Intentions
by hifield
Summary: Sometimes intentions are not what they seem and the results can be disastrous when emotions enter into the equation.  Can a friendship be salvaged and allowed to grow or will circumstances shatter Jennifer's world.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: _This was written for the Intentions Day Celebration on the Gateworld Forum for Ronon Dex/Jennifer Keller Appreciation/Ship/Discussion (Doctor & Wild Man) thread. Unfortunately, it took me until the Quarantine Day Celebration to get it finished … better late than never I guess! _

_Dedicated to the Love Shack girls who continue to keep the love alive! Hope you enjoy._

Spoilers: Season 5 Episode: Tracker

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters but I enjoy keeping the series alive. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Thank you Bailey for all your help and encouragement!_

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

Ronon was bored. It didn't happen very often but when it did it left him agitated and uneasy. It was the down side to his years of running … constantly on the move, always looking over his shoulder, but it did hone his skills as a warrior. He'd be forever grateful for his place in Atlantis but there were times when the tedium of the day-to-day routine caused him to long for a good fight.

Yesterday he'd been off world running through the woods chasing after a kidnapped doctor while trying to keep tabs on a tech savvy scientist who lacked some of the basic survival and tracking skills needed in the Pegasus galaxy.

The hunt had tested all his skills. Having to keep track of his teammate was a real challenge as the physicist had pulled him numerous times from the trail … two steps forward, one step back. All this added to the intensity of the day. They'd finally found Doc and her abductor once the sun came up… about the same time as a fresh batch of Wraith had arrived and all hell broke loose. When the dust settled introductions were made between all parties and Atlantis had saved yet another runner who answered to the name Kiryk.

By the end of the second day he'd stepped back through the gate to Atlantis safely with Doctor Keller, McKay, and a sick young girl, Celise who'd been with the Runner. He was still upset that Kiryk had lured the Wraith to a different planet to ensure everyone else's safety, but he'd have done the same. Knowing that Doctor Keller had disabled Kiryk's tracking device gave him hope that they might one day cross paths with the ex-runner again, but in the meantime the Satedan was anxious and bored ... once again.

Finding no one willing to train with him the restless soldier stood in the sparring room spinning his fighting stick, working on his moves for lack of anything else to do.

"What?" Ronon growled as Rodney entered stopping short in front of the warrior.

"OK, here's the thing … I've been thinking and … uh, I need to know your intentions," Rodney declared, clinching his fists to keep from cowering.

"Intentions?" Ronon asked.

"With Jennifer," the scientist clarified.

"I don't have any intentions."

"Oh! Okay," Rodney stated with relief. Turning to leave, he felt the stress of the situation begin to seep from his body leaving a smile in place of the uncertainty he showed upon entering the gym.

"Wait," the Satedan called, "What do you mean by intentions?"

"I mean, are you interested in her in a … romantic fashion?"

"No," he answered wondering where he got that idea.

"Good!" he responded smugly.

"Wait." Ronon considered the restlessness and boredom he was presently dealing with and decided this could be the answer. He cared about his teammate, even considered him part of his family … but what good was family if you couldn't enjoy a little teasing. _Yes, this could be the answer to his downtime monotony until the next set of new recruits arrived… much better than watching movies_, he thought to himself. _Besides, Doc was very pleasant to look at and he even enjoyed her company_.

"What?" Rodney frowned.

Ronon bite back a grin making eye contact once again, "Maybe I do … have intentions," he added placing his stick on the floor and leaning on it while enjoying McKay's painful expression.

"Oh," the physicist groaned, disappointedly.

"Do you have intentions?"

"Yes, well of course I do … that's why I was asking you," Rodney snapped.

"So … what are we gonna do about it?" Ronon asked raising his eyebrows.

"I don't know," he sighed.

Ronon stood pulling his fighting stick back into his hands and continued to twirl it around hoping to get a rise out of his teammate.

"I'm not gonna fight you for her, if that's what you're thinking."

"Great," Ronon grinned feeling he'd already won the confrontation.

"I'm not gonna step aside either so we're just gonna have to let her decide," Rodney declared, feeling more determined than ever to win the girl … something he rarely experienced.

"Okay," he agreed trying not to smile.

"Okay. So … may the best man win," Rodney challenged, walking forward to shake hands, sealing the deal.

Ronon shook hands feeling a small amount of guilt for playing with the man's emotions. He hadn't set out to deceive him but sometimes McKay just made it so easy. Watching him walk away, shoulders slumped in assumed failure, he decided to play with him for a while and then do all he could to see the man win the girl in the end.

~OOO~

Rodney awoke to a room full of light as the sun streamed through his window. Rolling out of bed he felt confident about the day having planned out his strategy before falling asleep last night. After showering and splashing on a bit of cologne the physicist entered the morning flow of traffic heading toward Jennifer's room hoping she hadn't left already.

"Good morning Rodney," Jennifer greeted as she opened her door. "What can I do for you this morning?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to get sometime to eat … most important meal of the day and all," he asked, wiping his sweaty hands on his pant legs.

"That's really sweet … uh… sure, just let me put my shoes on," she stammered, finding the situation a bit unnerving.

Having McKay show up at her door felt very disconcerting for the young woman. She'd taken care of his quirky needs in the hospital many times and even learned to deal with his rude and demanding behavior without taking too much offense but it felt odd to have him single her out for a purely social event. Never the less, it was rather flattering to have the man take interest in her outside her work environment and found the whole situation put a little spring in her step as they headed down the corridor toward the mess hall.

As the pair entered the dining area McKay noticed Ronon sitting across from Sheppard finishing up his breakfast. Filling their trays, he led the doctor across the room to join the men at the team table. As Jen turned to greet the Colonel, McKay stole a look at Ronon… smirking with delight at his ability to steal the first date with the much-desired CMO.

Jennifer didn't normally eat breakfast in the mess hall choosing to sleep the extra precious minutes instead. Her morning meal usually consisted of a muffin and hot tea, which typically sat on her desk for several hours before being touched. Thankfully, she had the luxury of a small microwave that sat on the counter in her office, which she utilized several times a day to warm up the same cup of tea. It was a breath of fresh air to actually sit at a table with real live companions and enjoy a few minutes of normalcy.

"This has been a real pleasure but I'm afraid I need to get to the infirmary or I'll be late for my shift," she smiled, pushing her chair in. "Thank you Rodney … hope you all have a good day."

"I'll walk you," Ronon announced, reaching for her dirty tray, "I'm going that way."

"No, … I'll walk with you … I have plenty of time," Rodney suggested, glaring at Ronon over Jennifer's head.

"I'm fine … both of you. Besides, you're not even finished with your breakfast Rodney."

John watched Ronon move around the table and fall into step with the Doc as they left the dining hall. "You should really close your mouth," he suggested to the stunned scientist, "it's really not very flattering. So … what's up with the interest in Keller all of a sudden?"

"Ahh… what do you mean … we're friends, that's all. I need to go," he stammered, quickly leaving the room. Rodney stewed all the way to his lab muttering under his breath at being bested by his opponent on the first day. It was time to start making some big moves if he wished to win Jennifer's affections.

Ronon walked with Jennifer through the corridors on the way to the infirmary letting her set the pace. He felt comfortable with the woman choosing to enjoy her company rather than partake in frivolous chatter. He was enjoying this competition with Rodney and spending time with Keller was rather like frosting on the cake. He always enjoyed his time with her when the occasion arose for medical treatment or the sporadic training session but spending casual moments with the doctor was proving to be even more enjoyable.

"Say, Doc … are you busy tonight?" he asked as they approached the clinic.

"Ummm, I don't think so. What ya need?" she asked thinking he had time for some sparring instruction. He'd been giving her weekly lessons until the last arrival of the Daedalus when training and missions took over his life for a few weeks.

"Sheppard's showing a movie tonight … thought you might like to go with me?" he asked trying to remain casual.

"Well … sure," she said, hesitantly. "What movie are you watching?"

"Not sure but I guess it won't be a chick flick unless Teyla picks the movie. I'll come by and pick you up after your shift," he declared before continuing down the hallway smiling to himself. Not only was she going to spend the evening with him but he'd be able to parade her in front of McKay at the same time. If anyone was keeping score he was sure he'd be ahead after tonight.

Dr. Keller sat at her desk late in the afternoon thinking over her morning activities. She couldn't believe how awesome her day had started out. She didn't know what to do when Rodney had shown up at her door but felt like kissing him now for dragging her to breakfast. She'd spent close to two years secretly pining for the attention of their resident alien … had she not gone to breakfast she wouldn't have a date with him tonight … she owed Rodney big time.

~OOO~

Movie night was a big success. Jennifer had tried on everything she owned by the time Ronon knocked on her door hoping to find the perfect outfit. Nothing she did could still the butterflies that were churning in her stomach. They arrived at Sheppard's before Rodney, making themselves comfortable on the small love seat … enjoying the tight fit. She thought John had picked out an entertaining movie, which everyone enjoyed except maybe McKay. For some reason the temperamental teammate kept glaring at Ronon, making her feel a bit uncomfortable. Several times she looked behind her to see if this was bothering Ronon but he seemed to be smiling despite the awkwardness. _Maybe I'm just imaging it_, she thought to herself. What ever was going on she wasn't about to let it ruin her evening and found herself snuggling closer to her date enjoying his attention.

"Ronon, can you stay for a few minutes, I want to go over a couple of things for tomorrow's mission," the colonel asked as everyone began filing out.

"I'll come back after I walk Jennifer home," he growled, frowning at Sheppard.

"No problems, I'd be glad to see she gets home safely," Rodney offered.

"I'll be find … I'm a big girl," Jennifer declared, blushing at all the attention.

"You're right on my way … shall we?" McKay asked, leading her across the room, smirking at Ronon as he closed the door behind him.

"Why doesn't he have to be in this meeting?" Ronon snarled.

"Its just negotiations and he has some doo-dah he's working on so McKay won't be joining us on this mission."

"Great," he muttered under his breath knowing his rival would be spending as much time as possible with Doc while he was off world.

~OOO~

Rodney moved swiftly down the corridor checking his watch for the umpteenth time. He had twenty minutes before a briefing with Woolsey but needed to sweet talk someone in the botany department out of some flowers hoping to swing by the infirmary and place them on Jennifer's desk before his meeting. Walking into the first lab he came to he took a moment scanning the room for anyone who might be willing to put a bouquet together for him.

"Hello Rodney."

Hearing a familiar voice behind him he whirled around so fast he was in jeopardy of giving himself whiplash. "Katie … ah… how … when … you're back!" he stammered feeling like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I just got back … how've you been?" she asked shyly. Dr. Brown had thought of him often during the months she'd been gone. They hadn't parted on the best of terms but she felt she could handle living in the same city again without the pain and hurt he'd caused. His presence in her lab though was proving a bit unnerving.

"I'm doing fine … good … wow, you look great," he added, completely caught up in the moment. "So … have you been keeping busy?"

"Yes … I just finished up some off world work in the Milky Way galaxy … it was very rewarding but when the project was done I thought I'd come back to Atlantis. Hard to go back to anything else once you've worked for the SGC," she snickered nervously. She'd dreaded this moment for weeks once her request to return was granted. She cared deeply for Rodney and felt she was finally in a position to work and live in the same city. Now her resolution was being put to the test … she was face to face with her heart's desire and wasn't sure she was up to the task.

"Yes, well … there are times I miss working in the private sector but it's impossible to find anything as rewarding. So … we should have lunch sometime … catch up," he stuttered, leaning back against one of the workstations, the thought of flowers completely forgotten.

"That would be lovely," she agreed, blushing. She was surprised at how attentive he seemed… even suggesting having lunch sometime. Maybe there was still hope for them as a couple after all.

"So have you eaten?" he asked grinning. Before he had a chance to make further plans his radio went off.

"McKay, this is Sheppard … do you copy?"

"I'm here," he growled.

"You're late," the Colonel stated, sharply.

"Oh … yes, yes… I'll be right there," he stammered. "Gotta go … I'm late for a briefing. It was good to see you, Katie," he said, turning to leave mumbling something about timing as he rushed from the room.

~OOO~

Rodney hurried into Jennifer's office excited and out of breath. "Sorry Jen, but I have to cancel our date tonight. We have an unscheduled off world mission and I'm leaving in ten minutes … can we reschedule for later in the week?"

"Not a problem … stay safe," she encouraged as he scurried out the door.

Jen leaned back in her chair and was quickly lost in thought. Rodney had been so attentive lately asking her to join him for dinners and movies … he even sprung a surprise picnic on her last weekend causing her to wonder if he was hoping to move their friendship into something more serious. She really enjoyed his company but knowing their relationship could never be anything more than good friends she hoped her suspicions were wrong.

What she enjoyed daydreaming about more was the attention she'd received recently from Ronon. He'd gone out of this way to spend time with her even giving up his days off to escort her on off-world missions. They'd established a good friendship but their relationship seemed more romantic lately and Jen knew she was falling in love with the man.

"Dr. Keller, you have a patient," Marie announced pulling Jen from her thoughts.

"Welcome home," Jennifer announced as she approached Katie Brown sitting on a gurney holding her arm.

"Hello Dr. Keller," she smiled shyly. "I've cut my arm on a piece of metal shelving in my lab."

"Let's take a look," she stated removing the paper toweling. "It looks worse than it is but I bet it still stings," she acknowledged smiling. "I heard you were back. Are you all settled in?"

"Yes … it's so good to see everyone, I really missed Atlantis."

"You were missed as well … especially on girl's poker night," Jennifer added laughing. "Well, looks like this should heal up nicely … try not to get it too wet over the next week," Jen instructed placing a bandage over the cut. "Are there any other concerns you might have?" she asked, noticing her friend seemed hesitant to leave.

"Actually, I was wondering if you might know if Rodney was seeing anyone?" Katie asked blushing.

"I haven't heard anything through the grapevine or seen him with anyone," she chuckled. "I've had dinner with him a few times recently and attended a few movie nights together and he's never mentioned anyone so I guess that's a no … I don't think he's seeing anyone."

"Thanks Jennifer. I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this to Rodney … I was just curious," she confessed before smiling and leaving the room.

Jennifer sat in her office going over her conversation with Katie. She'd always thought Rodney and Katie made a perfect couple and wondered if they might be able to start up a relationship again now that Katie was back. _Maybe she'd invite the two of them to join her and Ronon for dinner some night soon_, she thought as she locked up her office for the night.

~OOO~

Teyla spun around raising her fighting stick to block another jab from Ronon then went low as she turned hitting him in the back of this thigh … again!

"You seem very distracted today," she suggested as the two took a moment's rest on a nearby bench. "Would you like to talk?"

Ronon slouched back against the wall sighing deeply. "I did something stupid."

"Perhaps it is not as bad as you think," she suggested.

Ronon laid out the basics of the challenge he'd made with Rodney and waited for Teyla's response. Unfortunately, she was not as understanding as he'd hoped.

"How long has this been going on?" she asked.

"A few months … started right after Kiryk grabbed the Doc," he explained sheepishly.

"How does Jennifer feel about this deception?"

"Haven't told her," he confessed.

"All this time she has accepted your invitations but is not aware of the challenge?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes … we're just friends."

"You must tell her at once … perhaps she thinks you are more than friends."

"Why would she think that?"

"Because you keep inviting her to spend time with you," she said forcefully, surprised at his lack of sensitivity.

"I'll talk to her tonight," he agreed gruffly.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jennifer spent her day off cleaning her room and setting things up for Laura who'd be arriving with the Daedalus tomorrow night. Over the past few years the spunky Lieutenant had become her best friend and chose to bunk with her when on Atlantis. With their conflicting schedules _girl time_ was hard to find plus Jennifer really enjoyed having her around.

Finishing up with fresh towels in the bathroom she made herself another cup of tea while shooting off a quick email to her dad. Once she'd completed all her chores she sat and thought back over the past months quickly drifting into thoughts of Ronon.

He was everything she'd ever wanted in a man … caring, loyal, sincere and extremely protective not to mention sexy – an added bonus to her mental image of the perfect man. _So, why is he interested in me_? she kept asking herself. They'd exchanged personal information during their time together locked in the infirmary… almost had an intimate moment before the doors suddenly opened. After that their relationship seemed rather forced and awkward for a while finally settling into friendship more than romance. So, why now? When she compared herself with the other "beautiful" people on base she fell really short … at least in her own eyes. "I can't cook, definitely can't fight my way out of a paper bag and I'm not the most beautiful woman on Atlantis by a long shot … so why me?" she quietly whispered out loud.

Regardless of his reasons, she was walking on cloud nine and wanted nothing more than to make this feeling permanent. Glancing at the clock she realized the dinner hour was just about over and decided to make the journey to the mess hall after hearing her stomach growl. She slipped her shoes on just as her door chimed.

"Hi," she greeted, "you just caught me."

"Did you want to get something to eat?" Ronon asked.

"You read my mind," she answered, smiling. Walking the short distance to the transporter in silence she could tell he was preoccupied. She hoped he'd confide in her over dinner.

They shared a rather quiet meal with Ronon answering the few questions Jennifer could think of. Still he remained behind his wall of introspection offering nothing.

"Hey … are you okay? You seem quiet tonight," Jen asked after finishing her meal.

Ronon looked up with a slight grin, "I'm usually quiet," he teased.

"Touché."

"Huh?" he asked, unfamiliar with the term.

"It means you're right but… you seem more quiet than normal," she said chuckling knowing it still sounded like a silly description for her dinner date. "Anything I can help with?"

"Are you done?" he asked hoping to move this conversation to a more private setting.

"Ahhh … sure … unless you want my cookie?" she stammered, worried his mood might have something to do with her.

"Let's go for a walk."

Jennifer felt her heart pound as they stood … something was wrong. Fear began to tighten around her heart causing her to stumble slightly as they exited the mess hall.

Ronon reached down and took her hand, lacing their fingers together. He never should have let this challenge with Rodney go this far. What he perceived as an innocent game to wile away the boredom was turning into something else. He'd tired of the game and was now afraid of losing Jennifer's friendship. Hopefully it wasn't too late and she'd be a good sport he hoped as they made their way down the hall toward the transporter and the privacy of the East Pier balcony.

Jennifer didn't know if she should be hopeful or fearful. She loved the feeling of their hands bound together as they navigated the corridors … it felt right. Unfortunately, she felt a cloud of doom descend upon them and wondered if it would crush her world.

Walking onto the balcony Ronon led her to the far side pulling two chairs together so they were facing each other. He wanted to look into her eyes as he confessed his thoughtless game … hoping it wasn't played at her expense.

Sitting face-to-face Ronon reached over taking her hands as he tried to formulate the right words in his mind.

"That bad huh?" she laughed nervously. "Is it something I've done?" she whispered fearfully.

At her question, he rapidly raised his head to assure her it was nothing she'd done. "No … it's … I've … I'm sorry," he growled, having trouble getting started. "I've been playing a stupid game … needed to talk to you about it a long time ago."

"I don't understand … you'll have to give me a bit more information."

"McKay has a crush on you," he started only to be cut off by one bewildered doctor.

"What! How do you know?"

"When we got back from M33-985 he came and told me."

"Why would he do that?" she asked, confused.

"He thought I had romantic feelings for you too … wanted to know the score," he answered using some phrasing he'd picked up from the military. "See this is where it got out of hand … I was sort of bored and thought I'd have some fun with him … told him I was interested too. Just wanted to get a rise out of him but he took it seriously."

"Oh," she whispered, slowly pulling her hands back into her lap. All this time she thought Ronon was interested in her, cared about her, but it was just a game. "Wow, I don't know what to say," she declared, awkwardly.

"Do you like him?"

"NO! We're just friends but I don't want to hurt him," she grimaced.

"Doc, I'm really sorry. I meant to come to you right away and ask if you'd help me tease McKay for a little while but now I realize it was a dumb thing to do."

"Ya think!" she barked sarcastically. "It makes more sense," she mumbled under her breath.

"How do ya mean?"

"I'm definitely not someone you'd normally want to be with," she started, standing to put some space between them. Walking over to the railing she did her best to hold back the tears unable to look him in the face. "This is such a mess," she declared with a hitch in her voice.

"Jennifer, look … I'm not good with the whole dating thing," he rambled, trying to make her feel better.

"At least we have one thing in common," she sneered.

"I never meant to hurt you … it's not you Doc, it's m…," he frowned as she cut him off mid sentence.

"Don't say it … I've heard that line my whole life and I'm sick of it. Of course it's you! You started this ridiculous "game" … how could it be anyone else's fault?" she snapped.

Moving over to put a comforting hand on her shoulder he pulled back when she turned on him angrily.

"Why didn't you tell me what you were doing? I feel like such an idiot."

"I'm sorry … McKay caught me off guard," he tried to explain.

"What … the thought of someone being interested in me was shocking?"

"No … that's not what I meant … I'm sure lots of men are interested in you," he added hoping to smooth things over.

_Just not you,_ she thought to herself as the tears found their way to her chin.

"Hey … come here," he coaxed trying to pull her into his arms. "Please."

Unable to deny him, Jennifer surrendered to his request and let herself be pulled into his arms. The silent tears continued to fall as reality began to sink in … he wasn't interested in her, the last few months of bliss were all tied to a moment of boredom. She wasn't sure she'd ever get over the humiliation. "It's been a long day. I think I'll head to my room," she announced pulling away.

"I'll walk you."

"No thank you … it's not necessary … I'll be fine," she insisted, wanting to be alone.

"I'll fix this Jennifer … I promise."

"_There's nothing you can do to fix this_," she whispered once she'd reached the door.

~OOO~

Jennifer kept busy in the infirmary all day preparing for the arrival of the Daedalus later in the afternoon. If all went well, she'd be able to leave on schedule turning the processing of new recruits over to Dr. Cole. As tempting as it was to avoid Lieutenant Cadman's arrival by scheduling herself for the late shift, she knew Laura would position herself in the infirmary and glare at her until her shift was over … only postponing the "girl talk" until later in the night. Jen was still reeling from Ronon's confession and didn't want to explain it to anyone but Laura would insist on knowing what was wrong. At least she'd be a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on.

The friends met in the mess hall for dinner after Laura had finished her shift. Over noodles and 'mystery' meat they chatted about news from home and the happenings on Atlantis. Afterwards they retired to Jen's quarters and watched the first of several chick flicks Laura had brought from her private collection. After the first movie Jennifer changed into lounge pants and a tank top before plopping down on the bed with a heavy sigh.

"Okay, what gives?" Laura demanded

"What? What do you mean?"

"Something's going on with you … time to spill your guts," she ordered.

"Nothing's going on," Jen insisted. "_Absolutely_ nothing's going on," she mumbled sarcastically.

"Look, last time I was here you were all atwitter and refused to share. Now you're down in the mullygrubs so … what gives and who do I need to knock down a notch or two?"

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen," she snorted. "This is one time you may have met your match although I appreciate your desire to defend my honor," she said, grateful for her protective instincts. Knowing she wouldn't get away with keeping the whole mess to herself, Jen proceeded to explain the "challenge" and it's repercussions to her best friend hoping she might have some sage advice.

The girls talked well into the night mulling over the past months and everything that'd happened. Laura tried to find some moment Jennifer might have overlooked when she could have seen the situation for what it was but came up empty. Ronon had grossly misled Jen and now her best friend was paying the price for it.

"Well…looks like you've been taken over by "Ever After" envy," Laura announced.

"By what?"

"You know … girl loves boy, boy wants girl, all's right with the world and they all lived happily ever after!"

"Are you saying it's not possible?"

"No … but harder to find than in the movies. What are you planning on doing?"

"Not a whole lot I can do. I think it'll just be a bigger mess if he tries to fix it… I'll deal with Rodney myself if the occasion arises… lately he hasn't invited me to much of anything so maybe he's moved on," she sighed sadly.

"I agree… but with one condition … I think he owes you a kiss."

"WHAT! I can't believe you just suggested that," Jen gasped.

"Look, at the very least he owes you that," Laura insisted.

"Why would I want to kiss him if he doesn't even care about me like that," she asked incredulously.

"This has nothing to do with him," she began to explain, pacing around the room. She took a moment to figure out some kind of comparison to illustrate her thinking. "It's like a giant bowl of dark chocolate bonbons sitting just out of reach. They're perfect in shape with white chocolate drizzled over the top."

"You know those are my favorites … why are you torturing me … this isn't making me feel any better," Jen groaned.

"Exactly my point … they look perfect … melt in your mouth little morsels of heaven. You know that first bite will instantly hit your blood stream sending the pleasure all through your body before you can even take the next bite."

"Okay … this is not helping, now I need chocolate!"

"But … what if that first bite tastes like crap! What if they forgot to put the sugar in the batch or… better yet, what if they were all filled with maple nut centers?" she asked, knowing Jennifer hated that flavor. "They wouldn't look so yummy then would they?"

"Where is this going?"

"I'm just saying … I think the "Bonbon" owes you a kiss before you let him off the hook."

Jennifer let Laura's words roll around in her brain for a few minutes before smirking. "Okay, I get it. But I sincerely care about him now and we've never even kissed so how could that possibly be a deal breaker?"

"Remember Lieutenant Billy Johnson back at the SGC … you thought he was the cat's meow until he cornered you in the infirmary and tried to swallow you when no one was looking."

"I thought we agreed to never mention his name again," she growled as an involuntary shutter swept through her body, "I think I needed a towel to wipe my face off after that encounter. Where do men learn that kind of technique?"

"I rest my case and repeat … he owes you a kiss before squirming out of the mess he made."

Jennifer stood thinking about all the things Laura had said. Oddly enough, she found some merit to her words. What if she'd carried a torch for Ronon the past couple years for something that didn't exist … something only she'd fashioned in her mind. She purposed to give Laura's words some consideration before finding some ridiculous reason to blame everything on herself.

"Thank you," she whispered as Laura reached in to hug her soundly. As the two friends embraced her door chimed announcing an end to their discussion. Jen wiped her eyes and took a deep breath before opening the door knowing it would be Ronon on the other side.

"Hey … can we talk?" he asked.

"Sure … why don't we go for a walk," she suggested. Moving into the room she put on her shoes and gave Laura a hug before slipping out the door.

After catching a glimpse of Lieutenant Cadman, Ronon was glad to be going for a walk instead of being invited in. As they started off down the corridor toward the transporter he could tell she'd been crying and knew it was probably his fault. Feeling guilty for the hurt he'd caused he slipped his hand around her's and intertwined their fingers hoping to bring some kind of comfort never realizing the intimate act was just making things worse.

Leaving the confines of the city they walked out to the end of the pier and sat together looking out over the water. Jennifer sat quietly giving him time to collect his thoughts. Showing up at such a late hour at her door left her feeling that something was bothering him. She knew he'd get around to it eventually.

"How've you been?" he finally asked.

"You don't need to worry about me … I'm doing okay," she said feeling very vulnerable.

"I wanted you to know I haven't forgotten my promise. I'm still figuring out how to let Rodney know I'm not interested in you without pushing him at you."

"I've been thinking about that too. I've decided to let you off the hook," she smirked. "I think you should just go about your business and I'll deal with Rodney if he continues to pursue a relationship."

"I don't want to dump this on you … I said I'd fix it and I meant it," he answered, sincerely.

"Ronon, I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen and, quite frankly, I believe you've learned your lesson," she chuckled. "I don't mind dealing with Rodney if he seems to be getting serious. Maybe you should just let him know you have no intentions toward me anymore. Then you'll be off the hook."

She was having a hard time emotionally and just wanted to go back to her quarters and have a good cry before going to sleep. She needed some space from him … time apart so she could start to heal if that was even possible.

"Please, Ronon, let's put this behind us and start over."

"Sounds good," he agreed. "You look cold … I think we should head back." He stood and helped her up, turning back toward the city. "Thanks Doc, I owe you."

They slowly made their way to the transporter talking about the new recruits and Sheppard's mission scheduled for the morning. Before long they were standing outside her door as Ronon once again offered an apology for his careless acts.

Suddenly her conversation with Laura came flooding back. Summoning all the courage she could muster, she decided to take a giant leap, "Tell you what … all is forgiven but I have one request before we never talk about it again."

"Anything," he replied, turning to face her.

"I want a goodbye kiss," she stated, thankful for the dim lighting in the corridor hoping it helped hide the blush creeping up her face.

"A kiss?"

"Yes, a kiss … is that a deal breaker?" she asked, offended by his response.

"No … uh … sure," he stammered.

Hesitating just a moment, he leaned down and softly placed his lips over her's gently kissing her goodnight. Lingering a little longer than he'd planned he broke the kiss and began to pull away before changing his mind and moving in to kiss her properly.

Jennifer forgot about everything except the breathtaking sensations she felt from his chase touch. She'd just begun to savor the experience when she felt his lips again, more demanding and insistent than before. Placing her hands on his chest for balance, she rose on tiptoes to answer his urgency, giving as much as she got.

Reluctantly, Ronon finally pulled away, all too aware of the unexpected electricity that coursed between the two of them. He opened his eyes and stared at his prey in amazement. It was as if a light had been turned on shining on her face … her very beautiful face.

Jennifer found it impossible to swallow the growl that escaped her lips when he pulled back. She wanted the kiss to last longer especially since it'd be the only one she'd ever experience from her "friend". She was so sure it'd be far less than what she'd fantasized over the years and the shock was evident on her face … it was so much more.

The two remained staring at each other with stunned expressions for several moments before Jennifer cleared her throat and whispered "_goodnight_" as her door slid open. She was inside leaning back against the closed door before Ronon had a chance to wipe the bewildered look off his face.

He braced himself against the doorframe and hung his head in confusion … maybe he did have intentions after all. Shaking his head and growling he determined to chase any such thoughts away. He'd tried casually dating a few of the women on base and they'd all turned out to be disastrous … he didn't plan on going down that road again, not even with the beautiful young doctor.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jennifer did her best to bury the "goodbye kiss" as deep as her mind would allow. Determined to keep their friendship intact she pretended that everything was okay between her and Ronon saving her heartache and tears for those nights when sleep gave way to memories.

She tried to be a good friend … tried to keep things normal, but who was she kidding? Nothing was normal and it was getting harder and harder to play this game. If she could choose the perfect life she'd be coming home to Ronon every night and putting down roots in the Pegasus galaxy. Instead she continued to pour herself into her work convincing herself that romance was over rated.

She'd watched Ronon date several times over the months since the kiss tending to pull herself away from everyone when there was an extra person at the table. Rodney settled into a comfortable routine with Katie Brown so she'd never had to deal with the whole "unrequited love" awkwardness for which she was grateful.

She longed for the friendship she'd once shared with Ronon knowing that her desires for something deeper is what kept them apart. During a recent late night self-evaluation of her personal live she decided to put aside her wishes and work on re-kindling the warm friendship they used to share. It wouldn't fulfill her heart's desire but at least she'd have Ronon back in her life again.

~OOO~

Ronon wandered back to his locker to change shirts waiting for the next group of soldiers to arrive for training. This was an above average group of recruits and he guessed they'd only have to spend a few more weeks getting them ready for off-world missions. Sheppard had broken them up into three groups giving him the rowdiest men while the colonel and Lorne took the easy road. He didn't mind…usually a glare or snarl kept even the most over confident men in line. Today they were switching the men around and Ronon was taking on Lorne's group having just finished with Sheppard's men.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the cooler he sat on a bench against the wall sizing up the competitors as they entered the room. There were a couple of men who were bragging about their abilities, even excited to be sparring against the infamous Specialist Dex. Ronon couldn't help but smirk at their boldness. _Time to knock them all down a few notches_, he thought as he gathered them on the sparring mats to work on some routine exercises.

Once the individual combat began it was only a matter of minutes before the first injury of the day, Lieutenant Miller, was groaning on the mat. "Never let your guard down," Ronon sneered, stepping back so Miller's teammates could help him up.

"Nice moves Miller," Sergeant Murphy laughed. "Looks like you might get some face time with that pretty doctor in the infirmary," he suggested lewdly. Throwing him a towel to wrap around his bleeding forearm the Sergeant grabbed his hand hauling him to his feet.

"Maybe I should go with you … make sure you get there in one piece," Captain Norris volunteered. "If she won't go out with you I'm sure I can satisfy her needs," he grinned.

"Like the CMO would go out with either of you chumps," a fellow teammate snickered.

"Keller's off limits," Ronon growled getting everyone's attention.

"What do you mean off limits?" Murphy asked sarcastically. "You two have a thing or something," he smirked.

Before Murphy could even react Ronon had invaded his personal space sporting a glare that could kill. "I said off limits … do you have a problem with that?"

"No Sir," the Sergeant replied, clearly catching his instructor's meaning. "I'll pass the word."

Ronon gave him a cursory nod and resumed his position on the mat to continue their training. As the session continued he started questioning his outburst. He didn't want anyone bothering Jennifer yet he wasn't willing to step up and declare his feelings. Regardless of the right or wrong in his warning he was glad it'd happened and was counting on Murphy to spread the word amongst all the military on base.

~OOO~

Work had been fairly normal for Jennifer the last month without any off world trips until today. Sheppard's team had been scheduled for a routine mission to the planet with all the children and they'd asked her to accompany them. The plan was to hold a clinic in the main settlement making sure the younger ones were healthy and growing properly. Jennifer zipped up the last duffle after squeezing in the plastic tub of candy.

"Hey," Ronon greeted as he entered Jennifer's workspace.

"Hey stranger … I guess I'm ready," she announced walking over to grab her bags.

"I've got it," he smiled, looping the bag strap over his shoulder as he pick up the other two by the handles.

"I still pack too much," she grinned as they walked out of the infirmary.

Ronon stowed the bags in the back of the jumper before taking his usual seat behind McKay while Jennifer sat nervously in the back. Sheppard laid out the plans for the day with McKay running diagnostics on the shield while he and Teyla sat with the elders discussing any concerns or needs they may have. Jennifer would set up a clinic for the children and anyone who needed medical attention … Ronon volunteered to be her helper. The day progressed smoothly and by early afternoon Sheppard announced that the rest of the team was heading toward the outlying settlements giving Jennifer and Ronon time to finish with the kids.

Once the last child was shooed out the door Jennifer began packing her supplies. Ronon allowed some of the kids to drag him outside for a game of scrapball… an activity Sheppard had taught them on a previous trip. Finishing their first game, several of the older boys and young men joined the fun hoping to take Ronon down a notch or two with their practiced skills. On their last visit Sheppard had given them a case of soccer balls one of which they were swiftly moving up and down the makeshift field they'd created outside the clinic building.

Jennifer closed the last duffle bag slinging it over her shoulder. Moving toward the door she picked up the other bags backing out onto the porch and closing the door before moving onto the path that lead to the edge of the settlement.

Ronon's team kicked the ball hard toward the goal just beyond Jennifer's location. As the teams from both sides raced at each other their focus was totally centered on the ball and winning the match. Nearing the clinic Ronon spotted Jennifer in his peripheral vision stopping dead in the path of the oncoming team.

Jen's forward momentum had taken her into the outer edge of the clearing before noticing she'd walked right into the middle of the game. Hesitating for just a brief moment she turned to retreat to the safety of the clinic porch only to step directly in front of a tall young man running full force blocking her route of escape. Everything happened so fast she didn't even have time to drop the bags to protect her body. Closing her eyes she took the full force of several young men throwing her to the ground with more of them piling on top.

Ronon reached the heap of flailing limps before the dust settled flinging the men off of Jennifer as if they were sticks of wood. Rolling her over he got the first look at her injuries.

"Doc … doc, are you okay?" he called insistently as she lay on her back stunned.

"Owwww," she groaned, touching her face gently, "I think this was someone's elbow," she moaned touching the split lip and throbbing cheek bone. "Can you help me up, Ronon?"

"Are you sure you should be moving?" he asked worriedly, helping her sit up.

"I don't think anything's broken," she assured, groaning.

"Sorry Doc," he offered helping her to her feet. Ronon was a bit taken aback by the emotions stirring through his body at seeing her bloody and bruised. He cared for the woman but thought he'd gotten over the "other" feelings he had concerning his young friend.

"Sit here," he instructed leading her to the porch steps. Retrieving her bags he rummaged through two of the duffels before finding the first aid supplies. "Hold still." Ronon took time as he cleaned her face hoping he wasn't making the pain worse. "You okay?" he asked feeling her wince.

"Ya, I feel pretty stupid though," she mumbled.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I should have looked where I was going … especially off world," she sighed. "At least the only one I hurt was myself," she stated sarcastically.

"Hush," he ordered, "we shouldn't have been so reckless."

Ronon continued to clean off all the dirt and blood knowing she was probably going to need something for the pain. She tended to flinch whenever he got close to her eye and cheek. Mentally kicking himself for not keeping a better eye on her, he started to realize he was a bit more protective toward his favorite doctor than usual for friends. This relationship they danced around was hard for him to label. It may have started off as an opportunity to tease his teammate but this "friendship" had definitely turned into something he wasn't prepared for.

He should have made a move … should have placed his mark on her, claimed her as _his _but too much time had passed once he'd recovered from the feelings her lips had stirred and now it was all just awkward. He'd tried to date other women after the infamous "kiss" hoping to drive the desires for her out of his head but soon discovered those desires weren't residing in his head but rather his heart and they were impossible to dislodge. He'd also noticed that when he dated other women Jennifer tended to disappear leaving him craving her company even more. One thing he knew for sure, he'd never again play around with someone's emotions. Not only did he hurt Jennifer but he hurt himself as well.

"How does it look?" she asked pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Not bad now that the dirt is gone," he lied. She looked like she'd been on the losing side of a boxing match. "You need some pain killers? You keep wincing."

"Can you find me some in the larger bag?"

Ronon dug around and found something for the pain and a bottle of water. Reaching in again he pulled out an ice pack snapping it to life before placing it on Jen's cheek.

"How many?" he asked, shaking the bottle.

"All of them," she suggested, smirking.

Taking her hand he shook out several Ibuprofen and handed her the bottle of water. He'd watched her dispense the small pills in the infirmary and knew the four he offered her wouldn't hurt but hopefully they'd help ease the pain.

Calling over a couple of the young men, Ronon handed them the bags instructing them to take the supplies down the path to the place where the jumper lands. Turning back to Jennifer he saw her trying to lean against the porch pillar while keeping the ice pack in place. Even with all her injuries she still had a way of quickening his heartbeat.

"Come here," he chuckled, helping her stand as he moved her onto the porch so they could lean against the wall. Sitting down he pulled her to his side so she could rest her head on his shoulder while he held the icepack to her injuries. In no time she was drifting into a restless sleep as the discomfort eased. Closing his eyes he pulled her a bit closer settling into a catnap himself.

Sheppard parked the jumper next to the medical bags leaving Teyla and Rodney to pack while he walked the short distance to the clinic. Finding Jennifer resting against a sleeping Ronon brought a grin to his face. Pulling a weed growing against the steps he stood over the "big guy" tickling his nose until he jerked awake. _Tit for Tat_ Sheppard thought remembering his time in the jumper after the Midway station blew up.

"You're back," Ronon quietly snarled.

"Let's go … busy day?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows. If Sheppard didn't know better he's think they were more than friends.

Ronon gently reached over pulling Jennifer's hair back behind her ear giving Sheppard his first view of her banged up face.

"What the hell happened?" he growled, trying to refrain from yelling.

"Scrapball," Ronon declared, rolling his eyes. "Doc sort of stumbled into the middle of it."

"Well … we may need to revise some of the rules," John stated frowning. "Let's go."

Ronon held the side of Jen's head to keep her from sliding to the ground while he stood. Handing the icepack to Sheppard he gently picked her up, heading toward the jumper with his teammate.

On the way back to Atlantis Ronon sat with his arm around the Doc inspecting her face as she slept. He knew it'd be a while before the guilt faded and he stopped blaming himself for her injuries. In the meantime he purposed to keep a closer eye on Jennifer … convincing himself that it's nothing more than he'd do for any other friend, concluding that all he wanted was friendship… but his team knew better as they glanced at the protective way he held her. Sheppard and Teyla shared a knowing look before smiling in agreement… the warrior had given his heart away and didn't even know it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jennifer wandered through the infirmary checking on her patients before dimming the lights and heading to her quarters for the night. It'd been a long day and she was looking forward to a hot bath and glass of wine before surrendering to sleep.

"Jennifer," Marie called, stopping her friend before she exited the infirmary, "do you have a minute?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"I just heard the Daedalus will be docked longer than usual this trip so the social committee moved the Harvest Party out a week to include their crew. Are you and Laura planning on attending?"

"I'm not sure … I know Major Lorne has been talking about taking Laura whether she wants to go or not," she laughed. "I don't think I want to be a third wheel this time and I doubt I get invited," she growled sarcastically. The doctor didn't fancy herself a stunning beauty but still found it odd that no one had hit on her in months. Even the new recruits kept their distance last time the Daedalus docked.

"You know you're welcome to sit with me and Radek."

"Thanks Marie, maybe I'll get an invite from one of the new recruits," she sighed, wondering why she was having such a dry spell. She wasn't interested in dating … still working her way through the rejection from Ronon but at least it'd be nice to be asked… this lack of interest was starting to have an effect on her ego. No wonder Ronon only thought of her as a friend, even Rodney had set her aside once Katie returned to Atlantis. If nothing else, she was thankful she loved her job, which kept her more than busy leaving only her days off to pine for something that was never going to happen.

~OOO~

Jennifer sat in the mess hall gazing out the window deep in thought. Laura would be here tomorrow and insisting on her making an appearance at the Harvest Party. _What am I waiting for? she kept asking herself. Maybe I should go to the party and have a good time._ She knew she wasn't over Ronon yet but if she didn't step out and actually try to see other people she worried she'd never get over him. Obviously Ronon had no desire to have anything other than friendship with her and it wasn't working. Hoping that he'd change his mind was killing her and what it was doing to her self-esteem was indescribable.

"Hey Doc," Lorne greeted taking a seat at the table. "Mind if I join you?"

"Love the company. What brings you here this late?"

"Catching up on things in the office and missed dinner. What are you doing sitting here all alone?" he asked. Evan and Jennifer had been friends for quite a while and he was worried about her self-inflicted isolation lately.

"Weighing the pros and cons of attending the party this weekend. Laura gets in tonight and I probably need to make a decision before she starts nagging," she laughed.

"You know I can talk to her for you."

"No … I need to make some life decisions for myself and I know she means well. Frankly, I get tired of being a third wheel!" she stated, frowning at her pathetic life.

"I have a whole barracks full of guys who'd love to take you to the party," he suggested.

"And that's why I love you," she grinned.

"You need to practice saying "yes" once in a while," he encouraged.

"That's just it … I haven't had an invitation to anything in months. I'm beginning to feel like an old maid."

"Let me help you with your decision … regardless of what Laura says, I'd like you to come with us and I won't take no for an answer," he insisted squeezing her hand.

"Thanks Evan … you know you're my favorite," she smiled. "Just don't tell Laura," she added laughing.

~OOO~

Jennifer arrived at the infirmary dragging a bit after the late night conversation with Laura. It was so good to see her and took a bit to wind down after her late night arrival. Now she wished she'd insisted on turning the lights out earlier than she did no matter what Laura said. Marie stuck her head in the office handing Jen the night log and reminding her that new recruits would start showing up in about an hour.

The next couple of days flew by filled with chick flicks and lots of primping as the party drew near. Laura had brought several dresses and lots of nail polish. By the day of the event Jennifer was actually looking forward to it.

Evan picked the girls up right on time escorting them to the recreation room which had been transformed into a fancy supper club and as long as they kept the lights dimmed it was very romantic.

After dinner was served Jennifer spent some time visiting around the room giving Evan and Laura some time to themselves. She shared a dessert with Katie Brown while the botanist waited for Rodney to arrive. Sheppard's team had yet to return from a scheduled off world mission but should be along shortly. Dr. Cole drew the short straw and was covering the infirmary. Jen thought about relieving Cole later in the evening so she could make the last half of the party.

As Jennifer was ordering a glass of wine from the portable bar she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Turning she came face to face with one of the new recruits she'd checked in just a couple days ago.

"Good Evening Dr. Keller," the soldier greeted nervously.

"Good Evening … Lieutenant Smith?" she questioned smiling.

"I'm impressed you remembered my name," he grinned.

"Well, I must admit "Smith" makes it a bit easier than most recruits," she laughed.

"How bout we drop the sir name … you can call me Grant."

"I like that … you can call me Jennifer," she answered blushing. "Are you enjoying the party?"

"I'd enjoy it a lot more if you'd come dance with me," he asked turning toward the dance floor and holding his hand out.

_Moment of truth_, she thought. She'd been crabbing all week about not having a date and here was a tall, good-looking man who wanted to be with her. "I'd love to," she answered shyly slipping her small hand in his.

The two danced through the ending of one dance and completed the next before the music took on a slower tempo. As Grant moved to slide his arm around Jennifer's back Evan tapped the man on the shoulder. "I believe this is my dance, Lieutenant," he smiled.

"Yes sir," Grant answered handing Jennifer off without complaint … on the outside. But on the inside the man was very disappointed to be dismissed so early in the evening.

"Hey Short-stuff, how ya holding up?" Evan asked, leading Jennifer slowly around the dance floor.

"I'm actually having a good time … thanks Ev."

Sergeant Murphy watched as the newer recruit danced with the pretty doctor and wondered if he just didn't know about the "hands off" rule or was braver than he looked. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of Sheppard and his team entering the room.

Lorne could feel Jennifer's body tense and see her expression change as the new arrivals seated themselves at a reserved table two over from theirs. Looking over her shoulder Evan watched as Ronon pulled a chair out for Amelia and wondered if this caused Jen's distress.

"You okay," Evan asked, concerned.

"I'll be fine … just a little surprised Ronon brought a date.

"His loss I'm thinking," he grinned. Catching Grant's eye Lorne gave a slight nod inviting the man to take over for him. If nothing else the Lieutenant was fast on his feet taking Jennifer in his arms before the Major could even excuse himself.

"Hope you don't mind but Laura will have my hide if I don't twirl her around the dance floor a few times," he explained kissing her cheek before walking away.

"Sorry Grant, it's really not necessary for you to baby-sit me," Jen growled.

"Are you kidding … no place else I'd rather be," he grinned pulling her in closer.

Ronon leaned back in his chair sizing up the room when his eyes settled on Jennifer dancing with some new guy and not just dancing but slow dancing. It was evident to those around the table that something was wrong with their teammate.

"Hey big guy … you alright?" John asked once the girls left for the dessert table.

"I'm fine," he scowled.

"It's just you have that look," John smirked

"What look?"

"That look of someone's going to the brig and someone's going to the infirmary."

"Leave it alone," Ronon growled returning his attention to the dance floor.

"So what's with you and Amelia?" Sheppard inquired.

"We're just friends … we've been training together."

"Training … is that what you kids are calling it now?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'm hungry," Ronon declared leaving the table and the interrogation Sheppard was giving him.

"Hey," John yelled, getting the Satedan's attention, "bring me something too," he asked in his Commanding Officer voice.

"Yes, yes," Rodney called, snapping his fingers as he and Katie passed Ronon on the way to the table. "Nothing with citrus."

The big man turned and shot Rodney a death glare, while grumbling under his breath. He really didn't care that much about the food … just wanted to get away from Sheppard's third degree. At this point he may as well go to the mess hall and see if they had any food left from the dinner. Upon reaching the door he turned taking one last look toward Lorne's table and relaxed a bit once he noticed that Jennifer was back sitting alone with the Major and Laura… _where she should be_, he thought.

Jennifer sat with her friends enjoying a glass of wine while the DJ took a break. She wasn't sure how she felt about socializing with the opposite sex and was hoping to put Laura off for a while before her interrogation. One thing she was sure of … the last time she spoke with Ronon she forgot to ask for her heart back so moving forward was out of the question.

"So … I see you found Lieutenant Smith and all on your own … I'm proud of you!" Laura said grinning. She'd spent some time with the man on their trip to the Pegasus and had no qualms about him seeing Jennifer.

"More like he found me," she corrected. "Not sure if I'm really ready to jump in with both feet and start dating again.

"Doesn't hurt to admire the available merchandise," she grinned raising her eyebrows.

"You're insufferable!" Jennifer declared.

As the two friends exchanged sarcastic remarks Sergeant Murphy sat across the room pondering Dr. Keller and how well her body filled out the sexy dress she was wearing. Deciding the "hands off" rule was off the table, Murphy stood making his way across the room as the DJ began his next session.

"Good evening Dr. Keller … may I have this dance?" he asked using his best manners in front of the Major.

"Oh … ah … thank you Sergeant but um …"she stammered grasping for any excuse she could think of but coming up with nothing. Before Jen could back out Laura was discreetly jabbing her in the ribs and nodding toward the dance floor. Actually, if she was honest with herself she really did enjoy dancing with Lieutenant Smith and decided there was no harm in having fun once in a while. "Thank you Sergeant, that'd be nice."

Ronon entered the transporter holding a tray piled high with food still brooding over the image of Jennifer dancing with another man. If his hands weren't full he'd be scratching his head wondering why he was so moody. He enjoyed Amelia's company enough to ask her to the dance so why should he care what Jennifer did or with whom.

Placing the food in the middle of the table he took his seat letting the others grab plates and silverware off the dessert table while he took his vigil once again propped on the back legs of his chair watching the dance floor.

With a burst of alcohol-induced courage, Lieutenant Smith made his way to Sheppard's table and after greeting everyone he asked Amelia if she'd like to dance. Glancing over her head he shot a questioning look to Ronon for a silent approval receiving a positive nod for his trouble.

Amelia turned to Ronon placing a kiss on his cheek with a whispered "thank you" before taking the Lieutenant's hand. She loved to dance and knew Ronon would rather walk naked over a bed of burning coals than waltz around in a circle to music he didn't like. In fact … she wondered why he'd come at all especially since he knew Dr. Keller would probably be here. For some reason that woman drove him crazy and she had yet to discover why. Amelia enjoyed the Satedan's company … they had a lot in common … but she doubted they'd ever be more than buddies especially with his obsession of all things Keller. Even so, he was fun to hang out with.

Murphy and Jennifer danced to a lively country western tune followed by a Jamaican version of an old CCR song. She tried to carry on a conversation with the man but the music was too loud so she spent a lot of time smiling. Soon the music took on a slower tone, which is just what the man was waiting for.

"Thank you Sergeant … I think I'll sit this one out," she smiled turning to walk away.

"Hey Doc," he called laughing, trying to keep the conversation light. He'd put in his time and wasn't about to let her walk away without some kind of reward. "Come on … one more please," he pleaded, giving her his best puppy dog look. As she hesitated he reached over pulling her back and into his arms leading her politely to the music.

Jennifer didn't want to slow dance but decided there was no harm considering how respectful he'd been. The dance started off innocently enough with his hands positioned properly but then halfway through the song his hand took on a life of it's own moving lower and lower with each step.

Jennifer tried to move further away from her dance partner but he had a death grip on her upper arm to the point of inflicting pain. Pulling her in closer she could smell the liquor on his breath as he tried to join her at the hips. Disgusted with his actions she demanded he let her go still trying to maintain some semblance of being in control.

"Relax … I just want to show you a good time now that the "off limits" ban has been lifted," he sneered vulgarly.

"What are you talking about?" she growled angrily trying to shove him away with her free hand.

"Seems your boyfriend brought a date so he must not care about your status anymore," he leered.

Lorne and Ronon both noticed at the same time that Jennifer's innocent dance had turned into something neither of them liked. Ronon stood up growling as he threw his chair behind him on his way to the Sergeant with Evan right on his heels.

Ronon arrived first pulling Murphy away from Jennifer snarling at the man in barely controlled rage. "I thought I told you to leave her alone," he snapped shoving him toward the exit.

Murphy quickly recovered his footing foolishly standing his ground, "You can't possibly be serious," he demanded, spitting drunkenly with each word, "she's been dancing with other men and having a good time till you showed up… I call that fair game."

Ronon knew he was right but couldn't control himself. He swiftly knocked the Sergeant to the ground and was proceeding to teach him some respect when Sheppard arrived.

"Ronon," Sheppard yelled, gaining the big man's attention. "Stand down," he ordered pulling his teammate off Murphy.

"Walk it off, Sergeant," Lorne ordered helping the man to his feet. "Maybe you should call it a night," he suggested nodding toward the door.

Jennifer stood off to the side growing more humiliated with each breath she took. Taking a quick survey of the room she realized every eye was trained on the entertainment playing out at her expense. Unable to handle the attention she gave Laura a quick hug and excused herself heading toward the exit across the room.

Ronon turned to see if Jennifer was okay only to find Cadman standing alone behind the scuffle. Making eye contact with the Marine he saw her give him a brief "heads up" nodding toward the opposite side of the room.

Jennifer escaped through the door as the first angry tears fell. Walking halfway down the service hallway leading to the main corridor she stopped and lowered herself to the floor. It'd started off as a lovely evening with friends and co-workers and now she wondered if she'd ever live down the embarrassment. She scolded herself for thinking it was a good idea to fraternize with military men especially when said men had been drinking a lot. And what did Murphy mean by a hands off rule?

Ronon pushed through the door spotting Jennifer a few feet away. Seeing her crumpled on the floor in tears he rushed to her side unprepared for the angry assault he received as he approached.

Hearing the door open she quickly stood wiping her tears away as the Satedan barreled her way. "What are you doing," she yelled shoving him backwards as he came to a stand still.

"I was saving you," he declared, confused by her accusation. "You shouldn't have been with that guy."

"Why Ronon … why shouldn't I have been with him? And what's the "hands off" rule," she barked using air quotes to make her point.

"I don't like that guy."

"It's none of your business who I spend time with. You can't put me on a shelf while you date anyone you want. Why were you even looking at me tonight when you brought a date to the party? What kind of man does that?"

"I care about you … we used to have a relationship together."

"No … no Ronon, I used to have a relationship. I'm the one who laid awake at night and wished you were with me… I'm the one who swooned every time you held my hand… I'm the one who dreamed about having a life together. You… you're the one who stomped all over my heart then shoved it in your back pocket and walked away," she ranted out of control. "You don't get to tell me who I can see and who's not acceptable."

"Did you enjoy that guy running his hands all over you?" he growled back.

Jennifer took a deep breath trying to control her emotions. She knew Ronon was right about Murphy. After dancing with the man she just wanted to take a shower… he was a pig. "No … I didn't enjoy it," she softly answered, unable to look him in the eye. Feeling her eyes fill with tears, Jen turned away trying to get herself under control.

Ronon moved behind her putting his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry … I don't like to see you upset."

Her anger spent, she wiped her eyes and slowly turned to face her friend, "Did you put out a "hands off" order?"

"Maybe," he smirked guiltily. "Sorry, I didn't want that guy getting near you," he confessed leaving out the part about Murphy's instructions to pass it on to the rest of the men on base.

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

"I'll lay off if you promise to come to me if anyone ever bothers you," he proposed.

"It's a deal," she agreed as he pulled her into his arms apologizing again.

"You ready to go back inside?"

"You go … I'm going to go relieve Dr. Cole so she can come to the party for a little while. I don't think I'm brave enough to face everyone so soon," she said sarcastically.

Ronon felt her pulling out of his arms and reached down to wipe her tears away. He didn't want her to leave. Suddenly he felt a deep void knowing if she walked away he'd be miserable. Holding her by the shoulders he leaned down and kissed her.

Jennifer was shocked when his lips consumed her… spinning them both out of control before her brain kicked in. Pulling away she shoved him hard before starting another rant. "What are you doing?" she yelled.

"I'm sorry … I don't know … I just - _aargh_ … I don'know!" he stammered.

"I can't do this anymore," she snarled at him. "You need to figure out what you want … if I fit into your life you'll know where I am," she huffed before turning and walking down the hall.

Ronon watched her walk away and felt powerless to stop her. How could he answer her when he didn't even know what he wanted? He'd sworn years ago that he'd never love anyone again after losing Melena. She'd been his first love and the pain of losing her was too fresh to ever purposefully go through that again. But he knew Jennifer wasn't the kind of woman you dated casually and then tossed aside a few months down the road. She was permanent, she was for life, she was his … but she wasn't. "_Aargh_," he growled again as he walked back into the party.

Lorne watched Ronon open the door and met him halfway back to his table. "So … is she okay?" Evan asked concerned.

"Ya, she's going to the infirmary for a while. I think she's too embarrassed to came back to the party," he explained, unwilling to add any details of their fight.

"So I guess your "off limits" regulation isn't in play anymore," Evan stated, assuming Jennifer gave him hell for it.

"She didn't like it … sorta told me to back off," he scowled.

"The men on base will be glad to know she's available again," Lorne grumbled.

"No… she's still off limits," he growled.

Evan nodded in agreement holding back a smirk as Ronon walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you so much to those of you who are still following the story and especially to those who have reviewed … your input is very encouraging and helpful. Sorry for the delay between chapters … all I can say is "I'm slow"! Hope you enjoy this next offering.

Spoilers: Season 5 episode Prodigal

Just a reminder … I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters but I enjoy keeping the series alive. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Thank you Bailey for all your help and encouragement!_

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

Days moved into weeks … then months and true to his word Ronon kept his distance. As much as Jen appreciated the fewer days of confrontation she found herself missing Ronon and the comfort of his presence. She finally realized they'd never be able to share a close friendship at least not until she got over her love for the man, which she knew would be a long time coming.

After a heart-to-heart talk with Evan it was decided she'd accompany Major Lorne and his men on off world missions unless it became absolutely necessary to join in with Sheppard's team. With a few adjustments to her schedule and eating habits she discovered she could go days without seeing her protector. To avoid brooding over her circumstances she threw herself into her work and research hoping to hold back the flood of regret that'd taken root. It was time to move on but her heart wasn't quite on board yet.

~OOO~

Jennifer sat with a cup of tea going over the personnel schedule for the next month. Dr. Simmons was on vacation leaving them short handed for several weeks which usually didn't cause a problem but the last batch of staff replacements yielded no doctors leaving them stretched pretty thin. She did receive two lab technicians and two nurses … all of them proving to be excellent additions to her staff. Two of her nurses, Sara and Darla, were extremely gifted in every area except possibly discretion. The young women spent way too much time gawking and flirting with the men on base. Jen had already talked with them once about professionalism and to their credit they did try but she suspected this was a lifelong habit and may take some time to break. Several times she'd caught one or the other checking out the mission schedule posted outside her office. Jennifer suspected they were switching break times and shifts so they could cover the infirmary when their favorite teams returned from off world missions. Even so, she felt confident leaving the infirmary in their hands when she'd slip across the hall to her lab.

"Good morning ladies," Lorne greeted as he approached the nurse's station.

"Good morning Major … anything we can help you with?" Sara asked sweetly.

"Just here to see Dr. Keller."

"She's in her office," Darla answered nodding toward the far side of the infirmary.

Both women watched, lost in a sea of admiration as Lorne made his way across the room. "How long do you think we'll have to work here before someone like that comes looking for us?" Sara asked.

"Don't hold your breath," Darla chuckled.

"I don't see how she does the whole _friend_ thing with all the good looking guys on base. I couldn't do it … I'd need to take one of them home once in a while," Sara smirked. "Maybe she has a boyfriend back home or something."

"Rumor has it she's got a thing for Ronon but he's not interested. Now there's someone I wouldn't mind taking home and keeping," Darla giggled.

"Back to work ladies," Marie called as she walked by.

~OOO~

"Knock, knock," Lorne announced standing in the doorway. "You got a few minutes?"

"Hey, come sit," Jen said, standing to give him a hug. "What's up?"

"Wanted to run something by you … Booker got called back home on a family emergency so I'm thinking about replacing him with Lieutenant Smith while he's gone. Do you have any problems with that?"

"Evan, you don't need to get my approval. Sometimes I think I should just transfer back to the SGC just to make things simpler around here," she growled.

"Then I'd just have to come get you unless Laura gets to you first," he grinned.

"Sorry … Grant sounds like a good fit for your team and now that Ronon doesn't care anymore there shouldn't be any problems."

"So you don't think Dex cares anymore?" Evan asked.

"No … I'm pretty sure he only cared about me as a friend but then after the "kiss" he got a bit overly protective for a bit but now things are back to normal. I'm pretty sure he's still seeing Amelia and we haven't spoken to each other in quite a while … he even promised to lift the off-limits ban he put on me so I don't think he'll give Grant a second thought," Jen rambled.

"So you're over him?" Lorne asked, skeptically wondering if he should tell her the ban was still in place.

"No … I'm still in love with him but I'm learning how to live with it. Hiding in my lab helps," she laughed.

"Well put your hiatus on hold for an hour and come have lunch with me … please?"

"I'd love to … let me touch base with Marie and I'll meet you in the hall."

Walking over to the nurse's station she told Marie she was going to lunch then turned to address the women, "Girls, it's pretty quiet in here right now so why don't you take an early lunch… and please stop ogling the Major every time he's in the infirmary," she chuckled.

"Some things just need to be appreciated, Doctor," Sara sighed watching Lorne's backside slip from view into the corridor.

"Seriously, you'll both need to see a chiropractor for a neck adjustment if you don't stop," she scolded.

~OOO~

Jennifer and Evan loaded their trays and took a table in the back joining Lieutenant Smith. Seated next to Grant with Lorne on the end she easily settled into conversation enjoying her meal. Halfway through her lunch Sheppard's team entered the dining hall having returned early from a trading mission. Two tables over she caught sight of her nurses once again in heated conversation, no doubt over the quality of fine looking military men entering the room and she couldn't help but inwardly snicker in agreement.

"Lieutenant, at ease," Sheppard stated as the man rose to salute. "I see you'll be joining Major Lorne's team for a while … how many off world missions have you been on?" the Colonel inquired as he settled into his lunch.

"Three missions so far Sir … I really appreciate this opportunity," Smith added excited at the prospect of more travel through the gate.

"Hey Doc, how are things in the infirmary?" Sheppard asked as the rest of his team arrived at the table.

"Quiet for the time being."

Ronon walked up between Jennifer and Grant placing his tray on the table and grabbing a chair from the table behind him. Jen scooted a little closer to the end of the table giving the big man a bit more room. A glare thrown in Smith's direction caused the Lieutenant to move away from the doctor in the opposite direction, which was his intention.

"Hey," Ronon quietly greeted once he was snuggly settled at Jennifer's side.

"Hi," she shyly answered.

As usual, Ronon got down to business with his meal and before long added his empty water bottle to the top of his tray. Unable to think of any topic of conversation he reverted back to the question, which usually occupied his mind, "How've you been?"

"Keeping busy … working a lot in the lab," she explained feeling awkward in his presence. "Actually, I'd better get back," she announced looking at her watch.

"I'll walk you," he offered gathering both their trays.

~OOO~

Sara watched the "jockeying for position" going on at Sheppard's table and couldn't help but laugh sarcastically. "Well, for someone who isn't interested in Dr. Keller, Ronon seems to be going a bit out of his way to sit next to her," she pointed out to Darla.

"See … that's what I've been trying to tell you. All the good-looking guys seem to be at her beck and call but she doesn't even notice. Just once I'd like Ronon Dex to push someone aside so he could sit with me," Darla sighed.

"Dream on girlfriend," Sara laughed.

~OOO~

Ronon stood with Jennifer guiding her out the doors toward the transporter. He was glad to be near her again. Happy to smell the scent of her perfume, pleased to watch the bounce of her hair with each step she took. This was dangerous … he never should have offered to walk with her. All this time he'd thought he was getting over her, thought they could return to their friendship. Truth be told, he desired her company more than ever and feared he was about to make a big mistake.

"You busy tonight?" he asked before she moved into the infirmary.

"My shift ends at 1900 hours, so I guess I'm working," she smiled

"That's still early. Sheppard's organizing a bonfire on the mainland … you should come."

"Hummm … what time are you gathering?" she inquired, knowing they'd be shuttling people back and forth.

"I'll ask Lorne to wait for you."

She hadn't been to a social event since the harvest party weeks ago. It'd be nice to relax with friends for a while and she thought she was finally ready to be around Ronon for an evening. Actually, she was hopeful his invitation was a sign of his desire to be with her again. "Sure… sounds like fun."

Ronon smiled at her acceptance as he turned making his way to the gym. Putting his fears aside, he hoped before the night was over he'd be on better footing with the young CMO.

Jennifer floated through the rest of the day counting the hours till her shift was over. She knew she should be more protective of her fragile emotions but it felt so good to have her friend back. She'd told him to find her if she fit into his life … maybe he'd finally made a decision.

Ronon finished his second training session taking a few minutes to cool down while he drank a bottle of water. He couldn't stop thinking about Jennifer and how good it felt to talk to her again. He was pleased she agreed to join them tonight … he missed having her hang out with the team. Hopefully this was one step closer to restoring their friendship. Checking the clock above the door he shoved his empty water bottle and towel into his gym bag realizing he had just enough time to clean up and meet his team in the jumper bay. Hurrying down the corridor toward his quarters he couldn't help but smile at how well the day was going.

~OOO~

Dr. Keller changed out the bandage on a Marine who'd been hurt during a routine off world mission earlier in the week. The soldier couldn't have been more than twenty years old and extremely wet behind the ears. As she was giving her patient instructions on keeping the wound as dry as possible and supplying him with a new bottle of meds Marie showed up to clean up the area and restock the dressing tray.

"Dr. Keller," Marie spoke, once the soldier had left the area, "I was hoping to leave early today if possible … I've been invited to a bonfire with Radek and Colonel Sheppard's team and they will be leaving just before my shift is over."

"It's pretty quiet in her right now … why don't you finish up here then leave for the night," Jen offered.

"Thank you Dr. Keller … you should join us," she suggested.

"Actually, I'll be coming with Major Lorne later this evening … see you there," she smiled, returning to her office to finish up the paper work for her shift.

Ronon walked into the control room looking for Lorne on his way to meet Sheppard. He wanted to remind the Major that Jennifer would be riding with him as soon as her shift was over. Not finding him in the immediate area he figured he'd radio him from the jumper bay.

"Ronon," Amelia called out as the Satedan was making his way to Woolsey's office. "Are we still on for tonight?"

"Yeah … can you come now?" he asked approaching her station.

"Be right there … Chuck's going to cover for me and he should be here any minute."

"Sheppard… this is Ronon, you copy?"

"I'm here," John answered as he and Rodney were making their way back to the central tower with remote control cars in hand. "We're out on the east pier should be there in ten."

"I need to see Woolesy … I'll meet you in the jumper bay," Ronon explained to Banks as he left to find the expedition leader.

"You wanted to see me?" Ronon announced as he stood in front of Woolsey's desk.

"May I ask why you have not filed a single mission report since I assumed command of this base?"

"Cause I haven't given you any," the Satedan explained respectfully. Listening to the leader's policy explanation concerning mission reports caused some awkward grimacing on Ronon's part and a confession of not feeling comfortable with his writing skills.

"I figured you might say that … use this," Woolsey instructed handing the soldier a small device.

"It's a digital recorder. Speak into it … we'll plug it in and your report will be automatically transcribed and filed with the others."

"I'm not good at talking either," he confessed frowning.

As Richard began to explain himself further, Banks announced an incoming wormhole urging both men out to the control center to assess the unexpected situation.

"Is the shield raised?" Woolsey asked upon entering the room.

"Yes sir … Major Nelson's IDC," Amelia announced.

"They're early … not due back until tomorrow. All right, let 'em in" Richard ordered.

Amelia lowered the shield and they watched as the puddle jumper entered the gate room settling on the floor.

"It's not going to the jumper bay … what's wrong?" the Atlantis leader asked.

"Major Nelson, what's your status?" Amelia inquired after activating her radio.

Everyone focused on the parked jumper waiting for a reply from the Major. Ronon found himself on full alert as a shimmering force field rose surrounding the jumper.

"What is that?" Woolsey demanded.

"Get everyone out of here," Ronon ordered, fear rising in his voice. "Get 'em out now!" he shouted.

Before anyone could even register what Ronon was saying an energy burst knocked everyone out dropping them to the floor unconscious. Moments later the back ramp of the jumper opened allowing Michael and his hybrids access to the control room and Atlantis.

Michael had his soldiers drag the unconscious Lanteans out of the way locking them in a nearby room as he went to the computer consoles closing all immediate access doors. His hybrids quickly connected the control room to the external power source in the jumper before programming a stun field two levels above and two levels below to assure them protection from Atlantis' military while they worked.

~OOO~

Dr. Keller was standing at the nurse's station posting the evening orders when the front and back doors to the infirmary automatically clanged shut.

"Not again," she huffed worriedly.

"Does this happen often?" Sara asked

"It's not supposed to happen at all unless we have a contamination situation in the City," she explained, immediately thinking of her time spent with Ronon in their last lock down.

"So what should we do?" Darla asked nervously.

"Most likely it's just a glitch but let's act as if it's for real and prepare the infirmary for an emergency type situation.

The women set to work preparing treatment trays and staging examination areas. Jennifer made sure the operating rooms were prepped and extra supplies were available throughout the rooms.

"Dr. Keller, I think we're ready," Sara announced.

"Good work, why don't you and Darla check the first response kits and prepare a couple of gurneys then you can relax until Rodney gets the doors open.

Jennifer finished her paperwork and found herself pacing her small office letting her imagination run wild. She didn't like feeling this helpless and prayed it'd all be over soon. As she was imaging being overrun with some kind of Pegasus sickness she heard someone banging on the door closest to her office.

"Dr. Keller … can you hear me?" Lieutenant Smith yelled while pounding on the tall metal doors. "Hello … can anyone hear me?"

"Yes … we can hear you?" Jen yelled back.

"We're going to blow the door so get everyone back," he explained.

The women ran to the opposite side of the room ducking behind a bed just as the C-4 blew the doors apart. Lorne's team made quick work of clearing the entrance then carried Evan into the infirmary.

"Put him over here Sergeant," Jen instructed pointing to the closest gurney. "What happened?"

"Michael has taken over the control room and set up some kind of force field … the Major was the first one to hit it head on and was thrown back down the stairs," Sergeant Meyers explained.

"I thought Michael was dead?"

"We all did," Meyers replied.

"Is the rest of the team okay?" she asked as she started examining Evan for injuries.

"We're all fine," the soldier replied.

"Sergeant Rivers, are there any other injuries in the city?" she asked Evan's second in command.

"We're in radio contact with Colonel Sheppard's team and as far as I know we have the first injury although it's hard to say since we're locked out of the control room. Zelenka and McKay are working on restoring systems.

Jennifer and Sara rolled the portable scanning machine other to the makeshift exam table as Rivers told her what he knew about the situation.

"Meyers," Sergeant Rivers yelled getting the Lieutenant's attention, "toss me your radio."

"I'll leave this with you so you can monitor the situation," Rivers explained as he set the radio on the counter next to the nurse's station. "Sorry Doc, we need to get back."

"Go… I'll take good care of him," she promised nodding toward Lorne's limp body.

Jennifer quickly finished the scan while Sara charted all Lorne's vitals. After evaluating the scan a second time Jen was certain Evan had only sustained a concussion from the force field and should regain consciousness soon. She'd just instructed Sara and Darla to wheel the Major across the room when the radio came to life.

"_Colonel Sheppard!"_ Jennifer heard Zelenka's excited voice over the radio. _"Ronon is in the Control Room … he's fighting with Michael."_

"_Almost at the Jumper Bay … keep us posted,"_ came Sheppard's winded reply.

Jennifer found herself standing in front of the radio hanging on its every word. She wanted to run to the control room and see for herself that Ronon was okay. She wanted more information. Closing her eyes she willed Radek to keep talking but the radio remained silent.

"Doctor, are you okay?" Sara quietly asked.

"Yes … no … I'll be fine. Would you please set up the monitoring equipment for Major Lorne." Jen instructed as she softly placed the radio back on the counter.

The young doctor pulled herself away, walking toward Evan's bed only to be pulled back when the radio started broadcasting again.

"_Radek, tell us what's going on up there,"_ Sheppard's voice demanded.

"_I … I can't tell. Ronon is down. He might just be unconscious,"_ the physicist explained hurriedly.

"_Tell me when he comes to."_

Dr. Keller clung to the radio as if it were a lifeline. She was trying to plot a course in her mind to get to the control room without encountering the stun field or the enemy when an alarm sounded blaring loudly throughout the infirmary.

"What is that?" Darla cried, fear gripping her body.

"That's the self-destruct alarm … Michael must have armed it," Jennifer growled. "Calm down," she instructed her nurses.

"Shouldn't we do something?" Sara squeaked, her eyes filling with fear.

"Rodney and Radek will get it turned off," Jen stated confidently, hoping her false bravado was convincing. While the self-destruct blared in the background Zelenka's voice could once again be heard over the radio.

"_Rodney?"_

"_Yeah, Radek, go ahead,"_ Rodney replied.

"_I finally figured out how to override some of Michael's lockout codes."_

"_That's great. Can you shut down the self-destruct?"_

"_No. No, no, no, that will take a little bit more time. I have, however, managed to get the access doors to the gate room open,"_ he explained rapidly.

"_Well, that does us absolutely no good! I mean, the stun field's still in effect!"_ Rodney ranted.

"_What about the transporter on the gate room level?"_ Sheppard asked, his voice sounding hopeful.

"_Uh, no, no. I still don't have control of that either."_

"_For cryin' out loud!"_ McKay snarled.

"_I'm sorry! I'm doing the best I can! Michael has placed several highly encrypted codes in …"_ Radek began to explain before being cut off.

"_Look, just … What about the gate shield? Can you lower it?"_

"_Ye … yes. That I can do,"_ Zelenka acknowledged.

"_Great." _

"Do you understand any of that?" Sara asked, confused by the whole conversation.

"They must be working out a plan to get into the control room," Jen answered, hoping Ronon was out of the direct line of fire once the battle began.

"_Radek, get ready to drop that shield on my mark,"_ Sheppard ordered.

Jennifer moved over to the emergency gurney and med kit making sure it was ready to go once the all clear was announced. Only hearing the radio transmissions was driving her crazy leaving so many questions unanswered. Her biggest fear right now was the uncertainty over how many Atlantis personnel were injured.

"_All right, I'm in the air, approaching the central tower,"_ McKay said, drawing Jennifer back to the radio.

"_Copy that … Zelenka, you ready?"_ Sheppard asked.

"_Ready when you are,"_ the scientist confirmed.

"Dr. Keller … what do you think they're doing?" Darla asked, nervously.

"How long do we have before the self-destruct goes off?" Sara inquired, fear evident in her voice.

"I'm sure they're working on it," she insured them. "Now that we have a better idea of what's going on why don't you both check to be sure we are adequately prepared," Jen suggested knowing they'd do better if they kept busy,

"_I'm in position, ready to dial,"_ McKay announced,

"_All right, Radek, drop the shield,"_ the Colonel instructed.

"_Shield's down! Go Rodney!"_ Zelenka encouraged.

Jennifer found herself drawn back to the radio holding her breath, as the plan to re-take the city seemed to intensify.

"_Stun field is neutralized,"_ Radek stated, an air of urgency in his voice.

"_What about the self-destruct? Is it disabled?"_ Rodney questioned.

"_Yes, yes. It shut off when the jumper's power was cut._

"_Good, I'm heading back. Go ahead and reboot the city's power,"_ McKay ordered.

"_Yes, I'm already doing it."_

As soon as power was restored, Jennifer received the radio call for a medic to the Gate Room. Medical personnel began streaming in once the systems were restored freeing Jennifer to leave for the Gate Room. Grabbing Marie on her way down the corridor the two sprinted to the nearest transporter, gurney in hand.

Walking into the control center was complete chaos. Skirting around the disabled jumper they quickly found Ronon on the far side of the room. Jennifer conducted a brief exam before enlisting several Marines to lift him onto the gurney but not before placing a brace around his neck to protect his spinal cord. "Please, please, please," she kept repeating in her head, "don't let this be bad."

By the time the women got back to the infirmary it was filling up with causalities including Mr. Woolsey. Since Dr. Cole seemed to have things under control, Jennifer began working on Ronon starting with a full body scan. Once she'd completed all her tests Dr. Keller had Marie and several techs move the warrior to a bed next to Lorne while she looked over his scan a third time.

Several hours later the pandemonium quieted down giving way to a dimly lit room filled with the humming and beeping of monitors. Dr. Keller checked on Major Lorne one more time before releasing him to his room after extracting a promise from him to take it easy. Making a final sweep of the infirmary she encouraged those keeping vigils to return to their quarters promising to call if there were any changes in their injured teammates.

Moving on to Ronon's bed, the CMO checked his vitals while assuring Colonel Sheppard she'd be staying with him through the night. After spending a few minutes going over the status of those who were admitted Jen suggested he check on Teyla and the baby before getting some sleep. She watched as the Colonel nodded then pulled a sleeping McKay from his chair pushing him toward the door.

"Let me know if there's any change," he asked knowing she'd be there when Ronon woke up.

Sitting in the darkness Jen began going over the events of the day warning herself not to get too close. They were supposed to be "friends" … no emotional attachments. The last thing she wanted was to be perceived as clingy. But hadn't he asked her on a date just a few hours ago? He'd even arranged for Evan to wait for her so she could join him at the bonfire. Surely he wanted something more than just a strained friendship. Resting her head for a moment on the side of his bed Jennifer fell asleep holding his hand.

~OOO~

Ronon began to stir in the early hours of morning. He kept his eyes closed while listening to the sounds around him. "Infirmary," he thought as he slowly opened his eyes. Looking down he was surprised to see Jennifer asleep by his side. He liked the thought of her taking care of him … being here when he woke. Slowly he pulled his hand free wanting to touch her hair … run his fingers through the loose strands.

"Hey … you're awake," she said, sounding groggy from sleep. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine … head hurts," he croaked. "Michael?"

"He's dead along with his hybrids. Everyone else is okay … you had me worried."

"Sorry … I didn't fall that far," he said hoping to get the focus off himself. "Teyla okay?"

"She and Torren are fine … a bit shook up from the ordeal but Colonel Sheppard is keeping an eye on her."

"Good."

Jennifer rose straightening her uniform before checking his vitals. Personnel were slowly starting to arrive to check on teammates. She noticed Amelia enter the infirmary heading in her direction, probably here to see Ronon.

"Good morning," Jennifer greeted as the gate tech walked to the far side of Ronon's bed.

"Good morning Dr. Keller … how is our patient?"

"He just woke up," Jen smiled, watching the interaction between the woman and Ronon.

"Hey, how're you feeling? Sorry I didn't get here sooner, I just got off duty," Amelia explained reaching for Ronon's hand.

"I'm fine," he said feeling awkward in the presence of both women.

"Were you on duty when Michael arrived," Jen asked the gate tech nervously, trying to make small talk.

"Just getting off duty … I was getting ready to go with Ronon to a bonfire when the gate activated," she explained. "Next thing I know I'm waking up to an invasion of Michael and his soldiers. How about you?" Amelia asked.

"I was locked in the infirmary for most of it," she said awkwardly.

Jennifer felt her world tilt and slowly start spinning. How could she have misjudged the situation so badly? Why would he want to take her to the bonfire … why would he even want to be around her at all? Now she saw it for what it was … Ronon just wanted to be nice and include her in their activities. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she thought. She made a decision right then to never be this vulnerable again.

"I'm so thankful you're okay," she stammered, trying to think of something to say when all she wanted to do was run. "I should get to my other patients," Jennifer said, avoiding eye contact with Ronon.

"Hey Doc, when can I get out of here?" he asked, wanting to keep her in the room but not knowing what else to say.

"I'll send Dr. Cole around to talk to you later," she softly explained. Jennifer held his eyes for one long moment before she turned and walked out of the room … out of his life.

Ronon watched her leave … saw the tears she'd held at bay. For once he knew exactly how he'd screwed up … no need for Sheppard or Teyla to gently point out the obvious or listen to Jennifer's rants … seeing the hurt fill her eyes he knew he'd done it once again and had no idea how to fix it.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jennifer awoke early on her day off trying her best to get back to sleep. Once she'd started analyzing all the mistakes she'd made over the last year she was wide-awake. Tired of reliving the wasted time she'd spent yearning over what "could have been" with a certain Satedan she rolled out of bed determined to change things in her life instead of being swept along on an emotional tidal wave of desires and regrets.

Sighing deeply as her feet hit the floor, the young doctor padded into the bathroom for a long hot shower to cement her resolve. Once dressed for the day she began in the living area for a thorough cleaning of her quarters. After dusting and straightening everything in the room she threw her dirty clothes in a basket heading toward the laundry facility.

Jen dropped her uniform bag with the attendants before moving to the washers to clean her personal clothing. That done she moved to the storage closet looking for the vacuum cleaner assigned to her quad. As usual, the machine was missing with the sign-out sheet showing Katie Brown as the last name on the list. Thankfully Katie's quarters were just around the corner saving her a bit of time.

"Good morning Dr. Keller, you're up bright and early," Dr. Brown welcomed.

"Good morning, and it's Jennifer, please" she smiled, entering the room.

"As long as you call me Katie."

"Deal. I'm on a cleaning binge and saw that your name was on the sign-out sheet for the vacuum," Jennifer explained.

"Wow … I forgot all about that. I think it's in the corner … looks like Rodney is using it for a clothes rack," she giggled, throwing the clothes on the bed. "Sorry Jennifer."

"No problem, I'm a roll!" she laughed. "I don't think my room's been this clean for months."

"I was just on my way to the mess hall for some breakfast why don't you join me?"

"I don't want to be a bother," Jen said hoping to beg off for fear of running into Ronon.

"Please … Rodney's on a mission and not due back for a while … I'd love your company."

"Sounds good," she agreed.

Jennifer asked the botanist to meet her outside her quarters in ten minutes giving her just enough time to throw her clothes in the dryer and drop off the vacuum. As she waited in the corridor, Jen thought about all she'd accomplished in the early hours of the day and couldn't help but smile. She thought about attributing it to her early start especially since she was NOT a morning person, but if she was honest with herself it was probably due to her newly formed plan to walk away from all things Ronon. Without him occupying her every thought it freed her to actually have a life. Either way, her quarters were clean and it wasn't even noon.

The women found a table in the nearly empty room enjoying their meal and conversation. Jennifer had desired getting to know Katie now that she was back in Atlantis but since she was avoiding social events their paths had little opportunity to cross.

"I couldn't help but notice Rodney has moved in with you … I'm really happy for you guys," Jennifer said earnestly.

"Thank you … I really appreciate that. I know when I left here I was so hurt … I sort of gave up on love and threw myself into my work. Did you know he was going to ask me to marry him the day we were locked down together in my lab?"

"I'd heard rumors. That must have been so hard for you," Jen said sympathetically. "How'd you get beyond the rejection … if you don't mind my asking?"

"Returning to Earth helped," Katie confided. It took quite a while … I don't think I was truly over it even when I returned.

"Did you try dating again?" Jennifer asked, hoping to get a better handle on her own situation.

"Once. It was a disaster," she chuckled. "I compared everything he did to how my Rodney would have done it … the poor guy never stood a chance. When you've had the best it's hard to settle for anything else," she explained proudly.

"I can understand that," Jen sighed. "You guys are good together."

"Thanks … I've had a few tell me I'm crazy to give him another chance," Katie frowned thinking of the cruel words and gossip she'd heard. "He broke my heart but if I'd never given him another chance I wouldn't be this happy. On the up side, he is constantly going out of his way to make it up to me," she giggled, blushing.

"I'm so happy for you," Jen said reaching over to squeeze her hand.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"No," Jen answered, desperately wanting to change the subject.

"Huh … Rodney thought maybe you and Ronon might be seeing each other."

"No, we're just friends … I'm definitely not his type," she said a little too quickly. "Well, I best get back to my cleaning," Jen laughed. "This has been nice … let's have lunch again next week," she suggested.

"I would like that," Katie agreed. Watching her friend walk away she couldn't help but wonder if there was more to the "Jennifer and Ronon" rumors than what she'd denied. Whatever was behind the sadness she saw in the doctor's eyes she hoped their new friendship would be a comfort to her.

Jennifer was thinking over all the things Katie had shared with her as she walked across the dining hall. The woman had touched her heart without her even knowing it. Here was someone who'd gone through a lot of similar things as she was going through and come out happy on the other side. Of course the big difference being Katie won the man of her dreams in the end … big difference. Still, maybe she'd have some sage advice to pass on to her once their friendship wasn't so new.

As the doctor rounded the corner to the exit she was startled to see Sheppard's team entering the room and plowed right into Rodney who, like Jennifer, was paying little attention to where he was going.

"Are you okay … I'm so sorry," Jen apologized while her cheeks turned a beautiful shade of crimson.

"You really need to watch where you're going … I could have dropped my data pad," he growled.

"I know, I'm really sorry, Rodney."

"It's not just the physical discomfort you caused but if your carelessness resulted in me losing information on my computer it could be disastrous to the whole city," he grumbled.

"That's enough Rodney," Sheppard ordered rolling his eyes at the scientist's exaggerations.

Ronon stepped aside giving Jennifer a route of escape. As she hurried into the corridor he reached over taking hold of her forearm, "Are you okay?"

_No, no, no … don't touch me … I can't think when you touch me,_ she screamed to herself. "Thanks, I'm fine … just clumsy."

"Have you eaten?" he asked never taking his hand off her arm.

"I just had breakfast with Katie … good to go for the rest of the day," she smiled awkwardly.

"I'll see you," he returned, just as awkwardly.

Jennifer smiled reassuringly as she turned to walk away. It hadn't even been twelve hours and she was already being tested on her new plan of action to get on with her life.

Finding Katie sitting at a table alone, Rodney made his way across the room with the rest of his teammates following.

"You're home early," Katie beamed as Rodney took a seat beside her.

"Wrapped up early … still not sure why my presence was needed," he said sarcastically, frowning at Sheppard.

"It was a team mission … you're a part of this team," John stated raising his eyebrows.

"How are you today?' he asked Katie leaning down to kiss her on the cheek.

"I just had a lovely lunch with Jennifer," she beamed.

"Yes, well … she just barreled her way out of the mess hall … almost knocked me over," Rodney said, embellishing once again. "What'd you girls talk about that had her so distracted?"

"Geez … she barely touched you McKay," Shep growled. "Enough already."

"Actually, I think I pretty much dominated the conversation," Katie confessed. "Mostly girl talk."

"So … you talked about guys," he teased.

"Why do men always think it's about them?"

"Okay … then what did you talk about?" he asked smugly.

"Well … like I said, mostly about me," she said hesitantly.

"You and me? Cause then it'd be about men and I win," he pointed out confidently.

"It's not a contest, Rodney … remember what we talked about," she whispered.

"Yes, yes … but still, I think you'd have to agree."

"Yes Rodney … you win," she huffed, working hard to overlook his annoying habit of always wanting to be right. She'd been helping him work on taming his over zealous arrogance and need to always win. "Maybe we'll talk about this later," she suggested. Watching his face fall and seeing the worry marks gather between his eyebrows let her know he was sorry he'd let it go this far.

"Oh," he sighed, digging into his lunch knowing he'd be reminded later of his promise to curb unnecessary remarks.

"We planned to meet again for lunch next week."

"I have not seen Jennifer for some time … it is good to see her spending time outside her lab," Teyla said, hoping her friend was working through the disappointment over Ronon.

"I'm afraid I may have spoken out of turn," Katie confessed to Teyla.

"I am sorry, I am not familiar with this expression."

"Blunder … put your foot in your mouth … screw up," Sheppard rattled off.

"Yes, well… I am sure it is not as bad as you think," Teyla offered seeing the distress in Katie's face.

"I asked her if she was dating anyone … she quickly assured me that she wasn't but I told her I thought she was seeing Ronon and this seemed to disturb her a bit."

"Why would you think that?" Ronon asked.

"I told Katie I thought you were," Rodney said jumping into the discussion.

"Why McKay?"

"Oh … I don't know … maybe because you issued the hands off warning and a while back you guys were always together," Rodney said defending himself.

"And you can't seem to take your eyes off her when she's around," Sheppard added, loving that it was Ronon on the hot seat for once and not him.

"You all thought wrong," Ronon growled, gulping down the last of his drink.

"I always thought she chose you," Rodney added.

"Chose him for what?" John inquired. "What's going on? I thought you were seeing Amelia?"

"Nothing's going on. I'm not seeing anyone," he growled picking up his tray.

"Hey … wait a minute," Rodney declared. "You said you were interested in Jennifer."

"Well, I'm not," he stated before leaving the room.

~OOO~

Once the vacuuming was done, Jennifer sat on the edge of her bed going over the highlights of her lunch with Dr. Brown. She didn't have many friends in the city and her friendship with Teyla got put on hold once her difficulties with Ronon began. It was nice to sit and visit with another woman especially one who'd gone through a troubling time yet ended up happy. She couldn't imagine herself happy at this point in her life.

"_Snap out of it_," Jen admonished herself. She'd spent enough time on her own created soap opera for one day. Moving over to her closet she began to pull everything out sorting it into different piles. She hadn't brought much clothing or personal items with her but was amazed at how much she'd accumulated in the past several years. "_Too bad we don't have garage sales in Atlantis,"_ she thought. Reaching to the far back corner she grabbed a large plastic container tugging it out into the light. Pulling the top off revealed several tall stacks of heavy fleece fabric.

The doctor smiled at the treasure sitting in front of her. She'd enlisted Laura's help to purchase and transport the fabric to her a couple of years ago. Once it arrived she stowed it in the back of her closet and promptly forgot about it. Sorting through all the beautiful colors and patterns brought back memories of charity work she'd done at the local hospital during her high school years. Chippewa General Hospital enlisted volunteers in the community to make simple fleece blankets that they'd distribute to children who were admitted to the facility. Jennifer thought it would be a wonderful way to ease the fears of sick children on other planets plus they were simple to make.

Pulling all the fabric from the tub she placed it on the floor in different color groups. At the bottom of the container she found a smaller box of sewing supplies … scissors, tape measure, pins and pinking shears. As she surveyed all her treasures spread out before her she realized this was the perfect distraction she needed right now. After she put all her belongings back in the closet she set about to make as many blankets as she could until bedtime.

~OOO~

Ronon walked straight from the mess hall to the training room. He was restless … disturbed by the conversation at the lunch table. Why would anyone think he was dating Jennifer? It wasn't like he hadn't thought about her … a lot … especially late at night when he couldn't sleep. He missed her friendship.

He spent the rest of the afternoon in various training sessions with base personnel before breaking for dinner. Thankfully, McKay didn't show up so the conversation ended up centering around the next day's mission rather than his love life. After dinner he arranged to have a late sparring session with Teyla hopefully wearing him out enough to get some sleep.

~OOO~

Jennifer took a break after finishing her fourth blanket and plugged in her electric teakettle. Rummaging around in her bedside table she found a couple of power bars to round out her dinner. She planned on grabbing a late supper once the evening crowd had thinned out.

After opening the second power bar her radio came to life calling her to the infirmary. Dr. Taylor called in sick so she needed to find someone to fill the post. Jen thought about it for a moment before informing Marie that she'd take the shift and be there shortly. Grabbing a cloth tote bag she shoved several cut blankets into the sack to take with her then quickly changed into her uniform and headed out the door. If things were slow later she planned on working on her project for a while.

~OOO~

Ronon walked into the sparring room and found Teyla stretching out on the mat. Crossing the room he lowered himself to the floor and joined her in stretches.

"You seemed uncomfortable today with Rodney's questions," Teyla began, hoping to get Ronon talking. "Are you still seeing Amelia?"

"No … we train together, that's all." From the look on Teyla's face he knew she wasn't buying his description of their relationship. "She was safe," he confessed.

"I believe you and Dr. Keller would make a good couple," she suggested, knowing subtlety wouldn't work on her teammate.

"She deserves better," he pointed out.

"She deserves to be happy … you make her happy," she pointed out, reaching over to squeeze his hand.

"Too much has happened in my life… most of it bad."

"Melena was not bad and you loved each other even through the bad times," she said, reminding him of things he'd shared with her about his life on Sateda.

"I can't let her go," he hissed, holding on to the anger. "She was the only good thing in my life."

"Would she not want you to be happy … you deserve to find someone to spend your life with," Teyla knew their conversation was over the minute she saw the tears fill his eyes.

"Are you ready?" Ronon asked, extending his had to help her up.

"Yes," she smiled, patting his shoulder affectionately as they took their places in the center of the mat.

The two friends jabbed and parried for a good twenty minutes before Ronon began thinking about the things Teyla had said. Every time he thought about letting someone back into his life he'd let his guard down and Teyla would quickly bring his thoughts back to the present with a jab to the head or rap on the arm with her sparring rod.

In the next twenty minutes he endured several more bouts of his mind drifting before Teyla got in a hefty jab splitting open a two inch gap on his forehead.

"You will need stitches," Teyla announced after wiping the blood away. "I'll walk with you."

Teyla walked beside Ronon as they wound their way through the corridors toward the infirmary. She could tell that her teammate was distracted and hoped he was considering the things she'd talked about. Nearing the entrance she could see Dr. Keller toward the back of the clinic working on something.

"Please consider the things we talked about," Teyla asked, turning to take her leave. "She cares about you Ronon," she reminded him.

~OOO~

Jennifer looked up to see Ronon crossing the room toward her workstation holding a towel to his forehead. She'd had a pretty quiet night so far but could see things were about to change.

"Hey," he said as he walked up. "I may need stitches."

"Come take a seat," she instructed, pointing to the nearest bed. "What happened?"

"Sparring with Teyla … wasn't paying enough attention," he growled at the memory.

"Looks like you're right … it will need a few stitches. Why don't you lie down while I get a suture tray."

"How've you been? I haven't seen you much," he asked for lack of anything else to say.

"I'm fine … keeping busy," she replied thinking about all they'd been through together.

"No one's bothered you … remember, you promised to come to me if you needed anything," he reminded her.

"No worries… it's kind of like that "hands off" rule is still in effect," she smirked knowingly, causing her patient even more discomfort.

Jennifer applied a bandage to the wound then stepped aside giving him room to move off the bed. Seeing that they were pretty much alone in her area of the infirmary Jen decided it was time to get some things off her chest.

"Ronon … I'm sorry for the ways things turned out between us," she confessed.

"It wasn't your fault," he grumbled.

"I'm not talking about what was said or the actions that were taken … I'm just saying I'm distressed that everything turned out the way it did," she explained sadly.

"I shouldn't have played with McKay that way," he admitted.

"Indeed. It would have been much easier to admire you from afar," she agreed sarcastically. "But I acted like a silly school girl and jumped in with both feet. If I'd have thought about it more carefully I'd have known you were only playing a silly game."

"How?" he asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"For one … I'm not your type. I'm not a warrior, I'm not very aggressive, and usually I'm not very brave. I should have taken those things into account, instead I walked into it with my eyes closed and did a lot of assuming."

"Then why would you want to be with me if I'm so different from you?" he wanted to know.

Jennifer thought for a moment then reached over placing her hand on his chest, "You have a kind heart, you're loyal, but most of all you're very protective of the people you care about and very possessive of the ones you love," she explained, feeling her eyes well with tears as she thought of the relationship he shared with his teammates. "Of course that sexy swagger you possess doesn't hurt at all either," she chuckled.

Ronon stood watching her … moved by the way she'd described his qualities. He knew he'd walked into this mess with his eyes closed too or he'd have recognized what a perfect woman she was then, instead of now when it was too late.

"I really want our friendship back, Ronon. I know I went nuts there for a while and to be honest, I'm still not over you completely, but I want a fresh start," she proposed. "Deal?" she asked, hopefully

"Deal … but … I want a kiss," he stated, watching her reaction.

Jennifer was mortified. Standing with her mouth hanging open she could feel her face burn with embarrassment.

"Is that a deal breaker?" he asked, trying his hardest to keep a straight face.

"No, no … it's just … well, we just agreed … you know… to … ahhh … do you think that's a good idea?" she stammered, panicking. She'd just worked through their awkward situation and now he wanted to kiss her … _isn't that what ruined everything before?_ … she thought to herself.

Pulling herself together she stood in front of him taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, "Actually, I don't think we should … you know…" she began, determined to be strong. Gathering her thoughts she looked up to see a small smirk and a twinkle in his eyes stopping her short. "You're messing with me aren't you," she accused. Seeing him break into a killer grin Jen moved closer smacking him hard in the shoulder. "Arrrgh, you seem really happy with yourself!" she growled playfully.

"Come here," he urged, pulling her into his arms.

"I've missed you," she whispered as he held her close.

"Me too," he agreed.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much to those of you who are reading and especially those who are reviewing. Your input is encouraging and very much appreciated. Hope to have the next chapter up soon.<em>


	7. Chapter 7

_A big "Thank You" to all of you who have been reading this story. It started off as a short two-chapter project but has grown into something a bit bigger. I appreciate all your comments and input … it is all very encouraging. _

_Hope you enjoy this new chapter and, as always, thank you Bailey for your help and advice._

* * *

><p>Chapter 7<p>

It'd been a long day … the Daedalus was docked, new recruits processed and supplies off loaded. Jennifer Keller wondered if she was just getting old or if the stress and demands were becoming too much for her. She was rapidly approaching her thirtieth birthday and some days she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was having a hard time finding ways to release the stress and sadness that came with the job … running wasn't cutting it anymore. Conversation and companionship around the dining table had always been a comfort but she'd slowly found herself once again avoiding the mess hall and taking her meals in her office or not at all.

Jennifer and Ronon had tried to make a fresh start with their friendship but soon found it was impossible to recapture the easy bond they'd once shared. Sheppard had approved adding kickboxing to the advanced training package promoting it amongst the non-military personnel as a means of keeping fit. With Amelia awarded the position of lead instructor she soon became a familiar face around the dining table taking her place beside Ronon with a certain air of familiarity. Jennifer knew Teyla and Ronon were both taking lessons but her jealousy had a mind of it's own which she had very little control over.

No longer feeling comfortable at Sheppard's table Jen chose to sit with Lorne's men the few times she actually sat down for a meal in the mess hall. Her love for Ronon was dying a slow death but waning just the same and unfortunately, taking her with it. She had no desire to date or socialize rather she spent what little free time she had to herself and at this point in her life welcomed the solitude … a well defined stress free zone, or so she thought. What she hadn't bargained for was the absence of anyone to confide in or help her share the emotional burdens that came with life in the Pegasus.

Lorne watched Jennifer as she purposefully walked across the dining hall to collect a bottle of water. Taking in her attire he reasoned she was about to go for a run and knew he'd have a few moments to finish his meal. It was time to check in and see how she was doing.

Jennifer liked to run at night. Most runners on base tended to run in the morning hours but at night she had the city to herself except for the occasional soldier trying to work out the kinks after a long mission off world. The lights from the central tower were always comforting as they sent a soft glow over the path before her. This particular circuit took her about forty minutes to get to her favorite hiding place … the end of the South Pier. Few people ran this route which could probably be seen as a bit dangerous but in all her time on Atlantis she'd never been bothered and craved the solitude over the more traveled East Pier traffic. Arriving at the end of the dock she took a few minutes to cool down before sitting to enjoy her bottle of water.

Hearing Evan's footsteps coming up behind her she smiled into the night bracing herself for his third degree.

"Don't move," he growled, disguising his voice as he held her shoulders firmly in place.

"Hey Ev … how was your week?"

"How'd you know it was me? I could have been a mugger out here to have my way with you," he mumbled, wishing just once she'd take him seriously and stop running alone late at night.

"_Have your way with me_? You sound like someone's grandfather," she chuckled. "Besides, I saw you checking me out when I came in the mess hall … knew it'd just be a matter of time."

"Heard you had a rough week," he said taking a seat beside her on the dock.

"Yeah … maybe a little rougher than usual," she sighed, feeling a bit vulnerable. "Did you know those men?"

"Not personally. I had Sergeant McVee in my training class last spring when he arrived but never met Dr. Wyrick."

"They seemed so young," she whispered mostly to herself.

"Woolsey said they were ambushed at the gate … not much anyone could have done about it. McVee was part of Conrade's team and assigned to protect the gate. Murphy's team had just made it back from scouting out some ruins about three clicks up the trail when the firefight broke out," he explained, knowing she'd want to know the circumstances.

"The Sergeant was pretty much gone by the time we got to him but I thought I could have saved the scientist," Jen choked out, her voice catching on the last few words.

"Come here," Evan said reaching for her in the dark. Once she'd closed the gap he put his arm around her pulling her close.

"I lost one of my nurses today … the week was just too much for her and she'll be returning on the Daedalus."

"Did she have a hard time with the deaths?"

"That and this was her first time dealing with all the chaos of new arrivals … I think she bit off more than she could chew coming to the Pegasus. Treating those who work in the Milky Way program is a lot different than living it 24/7… I recommended she continue to work with the program only limit her to Cheyenne Mountain."

"Will this leave you short handed?" he asked, putting his jacket around her shoulders for warmth.

"Major Lorne … this is Ronon, please respond."

"This is Lorne … go ahead."

"You with Doc?" the Satedan asked.

"Yes."

"She okay?"

"Yes," he answered assuredly.

"Dex out."

"Everything okay … do you need to leave?" she asked concerned.

"No." Evan sat weighting the pros and cons of telling her the truth. He'd seen Jen and Ronon drift further and further apart over the past weeks and knew she'd take that as a lack of interest on his part but thought she should know he still cared. Throwing caution to the wind he plowed ahead, "It was Ronon."

"Is he okay?" she asked alarmed.

"He probably saw you enter the dining room too … he was checking to see if I was with you and make sure you were okay."

"Does he do that often?"

"Sometimes … when he's worried."

"Why?" she asked, confused as to why it was any of his business.

"He cares about you Shortstuff," he quietly answered, tugging playfully on her ponytail.

Jennifer didn't know exactly how she felt about that. Leaning in closer to the comfort of Evan's side, she quietly contemplated all the reasons why Ronon would want to keep tabs on her. After a while she finally came to the same conclusion … he cared about her. For some reason it didn't feel very comforting.

"You meeting Laura later?"

"Yeah … we're meeting in the rec room after her shift."

"I almost forgot about that … the welcome mixer for the new recruits," she sighed.

"I want you to come hang out with me till she gets there," he stated firmly. "There's going to be karaoke," he laughed teasingly.

"I was thinking about it until you mentioned that," she snickered.

"No you weren't … but I insist. We'll get a few beers in Laura and hand her a mic," he grinned thinking about the last time they'd attended an Atlantis social function.

"No, no, no… she dragged me on stage to sing back up … I can't remember a time when I've been more embarrassed," she blushed just thinking about the incident. "I'll come keep you company but if she starts looking over the play list I'm leaving."

"Deal."

~OOO~

Lorne and Jennifer arrived at the Welcome Reception to a crowded room filled will over enthusiastic new recruits. Walking through the crowd Evan grabbed a couple of beers on their way across the room to the table Rivers was saving for the team. After taking seats they were soon joined by Meyers and Lieutenant Smith.

"Lieutenant Cadman just showed up looking for you two," Smith announced. "She went to get a drink."

"I'll go find her," Jennifer offered, heading toward the makeshift bar setup at the back of the room.

Jennifer stood a few steps back from the bar scanning the area for her best friend. Concentrating solely on the task at hand she was totally unaware of the predator slowly moving up behind her. Without any notice Jennifer felt her knees buckle and her body moving toward the floor then suddenly she was yanked upward by her collar to a standing position once again.

"Laura," Jen growled, whirling around to face her friend. "Will you ever tire of the grade school pranks?"

"Not when you fall for them every time," she chuckled as the two embraced.

"How was your trip?" Jen asked as they placed their order.

"Too many men who think there're invincible."

"So normal," Jen laughed.

"It's a good thing Hermoid implemented upgrades to cut our travel time down or I'd have been forced to pull out my explosives bag," she grumbled. "I'm beginning to think that idleness amongst our men produces an over abundance of testosterone," Laura snorted.

"Maybe they just think you're pretty," Jen laughed.

"Be careful or I'll tell them you're available," she teased.

"Just what I need … and I'm so good with relationships," she snarled sarcastically.

"So … how are things with Mr. Bonbon?"

"A talk we can save for another time… it's been a rough week."

Laura backed off after seeing the hurt in Jen's eyes figuring she'd ask Evan about it later. "Come on … I told the new guys I'd introduce you around," she teased, pulling Jen through the crowd.

~OOO~

Ronon sat with Sheppard a few tables over from Lorne's surveying the room, sizing up the new recruits. Each group usually averaged three to four hot heads they needed to keep an eye on. He nudged Sheppard who'd been writing names in his pocket notebook and nodded toward a far table where two of the men they'd been watching were engaged in a heated argument with several geologists.

"Time for a little pre-emptive intervention … Dr. Ryan will tear their heads off," Sheppard sighed. "Just once I'd like to make it all the way through one of these shindigs without a problem," he grumbled moving across the room.

~OOO~

Jennifer watched as Lorne's teammates scattered around the room hitting on some of the fairer personnel, "Why don't you two go for a walk or make-out in the hallway or something … you don't need to babysit me all night," Jennifer grumbled, catching Evan and Laura making goo-goo eyes at each other.

"Not yet … sing one song with me first?" Laura asked, pleadingly.

"Not gonna happen," Jen smirked.

"Alright, that leaves you my sweet," Laura said batting her eyelashes.

"How many of those have you had?" he asked pointing to her empty glass.

"Seriously … I've been stuck on a boat for two weeks with a bunch of hormonal G.I. Joes … I think I deserve a few of these."

"Okay … one more drink … one song … then we're calling it a night," he agreed. Leaning down to whisper in her ear, "Then I'll show you my G.I. Joe moves."

"Maybe we should skip the song?" Laura suggested wiggling her eyebrows.

"Hummm, very tempting but Jen needs cheering up so lets go pick a song for you."

"How bout something upbeat," Jen suggested.

Jennifer grinned all the way through Laura's rendition of YMCA complete with hand motions. By the time she hit the first chorus she had the whole room on their feet singing along. Toward the end of the song a man sat down next to her with drinks and a smile introducing himself as one of the new recruits in the science department. After a few minutes of small talk she excused herself for the evening.

"That was wonderful," Jen giggled catching Evan and Laura at the bar, "and well worth the wait."

As Jennifer was saying goodnight Lorne's radio went off calling him to the conference room. Looking around Jennifer noticed Sheppard's team heading through the exit as well. Just as Ronon went through the door he did one final scan of the room to see where Jennifer was making sure no one was bothering her. Seeing her with Laura eased his anxiety.

"I'm heading to my room … I'll see you when you get home," she smiled giving Laura a hug.

"I'll come too," Laura suggested.

"No … you stay and relax. I'll probably go by the infirmary first so you won't be far behind me."

Jennifer left the room to the sound of Major Teldy belting out I Am Woman to a cheering audience. She was smiling all the way to the transporter at the memory thinking it'd been a good evening.

As she swiped then entered the transporter she heard someone yell to hold the elevator just before he slipped through the doors.

"That was close … thanks, I'm afraid I'm not very good at getting around yet. Perhaps you can point me in the right direction," the scientist asked.

"I don't think I caught your name," Jennifer said as they exited together.

"I'm sorry … I'm Dr. Hollings, I just got here today. Sorry if I seemed a bit forward at the welcome party. I haven't met many people yet … just thought we might talk," he explained, smiling.

"No problem … I'm Dr. Keller," she said feeling a bit uneasy. "If you take this corridor to the end and then turn right you'll find another transporter and it should take you to the section that houses the science staff."

~OOO~

"Thank you all for coming on such short notice," Woolsey said to the assembled teams. "I'm afraid in my hast I failed to contact Dr. Keller and I need her in this briefing as well."

"I'll get her," Ronon volunteered.

Leaving the conference room he headed toward the rec hall where he last saw Jennifer.

~OOO~

"Well, Dr. Hollings, it was nice to meet you and welcome to Atlantis," Jennifer said hoping to be rid of the man.

"It's been all my pleasure," he smiled, a bit too friendly. "Tell you what … why don't we go to your room for a little night cap … a toast to this new adventure and new friends," he suggested.

"Maybe another time … I think it would be a good idea for you to sleep off the celebrating you've been doing all night."

"Are you suggesting I've had too much to drink," he spat out angrily.

"Dr. Keller … this is Ronon … please respond."

"This is Dr. Keller," she said sighing with relief.

"Where are you?" he asked as he left the welcome party.

"I'm on my way to the infirmary … I'll wait for you there," she replied hoping he would understand.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm afraid I need to take you up on that offer."

"I'm on my way," he said racing toward the transporter.

"So … what about that drink," Hollings insisted, taking hold of her arm.

"Doctor, I'm afraid I'm needed in the infirmary. I'm sure you have orientation tomorrow so you should get some rest."

"REST … I've been resting for two weeks. I'd rather get to know you better," he said moving into her personal space.

Looking beyond the scientist's shoulder Jennifer could see Ronon approaching rapidly. She'd seen that look before and knew things were about to fall apart. "Dr. Hollings, I'd like to introduce Ronon Dex … he's a member of our military," she began hoping to defuse the situation and send the man on his way.

Unfortunately the man had no intention of losing the opportunity to score points with the pretty young doctor and stood his ground. Before he had time to figure out his next move, Ronon was squeezing his hand and removing it from Jennifer's arm. "Oow! You're breaking my fingers," he yelled stepping back.

"I think you should find your quarters and get some sleep," Jennifer suggested.

"You should have told me you had a boyfriend," he growled rubbing his hand as he left to find the transporter.

"Are you okay," Ronon asked, pulling her into his arms.

She took a few minutes to relax in his embrace and gather her thoughts, "I'm fine … he was lonely and did a little too much celebrating. Hopefully he won't even remember in the morning."

"I'll remember," he hissed.

"Thank you for coming to my rescue … again."

"Anytime," he assured, taking her hands. "Are you sure you're okay," he asked feeling her hands tremble.

"It's been a long day. Would you mind walking me home?"

"Mr. Woolsey needs you in the conference room … that's why I was looking for you. Come on," he said turning her toward the control center. As they made their way through the corridors he continued to hold her hand enjoying the brief feeling of intimacy vowing to himself to keep an eye on Dr. Hollings in the days to come.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Ronon and Jennifer entered the conference room right behind Harris' team of combat engineers quickly filling the remaining seats with the overflow leaning against the walls. Whatever was happening was big to call in this many personnel for one mission.

"Let's quiet down people," Woolsey announced once the doors closed. "Earlier this evening the people of Reila, M23-667, contacted us with the news that their planet had sustained enormous damage from ground shakes and are seeking our help."

"Ground shakes?" Sheppard asked. "Are we talking earthquake?"

"It would seem that over half their structures were destroyed so I would assume it was probably a major earthquake. They have asked for medical assistance and help with digging for survivors."

"Wait a minute … is that the planet with the orphanage?" Jennifer asked holding her breath for an answer.

"Yes, Dr. Keller … I'm sorry, the orphanage didn't make it," he said solemnly.

"That's where we'll start our search for survivors," Harris promised, nodding at the doctor.

"I'm afraid that's all the information I have available at this time. I'll turn the planning session over to Colonel Sheppard and suggest you leave as soon as possible." Having finished his portion of the briefing Mr. Woolsey left the conference room in Sheppard's capable hands. Moving down to the control room he instructed Amelia to contact Reila assuring them that Atlantis would be sending help through the gate.

Sheppard skimmed back over the scribbled notes he'd been taking and began giving orders, "We'll be taking three jumpers … Harris, you'll carry all the equipment we'll need to locate and extract survivors … I'll transport the supplies we'll need to maintain our people plus whatever the Reila people need … Lorne, you'll take the third jumper with Dr. Keller, her staff and supplies," Sheppard ordered, receiving nods of agreement around the table. "We'll also take two more teams to help where needed and they can follow on foot."

"McKay, round up as many Life Signs Detectors as you have available without shorting the city. It'll make it much easier locating survivors."

"Once we have a better look at the damage we can make adjustments. Lorne, I'll put your team in charge of staking out a site for our field hospital and something close by where we can house our personnel … let me know if we need tents. Doc, how long do you need to prep?"

"I think we can be packed and ready in an hour," she said jotting down notes as fast as she could. "I could use some help getting the supply totes to the jumper bay."

"I'll help," Ronon volunteered.

"Take Smith with you," Sheppard added. "I'll notify the kitchen … once you're done with Doc's supplies swing by the mess and load their emergency totes in my jumper."

"Okay boys and girls … let's hustle … we'll meet in the jumper bay at 0100 hours," the Colonel urged.

Lorne walked with his CO out of the room taking further instruction as they went.

"Which teams do you think were the least inebriated?" Sheppard asked as they made their way out the doors.

"Teldy was enjoying the evening but her team looked pretty alert … she's a good leader, I'm not worried about her. Thompson's team was wasted … I'd put him on standby."

"What about Konners … I don't remember seeing his team at the party," Sheppard stated.

"They returned late from a mission … probably weren't there yet when we left," Lorne explained.

"Have Teldy and Konners report to the gate room at 0100 hours as well. Once they've secured the gate we'll follow them through."

Lorne immediately contacted the other teams while heading toward the transporter hoping to give them sufficient time to gather their personal items and gear up while Sheppard turned toward the mess hall.

"I was wondering," Rodney began after catching up with Sheppard in the hallway, "since you're in charge of the supplies could you stock extra apple flavored power bars? I'm not fond of the strawberry and they rarely have the berry and since we'll be working round the clock it just stands to reason that we should stock an abundance of food we can grab on the run."

"I'll take that under advisement," he said, rolling his eyes and picking up the pace.

"It's not for me … well, actually it is for me too but we're bound to be busy and statically speaking, everyone will work much more efficiently if we can maintain proper blood sugar levels," Rodney rambled on too fast for Sheppard to follow everything he was saying but then John had stopped listening shortly after his comments about the different flavors of power bars.

"Yes, yes, Rodney … I'll have them throw in extra power bars." John stopped short in the hallway and turned on Rodney bringing the scientist to a sudden halt, "Aren't you supposed to be getting ready?"

"Oh …," McKay mumbled under his breath turning to hurry back the way he's come.

Jennifer decided to take Sara, Darla and two techs with her leaving Marie and Dr. Cole to manage the Atlantis infirmary and the remaining medical staff. Once Dr. Billings returned from his off world mission he could free Dr. Cole to join her if needed. As Jennifer began loading the equipment into the large totes Ronon and Lieutenant Smith showed up to help. Before sealing the containers she added the little cuddle blankets she'd been making hoping they might help ease the fears of the children. She'd give anything to have a trunk full of stuffed animals for this mission but her handiwork would have to do.

~OOO~

Reila was an agrarian community producing acres of tava beans and some kind of Pegasus grain. It was one of the most beautiful planets Jennifer had ever seen nestled in a valley between two rivers surrounded by mountains. The people were kind and giving going so far as to establish a home for orphans abandoned throughout the galaxy. I'd been a couple of years since she'd accompanied Dr. Beckett to the planet to help with a clinic for the community including the children living at the home. Jen had fallen instantly in love with the children hoping to return some day to spend more time with the kids and the community. Now the village lay in ruins… chaos and shock gripping the settlement. Thankfully, the mere presence of Atlantis' personnel seemed to bring a certain amount of calm to the situation.

Upon arriving, Major Lorne's team immediately commandeered the two largest structures in the town square to be used for the hospital and barracks. The villagers helped outfit both buildings using whatever they could salvage from their own planet with Atlantis filling in the gaps. Soon they had a fully equipped field hospital and a housing unit for the Lanteans.

The powerful earthquake had devastated the farming community and they were still pulling victims from the rubble. For every soul pulled alive from a collapsed barn or flattened meeting hall there were two others who quietly slipped away in the middle of the night from their injuries despite all the efforts of Atlantis' medical team. As if the natural disaster wasn't bad enough, yesterday the rain started falling in sheets with no sign of letting up anytime soon.

The bunkhouse was equipped with an odd assortment of beds and cots, enough for each member of the expedition involved with the relief effort. At the last minute, Sheppard had recruited a couple of the kitchen staff to the mission. They were given a smaller room just inside the door to the barracks to use as a kitchen. Night three was fast approaching and Jennifer had yet to cross the threshold or find her duffle with clean clothes. Living on coffee and catnaps she was quickly approaching her limit.

Day three had produced a steady flow of newly rescued victims to the infirmary, most of them being adults. True to his word, Major Harris had concentrated his rescue efforts on the orphanage and the forty-three missing children as soon as they'd arrived on the planet. In the first day they found over half of the children with most of them being in pretty good shape. Of the thirty pulled from the rubble only seven were found dead. Jennifer knew as the days progressed the mortality rate would rise.

On the first day a seven-year-old boy was brought into the infirmary barely breathing. Jennifer quickly started an IV and got him under the scanner. He was the first one into surgery that day and his chances of survival were very slim. She'd spent both nights at his bedside willing him to hang on but as the moon rose over Reila on the third night the little one slip away.

After pulling the monitor from her latest victim, Jennifer tucked the cuddle blanket next to his body so it touched his face then retreated to the back of the room. Between the stacked cases of medical equipment and the totes of drugs and supplies she found a small patch of floor she claimed as her own. The rest of her staff was quietly working around the large room checking monitors and charting information. Taking a few moments for herself she sat resting her head on her knees trying to find some relief from all the sorrow. She needed to cry, needed to release this anguish and grief.

Sheppard made his nightly rounds of the compound ending with the infirmary. Walking in he surveyed the room looking for Dr. Keller for a nightly report. Not seeing her on the floor he assumed she'd finally gone to get some sleep until Darla nodded toward the back of the room.

Jennifer was beyond tired. She couldn't remember how long it'd been since she'd had a meal or taken more than a fifteen-minute nap. More than the physical discomfort she was completely spent emotionally. She needed a hug … a touch … a connection with a living human being. Instead she felt herself drifting further and further away from reality … hiding from all the loss.

Sheppard located her at the back of the building sitting on the floor. Approaching, he tried to remember if he'd seen her leave the infirmary since they'd arrived or taken time to eat something other than power bars. Coming up empty he made a quick decision, "Lieutenant Smith… this is Sheppard … please respond."

"This is Smith."

"Lieutenant, please report to the infirmary."

Crouching down in front of Jennifer he gently shook her knee, "Doc … you awake? Time to get some shut-eye."

Sheppard watched her slowly raise her head finding the look in her eyes disturbing. She looked haggard …haunted. It was time to get Atlantis' CMO out of the building.

"Lieutenant, please escort Dr. Keller to the barracks and be sure she finds her bunk," Sheppard ordered.

"Yes Sir," Smith acknowledged watching his CO help the doctor to her feet.

"Get some sleep Doc, it'll look better in the morning," he assured her.

Smith led her out the door and into the pouring rain. It'd rained hard for two days before finally slowing down to sprinkles and mist for most of the day. Once the sun went down the torrential downpours had returned… before they'd gone twenty feet they were both soaking wet. He kept urging Jennifer along encouraging her to hurry but it was evident the woman was exhausted so instead he concentrated on keeping her out of the standing pools of water spread between the infirmary and the barracks.

Sheppard stood at the door to the hospital watching the two of them cover the distance to the safety of the bunkhouse knowing Jennifer would be soaked to the bone by the time she arrived.

"Ronon … this is Sheppard … please respond."

"What!" his teammate growled.

"Sorry to wake you buddy … Doc is on her way to the barracks. Can you make sure she gets in okay and finds her bunk?"

Ronon propped himself up on his elbows looking toward the doorway across the room. Seeing Smith guide Jennifer through the maze of beds brought an air of concern to the Satedan. The slump of her shoulders and droop of her head worried him. "I've got her Sheppard," he informed the Colonel putting the man's worries to rest.

Lieutenant Smith used his flashlight to move around the room doing his best not to disturb those who were sleeping. The crews were still working round the clock split into several different shifts. The night crews left the bunkhouse about half full as Jennifer followed Smith through the aisles in search of her bed. As they neared the back corner Sara waved catching the Lieutenant's attention then pointing to the empty bed several over from her own.

Ronon met Smith as he eased Jennifer to the edge of her bed. Quickly dismissing the Lieutenant, he rummaged around finding her duffle bag before taking a seat next to the exhausted doctor. "Hey Doc, you okay," he asked hoping to get Jennifer to talk to him.

Jen felt like she was sleepwalking, caught in some cheesy B-rated disaster film. She'd been at this for too long … too many hours… too many deaths. Looking up at the sound of Ronon's voice she took a deep breath and melted into his side, taking comfort in his warmth.

Ronon pulled her close holding her for a few moments, "Jennifer, you're soaking wet … you need to get into some dry clothes." Moving her back into a sitting position he took her duffle looking for a towel and clean clothes. Drying what he could with the towel he began awkwardly undoing the buttons on her uniform watching as Sara walked up seating herself on the other side of her boss.

"Why don't you let me help," she offered making eye contact with Ronon.

Hesitating protectively, he surrendered Jennifer to the nurse's care. Standing and turning his back he allowed the woman to help but kept close just the same.

"Dr. Keller, let me help you get into some dry clothes," Sara encouraged softly.

"Sara?" Jennifer questioned, looking at her friend as she helped her out of her uniform. "Why is it so cold?"

"You got wet walking over here," she explained. "I know you're tired but is everything okay?"

"It's been a tough day," she said working hard to keep the tears back. "I lost the little boy from the orphanage tonight. I failed him."

"It was a miracle he made it through the first night … you did more than anyone could have," Sara reminded her as she finished dressing her, moving on to towel the excess water from her hair.

"Thank you," Jennifer whispered squeezing Sara's hand.

Turning back around Ronon frowned at the defeated look on Jennifer's face. She looked spent. He couldn't leave her like this.

"I have an extra blanket on my bed," Sara suggested.

"I've got her," Ronon declared, moving to help her up.

Jennifer took his hand surrendering herself to his care. After standing she stepped closer into his space resting her head on his chest and the tears began to flow. She'd tried to keep her distance for so long and knew this could be a mistake but right now she needed Ronon and nothing could replace that not even an extra blanket.

Ronon watched Sara fuss with the bedroll preparing it for Jen when he shook his head to stop her. "Thanks for the help," he stated, dismissing her gently.

Ronon rubbed Jen's back whispering soothing assurances that everything would be okay. Sheppard's team had rescued the little boy their first day on Reila barely holding onto life. Watching her care for the young boy the past few days he knew she was totally invested and worried she'd have her heart broken.

Ronon picked Jen up and carried her to his area setting her gently on one side of his bed. Once settled, he watched her immediately curl up on her side as he tucked her in. Moving around to the other side of the bed he laid on his back staring at the ceiling. He thought he'd made good progress toward re-establishing a purely sociable relationship but when push came to shove he wanted more but wasn't willing to change his life to accommodate anything other than friendship with the beautiful doctor.

Ronon reached over putting a hand on Jennifer's arm… she was still extremely cold and trembling slightly. Rolling onto his side he tucked her up against him wrapping his arms around her for the added warmth. "Try to get some sleep, Doc."

"Thank you Ronon," she whispered, sniffling. "I'm sorry to crowd you out of your bed."

"You'll warm up faster this way… I'm sorry about the boy," he offered, sincerely.

"I think his name was Elten … I met him the first time I was here with Carson, she cried. "I was so hopeful I could save him."

"You've done good, Doc. You've helped a lot of people."

"But I couldn't save Elten," she sobbed.

"He didn't die alone … you stayed with him," he reminded her. "Get some sleep Jennifer … it'll be better in the morning," he promised, tucking her closer as she drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Dr. Keller felt disoriented as she awoke to a room full of sunshine and the smell of coffee in the distance. Rolling onto her back she pushed her hair out of her face taking in her surroundings as recognition flooded in. Bit by bit she quickly remembered the events of the past few days. Holding onto Ronon's promise that today would be better, she sat up swinging her feet to the floor as she sat on the side of the bed.

She'd slept without interruption never stirring when Ronon left her side. She'd needed him last night but now worried that he'd think less of her for such an unstable melt down. Pushing her doubts aside, Jennifer moved to her own bed then on to the changing room after finding a clean uniform in her duffle bag. Once cleaned up and ready for the day, she stopped in the kitchen for a ten-minute breakfast before hurrying out the door for the infirmary.

"Jennifer," Dr. Cole greeted as her colleague entered the hospital, "how are you feeling today?"

"Much better … when did you get here?"

"Colonel Sheppard radioed in this morning for an extra doctor," Amanda explained, unaware of her boss' recent instability.

"I'm sorry you had to pick up the slack," Jen sighed.

"I was planning on relieving you this morning anyway if you needed me… Dr. Billings returned yesterday so it all worked out. I can't believe how long you went before sleeping," Cole chuckled. "I'm sure that was some kind of record."

"It's not something I'd recommend for anyone," Jen frowned.

The local healer and her helpers were busy taking vitals and changing dressings giving Jennifer time to bring Dr. Cole up to speed and work out some schedules. She'd always enjoyed working with Amanda, trusting her implicitly. If time permitted she might even open up to the doctor on a personal level and share with her some of the trauma she went through the first few days … again, time permitting. Jennifer wasn't one to cry on her coworker's shoulders but she knew Amanda would be a sympathetic ear. Even so, Jen doubted she'd burden the doctor with her insecurities.

The number of rescued villagers was beginning to slow although they were still busy in the infirmary from dusk to dawn. As the numbers dwindled Jennifer knew at some point they'd move from a rescue mission to a recovery mission and she wasn't ready to accept that just yet. Late in the afternoon she watched Ronon enter the infirmary searching the room till he made eye contact with her then nodded toward the door.

Jennifer excused herself from the conversation she was having with a patient to join Ronon on the front porch.

"Hey," he greeted, looking her over for any sign of worry. "You sleep okay?"

"Yes … thanks for taking care of me," she whispered shyly. "Seems like you've come to my rescue a lot lately."

"I don't mind," he declared, wanting nothing more than to always take care of her. "We're going to some farms to check on people and probably won't be back til tomorrow… use my bed tonight."

"I have a bed Ronon … if you come home early I'd just be crowding you," she said guiltily. The thought of telling him she didn't want to share his bed seemed absurd when that's all she'd wanted to do for months. _Different time, different circumstances_, she thought to herself.

"Sleep in my bed tonight," he repeated sternly. The thought of her sleeping in a thin bedroll was totally unacceptable. He liked the idea of her waiting for him nestled down beneath the fur blankets he'd brought with him … the vision was comforting to him.

"Thanks," she agreed knowing there'd be no arguing with him. "Be careful," she urged, squeezing his arm affectionately.

"Always." Ronon answered leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

Sara stood in the infirmary feeling guilty spying on her boss and the hunky Satedan. She had a clear line of vision to the couple standing on the porch and their intimate contact warmed her heart. She truly respected and liked her boss and had assumed the rumors about the couple were always just that … rumors. But seeing the protective way he took care of her last night and his show of affection on the porch proved to her that the man did indeed have feelings for Atlantis's CMO and for some reason that made her smile.

Jennifer watched Ronon walk toward his teammates and the comfort of the jumper. It had started raining again adding to the gloom of the day. Her relationship with the quiet warrior seemed to be taking a different direction for her lately. She was finally ready to let go of the infatuation and accept the deeper connection that was growing between them. She trusted Ronon … truly trusted him unconditionally. She accepted her role in his life believing it would never be what she wanted but the bond that was growing between them was stronger than anything she'd ever experienced. She was willing to put the romantic notions aside to keep him in her life. With a heavy sigh she took that little seed of hope that kept sprouting its ugly head and locked it away for another day… another time. Besides, romance was definitely overrated in a galaxy far, far away.

A brief smile of contentment crossed her face as she stepped back into the infirmary to resume her duties.

~OOO~

Jennifer and Amanda worked through the long afternoon before either had time for a break. It'd been a long day for Dr. Cole having arrived in the middle of the night and Jen could see she was exhausted.

"Amanda, why don't you go take a nap? Get in a few hours sleep and you'll feel better… things are pretty quiet in here right now."

"Maybe I should," she sighed. "Then I can work the night shift," the doctor suggested.

"You can use my bed … it's the one in the back furthest from the door. It'd be the neatest one in the room," she laughed, "my bedroll at one end with my duffle next to it. Feel free to use the bedroll and just set my duffle on the ground," Jen instructed.

"Sounds good," she said giving Jennifer a hug then heading for the door.

"Sweet dreams." Jennifer wished.

The young doctor took the next hour to be sure everything was properly recorded on patient charts then sat for a few minutes drinking a cup of tea with Darla. Before long it was dinner time for the patients and the local volunteers brought in the evening meal staying to help with those patients who were able to eat a solid meal. It'd been five days since the initial quake and several of the patients were almost well enough to go home.

~OOO~

Major Lorne and his team spent the day with the local leaders going over plans for a new community hall large enough to house all the homeless until new homes could be built in the spring. Atlantis promised to help with manpower and supplies until they were back on their feet. The farms in the outlying areas still had ample supplies of grain and beans so food wouldn't be much of a problem. Once a plan of action was written down Lorne would present it to Mr. Woolsey and secure the needed approval from the IOA.

Evan stopped by the kitchen grabbing a couple of MREs on his way to check in with the infirmary.

"Hey Sunshine, you look better today," Lorne announced handing Jennifer one of the trays of food.

"What luscious delight are they serving today?" she asked jokingly. "Oooh … raisins," she declared sarcastically. "I'd give a month's pay for an apple!"

"I hear ya. I'm holding out for a thick slice of prime rib," he grinned, "may as well dream big."

"That reminds me of Christmas dinner … my dad and I always made a big roast just for the two of us and we'd eat it all week."

"I'm coming home with you next year for Christmas," Evan laughed.

The two took their meal out on the porch and spent a few precious moments together talking about happier times and making plans for the future once they'd made it through this crisis. Too quickly their time was over and Lorne stood to continue making rounds, securing their perimeter for the night promising to return in a couple of hours to walk Jennifer to the barracks. Evan knew she'd want to work well into the night but he'd promised Ronon he'd be sure she got some sleep while he was gone and he wasn't about to break his word to the big guy.

Jennifer spent some time straightening up the infirmary and collecting the trash before making rounds. Dr. Cole arrived just in time to help tuck everyone in for the night. Working together they released three patients late in the evening to extended family members then readied their beds hopefully for new survivors as the cycle made its first complete revolution. Now that the lights were dim and exhaustion was setting in Jennifer couldn't stop thinking about Elten. _Was he a happy boy … did he like to play ball or sing … did anyone on Reila miss him?_ Before she had time to focus on the heartbreak Evan returned to walk her home.

"Hey … you ready to get some sleep?" Evan quietly asked as he approached her sitting area.

"Sure, is it still raining?" she inquired wistfully putting her thoughts of Elten away for the night.

"Yes … I brought you a coat." Evan put the coat around her shoulders adjusting the hood over her head.

"Isn't this Ronon's coat?"

"He left it for you … if I put you to bed wet he'll have my hide," Lorne snickered.

"You know I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself," she fussed.

"Yeah, but we worry. I think we're better at it than you anyway," he laughed.

"Men," she mumbled under her breath as they trudged across the field of mud. She could take care of herself but Evan was right … they did a much better job of it at times. Had Evan not come by when he did she'd probably be sitting in a pool of sorrow recounting the hard days since they'd arrived on this planet. She didn't have time for the luxury of grieving right now … best saved for another day when there wasn't so much to do.

Arriving at the bunkhouse Jennifer helped Lorne pull the wet coat from her shoulders hanging it on a hook just inside the door. "Let me take that and find a place for it by my bed … I don't want anyone taking it," she suggested.

"Leave it Doc … I doubt anyone is dumb enough to take Ronon's coat," he smirked. "Get some sleep Jen."

"I'm going to grab a cup of hot chocolate to wind down with and then it's straight to bed. Thanks Ev," she whispered giving him a quick hug before heading into the kitchen.

Finishing her drink, Jen made her way through the maze of bunks stopping to grab some lounge pants and a sleep tank on her way to bed. Snuggling deep under the fur blankets she sighed contentedly thankful he'd insisted she sleep in his bed. Rolling on her side she curled into his pillow inhaling his scent. It was a bittersweet moment knowing she wanted so much more from their relationship yet surrendering to what it was … a growing friendship with an amazing man. It wasn't perfect but she'd take it.

~OOO~

It was still dark outside when Jennifer woke up. Padding back from the latrine to her fur-lined sanctuary she burrowed in hoping to retrieve the luxury of sleep. After thirty minutes of restless tossing and turning she finally pulled herself out of bed and dressed for the day. Grabbing a breakfast sandwich and two cups of coffee she donned Ronon's coat and made her way back to the infirmary.

"Good Morning Amanda," Jen greeted quietly, setting the extra coffee on the stack of supply cases next to the chair Amanda occupied. "Where'd we get the rocking chair?"

"Healer Nihra found it in the rubble of her neighbor's house still in one piece. She wanted us to have something nice here in the hospital where we could sit and rest our feet… these people are so gracious and amazing."

"It's been hard seeing what they've gone through and all they've lost … hopefully our presence can make a difference," Jennifer remarked agreeing with her colleague.

Finishing her breakfast, Dr. Keller began moving around the room checking on patients making notes on each ones progress. She'd like to send some of the villagers home as long as they had somewhere to go. They were now in day six and the flow had ebbed considerably. The temporary hospital was still packed to the maximum but the admissions and releases were evening out leaving the staff hopeful.

~OOO~

Sheppard sat drinking a cup of something "_hot_" as he watched the sun peek over the horizon. Their contact with the outlying farms was moving slower than planned but producing good results. John had asked a local farmer, Hobarth, to join them as they carried out their mission knowing the country neighbors would be more receptive to one of their own.

The first two farms they visited were in good shape barely showing any signs of damage. At the third homestead they helped the owner shore up a barn that'd sustained some damage during the severe aftershocks. With the help from several neighboring families the team worked long into the night gladly accepting the offer of lodging once the barn was secured.

Rising early Sheppard sat contemplating the day before him, gladly accepting Hobarth's company as the man took a seat next to him. After exchanging morning salutations they set to work plotting out the day. Once they'd completed their plans the Colonel rounded up the rest of his team for a quick breakfast of power bars and some kind of bread the farmer's wife supplied and they were back in the air. Sheppard hoped to finish and be back in town before the night was over.

~OOO~

Late in the afternoon Lorne and Rivers hurried into the infirmary carrying a young woman and small infant who'd just been unearthed from a pile of rubble at the end of the street. Tests showed the child to be dehydrated but otherwise she was in remarkable condition. The same didn't hold true for the mother … she had a broken leg and was bleeding internally.

Jennifer quickly readied the makeshift operating room while Dr. Cole took care of the baby making sure they hadn't missed anything. As the sun began to set mother and daughter were recovering out on the main floor … the newly saved patients boosted everyone's spirits bringing a smile to Jennifer's face as well. The CMO sent Amanda back to the bunkhouse for some much needed sleep while she helped serve the evening meal.

After dinner five adults were released back to their families then Jen settled into nightly rounds visiting quietly with the remaining patients. There were so many children without a home and Jennifer couldn't help but worry what would happen to them.

"Hey Doc, how're our new patients?" Evan asked as he made his evening rounds.

"Mom and daughter are both doing fine and resting," she beamed nodding across the room. "The rescue lifted everyone spirits."

"It was a miracle we even found them … wouldn't have without the Life Signs Detector. Looks like they were probably running toward the street when a building came down trapping them under a large beam. Thankfully the beam took most of the blows from falling debris."

"The mom had some internal bleeding which we were able to fix and a broken leg. The little girl just needed to be hydrated. It's nice to have good news for a change," she smiled.

"You look tired … did you get any sleep?" Evan asked concerned.

"Woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep … it's been a long day," she sighed. "Hopefully I'll be tired enough to sleep tonight."

"I'll come check on you later," he warned, planning to walk her home himself if she was still in the building.

Jennifer wandered through the room turning out several of the harsh overhead lights as she made her way to the new patients. The woman's vitals were good and her little one was stirring in her arms. The young doctor couldn't help herself and gently picked up the infant rocking her as she swayed to and fro.

"Good evening Jennifer," Dr. Cole whispered. "I can take over for you now … why don't you get some rest?"

"Think I'll rock the baby for a while and let her mom get some extra sleep. I won't stay long," Jen promised moving over toward the rocking chair.

Dr. Cole continued moving through the infirmary picking up dishes and checking on patients. By the time she made it back to Jennifer's corner the doctor and baby were fast asleep. Finding one of Jennifer's cuddle blankets she gently covered the baby and turned out the lamp. She may not be in her bed but Amanda reasoned that at least she was getting some sleep.

~OOO~

It was just after midnight when Sheppard put the jumper down in the clearing next to the DHD. He'd decided to send Teyla home knowing the whole team would probably follow in a few hours once they'd assessed the situation in town. This way she could get home to Torren for what was left of the night. After seeing her safely through the gate he flew toward the bunkhouse parking next to the others. After agreeing to meet late morning the teammates scattered in different directions.

Rodney quickly made his way to the kitchen hoping to convince one of the staff to make him a meal before he settled in his bunk. Sheppard left to find his second in command for a brief report before bed while Ronon went straight to his personal area looking for Jennifer.

Not finding the doctor in his bed, he checked her bunk before heading to the infirmary, "Hey, is Doc here?" he asked awkwardly.

"She's right over there," Dr. Cole smiled, nodding toward the rocking chair. Following the Satedan to the back of the room she gently moved around him to pick the sleeping baby out of Jen's arms.

"I'll take her back to the bunkhouse," he declared moving to her side. Ronon reached down gently picking her up turning toward the door as Amanda's voice stopped him.

"Ronon, I'm sorry but I've been using her bed while you've been gone and I have my stuff all over it … could you just put everything on the floor for me?" she whispered softly hoping not to disturb those who were sleeping.

"She won't need her bed," he announced quietly before turning for the door. Jennifer felt light in his arms causing him to worry if she'd been eating. He felt her begin to stir a bit but then she snuggled in deeper as he made the short walk… thankful that the rain had finally stopped.

Once he'd arrived at his bed he laid her down taking off her boots and jacket before tucking her in. Looking down on her he knew this is where she belonged … but he wasn't ready for anything permanent. Still … this is where she belonged and he couldn't get the thought out of his head.

Moving to the other side of the bed he took off his own boots and slipped in beside her drawing her back against his chest. Burying his face in her hair he inhaled deeply … he loved her smell, the feel of her hair tickling his face._ "Yes,"_ he thought to himself, _"this is where she belongs,"_ he sighed, surrendering to the much-needed sleep they both needed.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sheppard met with Lorne and Harris just after dawn over coffee at the small table in the kitchen area. John was given reports on the new construction and the rescue/recovery efforts before making some operational decisions.

Harris and his combat engineers had just started clearing away rubble to make way for new housing units. He estimated another four to five days before they'd be ready to start rotating teams to help the local construction crews start the building.

Lorne reported for Dr. Keller that the admissions to the hospital had slowed dramatically and they were starting to send patients home. She'd estimated another one or two days before she'd be ready to turn things over to the local healer and head back to Atlantis.

After making some quick decisions, Sheppard scheduled his team to gate back to Atlantis later in the morning. Lorne would stay with the medical team returning in two days while Harris and his team would supervise the clean up for the next week. Once they were ready to start building again Atlantis would recall Harris and rotate teams to help with the construction. Konners' and Teldy's teams would also gate back in the afternoon.

Once the plans were made the men left to implement the new orders. Sheppard found Ronon at the building site for the new community hall helping with debris removal. After informing him of their departure time he sent Ronon to check in with Major Harris to gather and load any equipment they were ready to send back to Atlantis. Next he set off looking for McKay knowing he'd be somewhere nearby playing with all his gadgets, taking measurements of continued seismic activity.

~OOO~

Jennifer rolled herself into a sitting position gazing around the room. The first thing she noticed was how rested she felt … next, she realized she was still in her uniform. Considering she was sitting on the edge of Ronon's bed she knew Sheppard's team was back and her protector had more than likely carried her from the infirmary to his bed. In her head she could hear her sisterhood of independent women screaming for her to declare her ability to take care of herself. In her heart she knew she was perfectly capable but liked the idea of a man wanting to protect and care for her even if he was just a friend. Some day she hoped to find the same qualities in a man who would love her passionately… "_a girl could hope_," she mumbled to herself.

Considering her other two uniforms were just as stale and wrinkled she decided not to change, instead put on her boots and jacket then headed to the changing room to freshen up. Ready for the day she headed to the infirmary to check in with Dr. Cole and begin her sixteen-hour day.

"Good morning Jennifer," Amanda greeted. "You look really rested today."

"Thanks … I feel better than I have in days. It's amazing what a little extra sleep can do."

Jennifer wondered if she should say anything else about last night. She didn't want her colleague to get any wrong ideas. "So … um… I'm sort of assuming… you know… someone must have helped me … home?"

"You could say that," Amanda laughed. "I think the men in your life are bringing back shivery single-handedly."

"So … it's safe to say Ronon is back?" she frowned, blushing. "I'm sure Evan would've woke me up."

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. There's a certain Lieutenant I wouldn't mind carrying me home," she laughed.

"Oooh, would that be Lieutenant Smith? I've seen the way you look at him when you think no one's looking," Jen grinned.

"That obvious, huh?" Amanda sighed. "I feel guilty hoping he needs our services just so I can see him."

"Maybe we should have a Ladies Choice dance for our next social," Jennifer suggested.

Both women turned at the sound of the door closing to see Major Lorne walking across the room.

"He could carry me off in the dead of night and I wouldn't complain either," Amanda whispered, appreciating the swagger.

"Then I'd have to patch you up after Lieutenant Cadman got through with you," Jen snickered.

"Yeah, but there's no harm in admiring the view."

"You're insufferable!"

"Good morning ladies," Evan greeted as he neared the two doctors.

"Morning Ev," Jennifer smiled. "What's up?"

"Wanted to let you know we're starting to break camp … Sheppard's team will be leaving today and we'll be escorting your medical team in two days or as soon as you're ready," Lorne explained. "We'd like to send any gear you're not using with Sheppard's team this morning."

"We'll start packing up equipment. Maybe Lieutenant Smith could give us a hand if you don't need him." Jennifer suggested, smirking at Amanda.

"Sounds good … I'll be back in a couple of hours."

Jennifer had Amanda help her sort and tag items that would go back to Atlantis. She felt good about the two-day time frame for leaving hoping they could wrap it up as early as tomorrow night. The patients were all on the mend and Healer Nihra assured her that with the help of her volunteers she'd be able to handle the hospital on her own. The thought of a hot shower and clean clothes was the best thing she'd heard in days. Maybe it was time to break out the strawberry shower gel she'd been hoarding, stashed in the back of her lingerie drawer.

Lieutenant Smith showed up to help pack supplies and transport them to the jumper. Turning the task over to Amanda and Grant she watched the two walk off together both sporting a deeper shade of red as they shyly conversed. "_They make a good match_," Jen thought as she watched them work together.

Jennifer secretly hoped Ronon would show up and say goodbye but all too soon she'd heard they'd left leaving her feeling a bit disappointed. Maybe it was for the best … she didn't want to fall back into the same ol' trap of hoping their relationship would develop into something more. Instead she'd decided to change her focus and spend more time in her research lab. There were a lot of productive things she could be doing but pining for something she'd never have was not how she planned to spend her time.

~OOO~

Ronon wandered through the corridors of Atlantis feeling impatient and troubled. He'd wanted to stay on Reila until Jennifer came home and should have insisted even though Sheppard said it wasn't necessary. Now all he could do was think about her and worry that she might need him.

Walking into the sparring room for the umpteenth time he found Teyla gracefully working through some fighting moves with her rods and sat down to watch. A few minutes later she finished joining Ronon on the sidelines.

"It is good to see you home," Teyla offered, reaching for her water bottle. "Do you know when Dr. Keller and her team will be home?"

"One or two days," he grunted. "I don't like her being there alone."

"I am sure Major Lorne will take good care of her," she assured her teammate.

"Do you have time to spar?" he asked, not wanting to talk about his feelings.

"I am waiting for Amelia … she is giving me a kickboxing lesson. Maybe we could spar after the evening meal."

"Hey guys," Amelia called from across the room as she entered the gym. "Ronon, are you going to join us?"

"Sure, why not," he grumbled, thankful for something to take his mind off of Jennifer.

Watching Teyla reach up to take the call coming in on her comm., the two walked over to the mats giving her a bit of privacy. "So … have you been practicing any of your kickboxing moves?" Amelia asked in between stretches.

"No … but I'm not worried," he smirked.

"Pretty confident," she frowned. "Maybe we should make it interesting."

"Like what?"

"If I get you down on the mat just once you have to make dinner for me," she smiled, knowing he'd take the challenge.

"What do I get if you can't?" he grinned raising his eyebrows.

"I'll do your laundry for a week."

"Sounds good."

Teyla finished her call joining Ronon and Amelia on the mats, "I am sorry but Marie is needed in the infirmary so I must pick up Torren… maybe we can continue tomorrow."

"I'll meet you in the morning for breakfast," Amelia offered.

"That would be wonderful," Teyla agreed as she headed toward the door.

Turning back to the mat the two friends squared off beginning their training session. Amelia had years of experience with the sport and could hold her own but Ronon still had strength and speed on his size, which usually produced the win. The opponents jabbed and kicked for quite some time before Ronon's mind started to drift with thoughts of Jennifer filling his head.

_Was she okay… taking care of herself … getting ready to come home … was she thinking of him?_

Ronon ducked just in time to avoid a roundhouse kick to his head. Knowing he needed to rein in his scattered thoughts he pushed images of Jennifer to the back of his mind, unfortunately not before Amelia executed a series of advanced kickboxing moves that put Ronon on his back wondering what happened.

"What was rule number three in the Amelia Banks training manual?" Amelia chuckled as she stood over her opponent.

"Concentrate," he growled, jumping to his feet. "I guess I owe you a dinner."

"Tell you what … how bout a short round with the fighting sticks and if I loose I'll bring dessert," she offered smiling.

"Deal."

~OOO~

Dr. Keller finished her rounds early releasing several patients before calling it a night. She scheduled Darla and Sara to work the night shift with Dr. Cole after giving all three of them the afternoon off to sleep and pack their belongings for the trip home tomorrow.

Jennifer grabbed an MRE and cup of hot tea on her way to her bunk. This would be her first night in her own assigned and she wasn't looking forward to it. Approaching the back of the bunkhouse she noticed Ronon's bed was still where he'd left it complete with a fur blanket spread over the top. She'd assumed he'd have packed the covers away and taken them with him but once again he knew exactly what she needed.

After finishing her meal, Jennifer grabbed her bag and began packing up her few belongings. Once her duffle was secured she cleaned up and got in bed burrowing under the covers. Inhaling deeply she could close her eyes and picture Ronon, his scent strong in the pillow he left. Jen loved his smell … craved the deep woods tang and earthy aroma that was distinctly his.

Having fallen asleep to thoughts of her protector the young doctor rested through the night waking early in the morning. It was moving day and thinking of the comforts of home hastened her steps knowing the sooner they were packed the sooner they'd be traveling back through the stargate.

~OOO~

Ronon spent a restless night chasing after sleep with little success. He felt restless and anxious, as if his whole future was on the line yet he didn't know why. He was content living on Atlantis, was fulfilled working with Sheppard's team fighting the Wraith and helping the people of the Pegasus galaxy. He even enjoyed his part in preparing the Lantians with advanced battle skills. _So why can't I sleep_, he kept asking himself.

As the mess hall began feeding the early risers, Ronon found himself in the front of the line. He'd already completed an early morning run with Sheppard and taken on several challenges in the gym from overconfident Marines. Finding Sheppard at his normal table he took a seat across from his teammate. Nodding a quick hello to Amelia and Teyla sitting several tables over he dug into his meal with his usual vigor. Listening to Sheppard plan out their day with various training sessions and weapons practice he found himself grateful for the busy schedule … less time to stew over when Jennifer would be getting home from Reila.

After depositing his tray and trash in the proper containers the Satedan stopped by the women's table on his way out.

"Hey," he addressed Amelia. "When did you want to do that dinner?"

"How about tonight … I'll bring dessert," she suggested. "At least we'll have something decent to eat," she teased.

"I have a late training session so come around 20:00 hours," he stated smirking. "That should give me enough time to pick through the MREs for something special," he grinned turning promptly for the doors.

~OOO~

Major Lorne and Lieutenant Smith met with Jennifer late in the morning to make arrangements for their return. Smith stayed to help with the heavy packing after Evan established 19:00 hours as their time of departure. Lorne and the rest of his team then met with Harris' team to identify any additional equipment and supplies that could safely be returned to Atlantis without hurting the clean-up efforts.

As the hour of departure drew close, Jennifer met with Healer Nihra and her volunteers for some last minute instructions going over each patient's individual needs and care. Right on schedule Major Lorne lifted the jumper into the sky heading toward the stargate and home. Jennifer breathed a weary sigh of relief filled with sadness at what the people of Reila had endured but found respite knowing there would be more mercy missions in the weeks to come until Atlantis was confident the people were well on their way to recovery. Closing her eyes she whispered a quiet goodbye to Elten as the Ring of the Ancestors came into view.

~OOO~

Colonel Sheppard met the returning team with a handful of Marines to help carry the totes and equipment freeing the bedraggled and weary returning team to hit the showers. He'd also arranged a hot meal to be served in one hour, which seemed to lift everyone's spirits.

Jennifer began wrestling with her duffle and bedding when Evan stopped her suggesting she let the men deliver her things to her room. With a sigh of relief the doctor left the jumper bay with Ronon's fur cover and pillow in hand. She'd convinced herself that civility demanded she return the items herself so she could thank him properly. As true as that might seem if she were honest with herself that little seed of hope had moved from its hiding place to her heart the minute she'd laid her head on his pillow last night.

~OOO~

Ronon stepped out of the shower trying to think of something to make for dinner that would actually be edible. His heart wasn't in this dinner but he thought maybe Amelia's company might help him pass the night without obsessing on Jennifer. He'd been down this road always coming to the same conclusion so why was it so hard to maintain this friendship. He had other female friends … Amelia … Teyla … they were easy, simple, and they never kept him up at night. Maybe it was time to back off and put some distance between himself and Jennifer while he still could. He liked his life and wasn't ready to make any changes.

Answering the door he ushered Amelia into his quarters trying his best to see what was under the covering she'd put over her container.

"No peeking," she ordered slapping his hand playfully. "I don't smell anything yummy."

"I haven't started cooking yet," he frowned. "Maybe we should just watch a movie and eat your dessert," he suggested hopefully.

"You lost … you cook."

"Fine," he growled reaching for his shoes.

"Where're you going?"

"I'm going to get some food from the mess hall … I'll be right back," he explained. "Why don't you pick out a movie … we can watch while we eat."

"Sounds good."

Amelia proceeded to pick up G.I. Jane and load it into the DVD player pausing it at the opening scene then moved over to the coffee table to make a spot for their dinner. Hearing the chime she moved over to open the door.

"Wow that was fast …," Amelia started thinking Ronon was back with the food. "Oh, hi Dr. Keller … I didn't know you were back already."

"Hello… uh … I hope I'm not interrupting … is Ronon here?"

"He just ran down to get us something to eat … he should be back any minute. Would you like to come in and wait?" she asked smiling

"No … it's nothing important … I … uh … just wanted to return some things of his," she stammered feeling the heat begin to rise up her neck.

"I'm sure we can set another plate at the table," Amelia laughed gesturing at the coffee table.

"No … I'll just leave these with you if you don't mind," Jennifer said placing the bedding in Amelia's hands. "Nice to see you Amelia … hope you have a good evening and please tell Ronon thank you."

The gate tech watched Jennifer scurry down the corridor as she closed the door. Taking the items to Ronon's bed she placed them beside her coat in the darkened part of the room. She finished preparing the table just before Ronon returned with the overflowing tray of food. The visit from Dr. Keller was quickly forgotten as she helped arrange the plates and utensils next to the food and started their movie.

Jennifer forgot about the hot meal prepared for them in the dining hall choosing to flee to the safety of her room before she did anything stupid. Once the doors closed behind her she couldn't stop the tears of disappointment from flowing down the now familiar path. _"What was I thinking … again?"_ she berated herself. She'd gotten her hopes up, thought maybe he'd be waiting for her with open arms.

The doctor thought about all the care she'd taken to look her best when she arrived at his door. She'd taken a long hot shower washing all the grime off, letting the hot sudsy water slide over every part of her body. She took extra care with her hair using the scented shampoo she knew he liked. Having spent extra time with her wardrobe she stood in the hallway looking like a million bucks until the door opened catching her totally off guard. She'd never considered he'd be busy with another woman … "_What is wrong with me,"_ she ranted at herself.

There were so many things she should be doing … should be collecting her clean uniforms from the laundry … should grab her mail she hadn't checked in weeks … should get something to eat. Instead she curled up on her bed and cried herself to sleep vowing never again to get involved with a man … never again waste time dreaming about what could be … never again cry herself to sleep.

~OOO~

Ronon and Amelia sat scooping out the last of the cobbler from the bowl as the credits rolled giving proper recognition to everyone involved in the making of yet another military film. Seems like that's all they'd watched lately.

"Well, it's been a lovely evening but I need to run," Amelia announced knowing her new boyfriend, Sergeant Rivers, would be waiting now that he was back from Reila. "I'll take these dishes back to the mess hall for you," she offered piling everything back on the tray.

"I'll grab your coat," he offered walking over to the bed. Reaching for her jacket Ronon spotted his pillow and blanket. "What's this," he asked as Amelia walked up beside him.

"Oh … I totally forgot … Dr. Keller came by when you were in the mess hall. She asked me to give you those," she explained taking her jacket.

"Did she say anything else?"

"Said to say thank you … actually, she seemed a bit nervous. I invited her to eat with us but she seemed in a hurry to leave."

Ronon hissed under his breathe knowing he'd probably messed up again. After seeing Amelia out he returned to his bed sitting on the edge with his head in his hands… thinking.

This was not how he'd imagined Jennifer's homecoming. He'd wanted to have a meal with her … help her carry her supplies back to the infirmary … suggest they watch a movie together. Instead, he'd probably given her the idea that he and Amelia were still seeing each other.

Growing increasingly angry, he put on his boots deciding to try and work it off in the gym rather than trash his quarters. He needed some kind of relief and going to Jennifer was out of the question. Walking down the corridor he tried to convince himself that everything was okay. He and Doc were friends and that's all he needed. After all, he was never interested in her … he had no intentions … she was the one who wanted more.

Jennifer was different. He didn't want a casual relationship with her and he didn't want anything more than a short fling with anyone else. A year ago he'd spent some time with a pretty Marine who'd given him an earful when they'd gone their separate ways … what had she called him … oh, yeah … a crippled moron who couldn't handle a serious relationship. Of course he'd had to ask Sheppard what a moron was but in hindsight she'd pretty much nailed it … he was crippled.

Bypassing the gym he headed for the outer edges of the city deciding to run off his frustration rather than interact with others who might be in the sparring room. Halfway through his usual circuit he realized his thoughts were full of Jennifer… the way she walked … smelled … laughed. He loved the way she commanded those around her in the infirmary and her complete devotion to everyone in her care whether they were from Atlantis or other worlds. He loved the way she thought of others first and wore herself out meeting the needs of Atlantis.

He loved her hair.

He loved her smile.

He loved the way she loved him unconditionally.

He loved the way she felt in his arms.

He loved … her.

"Sheppard, this is Ronon."

"What's up," Sheppard answered.

"Where are you … I need your help."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Ronon sat in the co-pilot seat surprised that Sheppard had gotten permission so quickly. Once he'd realized he was in love with Jennifer he couldn't sit still till he fixed it… couldn't grab on till he let go.

"Okay Chewy … where should I drop you?" Sheppard asked after exiting the stargate.

"Go north … I'll camp out on the edge of town," he directed, not wanting to enter the city until dawn.

"Don't suppose you'd want to explain what're doing." John asked hopefully.

"Not now."

Sheppard did a thorough aerial search for any life signs before heading north to the edge of the dead city. It'd been a few years since they'd been to Sateda … not since they'd rescued Ronon from the Wraith hunters. The Colonel didn't know exactly what Ronon was up to but he'd wager a month's pay that Doc had something to do with it.

"Okay … two days tops," Sheppard said establishing what guidelines he could. "If you need or want to be extracted sooner use the gate. Check in with me tomorrow evening."

"Thanks … I'll be fine," he assured his teammate.

"You know… I'm not doing anything and we're on stand down right now … I could keep you company," John suggested. The secrecy was driving him crazy.

"Have to do this alone."

Sheppard stood at the bottom of the ramp watching his friend disappear into the woods wishing there was something he could do to lighten the burden the big man seemed to be carrying. Two days wasn't that long and maybe he'd share when he got home, John hoped.

~OOO~

Just before dawn Jennifer stumbled to the bathroom for a wet washcloth. Her eyes were swollen from crying herself to sleep and her head was pounding. Climbing back into bed she put the wet cloth over her eyes willing herself back to sleep.

Two hours later she was feeling better heading toward the shower to start her day. This was the first day of her newest resolve to get her life back under control. At this point she didn't think she could comfortably be friends with Ronon without acting like a schoolgirl clinging to her first love. It was time to break free.

Walking through the dining hall and onto the balcony Jennifer spotted a familiar face sitting alone on the far side, "Good Morning Teyla … mind if I join you?"

"Please … I am so happy to see you home," the Athosian welcomed. "When did you arrive?"

"We got back last night … I think I spent an hour in the shower," she chuckled, remembering how nice it felt.

"Yes, I believe I did the same thing when I returned," she smiled. "Have you seen Ronon?" she asked hoping the two of them were making time for each other. She'd quietly watched the odd relationship between them ebb and flow over the past months and wanted nothing more than to see them finally connect with each other. She believed Jennifer would be a good match for her dear friend and desired for him to be happy.

"No," she said awkwardly. "Actually, I went by his room to return some items and he was with Amelia so I just handed her the stuff and left quickly."

"I am sorry Jennifer … I did not realize Ronon was still seeing Amelia." Teyla was extremely disappointed with Ronon's behavior. She knew he had deep feelings for the doctor. Seeing the hurt in Jennifer's eyes was almost unbearable especially when she knew the Satedan loved her.

"It's okay … last night was a wake up call for me. I realized it's impossible for me to maintain a friendship when I care this much about him. I've decided to put this all aside and concentrate on my career for a while… maybe expand my research projects," she explained. It felt good to confide in someone … it definitely helped her resolve to share her feelings with Teyla knowing she'd understand.

"If it helps at all I know Ronon cares deeply for you," Teyla pronounced adamantly.

"Just not enough," she whispered holding the tears back.

~OOO~

Ronon found it impossible to sleep … his mind too full of memories. After starting a small fire he sat on his bedroll leaning against a tree as the first signs of dawn peaked over the horizon. He chose to start his pilgrimage in an orchard at the edge of the city… a place he held dear to his heart. This spot was a favorite play area when he was just a child. The trees were wonderful to run through playing games of war while brandishing dead branches as weapons. His family would often come to the country to hunt, teaching him at a young age the art of providing food and the skills of tracking. When he was older he'd brought Melena to this very spot to camp out under the stars as they'd made plans for their future. It had been perfect.

Taking a deep breath he inhaled the scents that reminded him he was home. The fruit trees in full bloom and the dampened earth stirred recollections long buried. The first of many tears fell as he leaned against the tree. Closing his eyes he could envision every road, every house, every face he'd grown up with along with the sorrow of their passing. It was hard to let go.

The Satedan stood and packed up his few provisions stashing them under some bushes holding out a few power bars to get him through the day. Feeling the need to expel some of his pent up energy he started jogging down the trail taking in the countryside while heading toward the city. As he ran he plotted out the different places he wanted to explore… his neighborhood … the country marketplace where the farmers and artisans showed their wares … the park he and Melena used to picnic in … maybe even Melena's house if time permitted.

Ronon and Melena had grown up in communities on the northern edge of the city close to the rolling hills of the countryside… far enough away from the hub of industry that the simple pleasures of life could still be felt. They'd attended the same schools, shopped in the same marketplaces, and shared the same friends. It had been perfect.

Once they'd finished their education Melena chose medicine as Ronon began his military training. Their families celebrated with them as they made their plans for a future together. Life had been good … Melena was quite a ways into her residency while Ronon was quickly moving up the ranks in his military career and they'd started the bonding process. Then in the blink of an eye it all ended when that first dart flew through the Gate of the Ancestors starting the war that would bring about the end of Sateda.

Ronon pulled his thoughts back to the present as he wandered along what remained of the main road leading toward the city center. Cooling down from his run the warrior slowly turned in every direction trying to find something familiar from his youth. Moving down a side street he quickly found what used to be the open market and spent some time rummaging through the rubble.

Stacking a couple wooden crates together Ronon sat surveying the area as he ate a power bar. It still amazed him how quickly a world succumbed to nothingness once the Wraith ripped out its heart. Word always traveled fast through the galaxy whenever a world fell, bringing wave after wave of pillagers and treasure seekers to finish the destruction. Anything of value had disappeared years ago. What hadn't been carted off through the gate had given way to the elements. To a small degree the devastation helped … nothing was recognizable which left only memories for him to draw on, unfortunately his memories were also what locked him in the past.

~OOO~

Dr. Keller had the day off but wandered through the infirmary looking at patient files and checking in with Dr. Billings. The lull between supply runs was always looked forward to by everyone… the new recruits were progressing with their training, supplies would have been logged and put away and the routine flow of the city is usually restored at this point between the Daedalus' trips.

After breakfast Jen grabbed her laundry bag stuffing it with her dirty uniforms before leaving her room to take care of a few errands. Stopping by the laundry facility first, she exchanged her soiled clothing for clean, crisp uniforms … it was surprising how clean clothes made such a difference, she thought to herself. Moving on to the mailroom she checked her slot before returning to her quarters. So much had happened since the welcome social … she couldn't remember the last time she'd checked her correspondence. Pulling the various memos and announcements out of her box she set the pile in her bag on top of her uniforms before heading toward Mr. Woolsey's office. Major Lorne had excused her from the debrief choosing to present her mission report for her. Still, she wanted to touch base with Mr. Woolsey now that she was back. The two spent twenty minutes going over the basics of the mission before she headed back toward her room.

On her way to the transporter Jennifer passed by the mess hall chuckling to herself as her stomach growled in protest. Making a quick impulse decision she ducked into the cafeteria loading up a tray of food to go. Killing two birds with one stone she satisfied her hunger and avoided the awkwardness of seeing Ronon and Amelia if they showed up for lunch. For now hiding in her room sounded like the best option.

Once she'd finished her meager lunch, Jen set about hanging her uniforms and unpacking her duffle. Sitting on the couch she sorted the pile of mail on her lap finding a letter at the bottom of the stack. Setting everything else aside she made herself comfortable looking forward to some news from home.

_My Dearest Jennifer,_

_It is with great sorrow that I tell you your father was killed in an auto accident earlier this month during an icy winter storm. On his way home from work the temperatures dropped and a blizzard developed making visibility awful. The local police said an oncoming car veered into his lane and they collided head on. He died instantly and the doctors assured us he didn't suffer. I can't imagine how sorrowful it must be to receive the news by this letter and if I could've found another way I would have come in person._

_At one time your father left me with a small notebook containing information concerning his personal affairs. When you took your job overseas he made me executor of his estate in case you couldn't be notified in a timely manner. In the booklet was all the information needed to contact you but unfortunately I misplaced the book when we moved last month. I know it's here someplace but I just can't find it._

_Your neighbor told me your dad talked about you being stationed with the military through one of the bases in Colorado. I've spent the last week talking with dozens of officers trying to find a location or phone number for you but the best I could do was get this address. The Sergeant I spoke with assured me this letter would be forwarded to you as soon as possible._

_My brother was the most caring and loving man I know and he was over the moon proud of his little girl. He loved you deeply Sweetheart … never forget that. He was taken too soon and if I could change any of that I would in a heartbeat. Had you been here Jennifer, you couldn't have changed it. It was a senseless accident and the last thing he would have wanted would be for you to feel guilty about not being here. _

_According to his wishes we had your father buried in the cemetery on 24th Street next to your mother and had the memorial service last week. I know you would have wanted to be here but when I couldn't reach you we didn't know what else to do … please forgive us for the sorrow we may have caused with our decisions. _

_Aunt Tess cleaned and straightened the house and your neighbors are keeping an eye on everything so there should be no worries for you until you get home. We'd love to see you Jen so please call us when you get home._

_Our love, Aunt Tess and Uncle Jared_

Jennifer sat in shock letting the contents of what she'd just read sink in. This must be some giant cosmic joke, she kept thinking. After reading through a second time she felt the tears start to break through. She needed to run or scream or talk to someone but nothing seemed sufficient. She needed Ronon but that door had closed leaving her lost for what to do next.

Brushing the tears aside, Jen stood and began wringing her hands, pacing around her quarters. She refused to let the facts seep in … refused to believe her father was gone … refused to accept she was alone. She still had her aunt and uncle but hadn't spent any time with them in years. She began taking ragged breaths trying to find some kind of control but instead found herself racing for the bathroom where she emptied the contents of her stomach. Feeling the need to stay close she scooted over near the wall and allowed the grieving to begin.

~OOO~

The sun was close to setting turning Ronon's focus toward the countryside and his bedroll. It'd been a hard day and yet he felt one step closer to his goal. After a twenty minute run back to his campsite he cooled down while gathering wood for an evening fire. Once settled with some dried jerky and an MRE, the Satedan pulled out the few treasures he'd rescued from the marketplace and gave them a closer look. Digging to the bottom of his knapsack he found an old piece of cloth to use as a polishing rag. A handful of coins were the first items he examined causing flashbacks of times he'd shop for his mother and spend the extra coins on sweet confections the local vendors offered.

Next he spread out the beautiful pieces of pottery he'd collected in the ruins of a small shop just down the street from the open-air bazaar. Against a half wall that was still standing he found a heaping pile of broken pots and vases, which appeared as if they'd fallen victim to youthful vandalism. Closing his eyes he cold visualize the pottery lined up against the wall being used for target practice. Sorting the pieces by colors and patterns caused a wide range of feelings from anger to grief as he thought of all the beautiful stoneware Sateda was famous for now lost forever along with the artists.

Taking the cloth he patiently wiped the years of dirt off each jagged piece. Looking at the useless fragments he couldn't conceive of any practical use for the painted earthenware but neither could he toss them aside. Laying out the cloth he vigilantly combined the pieces with the coins wrapping it all together then placing it carefully in his pack. Running his hand over the area to be sure he'd found everything he hesitated over something hard in he dirt. Picking at it he lifted what felt like several small objects matted together with mud. Grabbing what was left of his water he poured it over the clump liberating a small pendant hanging from a beautiful chain along with two more small stones. Holding the jewels in his hand he couldn't help but smile at the awesome find.

It'd been an emotional day and a bit tougher than he'd thought it'd be. Lying out under the stars Ronon let reflections of the day drift through his mind until sleep claimed his body.

~OOO~

Feeling the cold from the floor tile, Jennifer slowly woke to her darkened quarters taking a few minutes to organize her thoughts. Too quickly memories of her father's death came flooding in pulling her from the floor where she'd fallen asleep. Standing, she rinsed her mouth out and splashed water on her face before moving back to the other room in search of the letter.

After reading through the horrid news once again she didn't know what to do. Should she stay in Atlantis … should she go home… should she try to find some way to contact her uncle? Thinking through her options she couldn't imagine staying in the city as if nothing had happened. There was no way she could contact her family while in the Pegasus galaxy and wasn't ready for that anyway, which only left going home.

Jennifer stood in front of the bathroom mirror fixing her hair. Once presentable she left her quarters in search of Mr. Woolsey.


	12. Chapter 12

_Again … thanks to all of you who've kept up with the story. I've enjoyed and appreciated all your input. _

_A big thank you to daiseyscrapper for her encouragement … gave me that extra push I needed to finish._

_Hope you enjoy this new chapter and, as always, thank you Bailey for your help and advice._

* * *

><p>Chapter 12<p>

Ronon woke in the early hours of morning from the shouts and screams of war and the distorted faces of loved ones cut down by the enemy as they ran for their lives. Working hard to push the nightmare images from his mind he focused on the sky waiting for the sweat to dry and his breathing to slow. This was not the time to dream of failed battles … not the time to think of all the loss he'd endured. Instead, his purpose was to bring some perspective to his life, to lie the past to rest, to say good-bye.

Lying in the dark he couldn't help but think about Jennifer … wondering what she was doing, hoping she was missing him. Once he'd admitted to himself his love for the young doctor thoughts of her were never far away… she was always on his mind. Thinking of both women he'd allowed in his life he realized they had a lot in common. They were both healers who passionately loved their professions and they both loved him without reservation. After Melena passed he'd always thought he'd die young fighting the Wraith, chasing shadows of his former life. Jen gave him the confidence to believe for a long life, the desire to grow old with her.

Melena was his first love … his entire life revolved around her smile, her touch, her body. He tried to think of how long it'd been since he'd held her hand or shared a meal with her. As he slowly surrendered to his body's need for sleep he realized he'd been apart from his fiancé for almost as long as he'd know her. It was time to let her go, time to start living again. Time to sleep.

~OOO~

Jennifer packed the last of her toiletries into her duffle bag and left her quarters not even bothering to lock her door. Walking into the gate room she checked her watch noting the time at 19:00 hours … still time if she was lucky to find transportation home once she reached Cheyenne Mountain.

"Doc … I'm sorry about your dad," Sheppard offered as he walked up beside Jennifer awkwardly. "The SGC has made arrangements for you to catch a military transport out of Peterson for Minneapolis … they'll have a car waiting for you when you arrive."

"Thanks Colonel … I appreciate your help," she sighed sadly.

"You've had a rough year Jennifer, take as much time as you need," he encouraged. Hopefully some time away from her job would help get her through this rough patch. Sheppard hated the thought of losing her but worried it might be a real consequence in light of recent events.

Jennifer took a quick look around hoping to catch some small glimpse of Ronon before she walked through the waiting wormhole.

"I'll let him know what happened," John assured her.

"Probably better this way," she grimaced before taking the final steps to the event horizon.

~OOO~

Laura paced back and forth in the debarkation room waiting for Jennifer to walk through from the Pegasus galaxy. She wasn't sure what was going on just that Colonel Caldwell said a personal matter brought Dr. Keller back to Earth and General Landry requested she meet her when the doctor arrived.

Hearing the chevrons engage only served to drive the Lieutenant's blood pressure up a few more notches. She wasn't a patient woman when it came to the unknown. Shortly she looked up and saw her best friend standing at the top of the ramp looking lost and alone. Watching Jennifer slowly make her way down to the floor had Laura thinking the worst … did something happen to Evan … was Ronon okay… did some horrible skirmish push her over the edge? Before she could think of any other terrible disasters, Jennifer was walking into her waiting arms.

Jen collapsed in her best friend's arms … the arms of a loved one to hold her and grieve with her … someone to take care of her, which is exactly what she needed.

"What's going on Sweetpea?" Laura asked trying to keep the urgency out of her voice.

Jennifer finally felt enough release to still Laura's worries, "My dad died," Jen whispered through her tears.

"Let's get you checked in," Laura stated, walking her toward the infirmary. "I'll get us some transportation while you get your physical taken care of."

Lieutenant Cadman contacted Major Marks on the Daedalus asking for a big favor. Next she went through the proper channels to request a few days off until they headed for the Pegasus again. Jennifer needed her and she'd do everything possible to be with her.

General Landry instructed Walter to make all the arrangements needed to get the women to Jennifer's home as quickly as possible. By the time Jen was through with her physical everything was set. First they were beamed up to the Daedalus then down to the air base in Minnesota … Laura quickly signed out a car and they were on the road for the short drive to Chippewa Falls.

~OOO~

Ronon woke feeling free … like a huge weight had been lifted. He knew he'd always miss the life that was taken from him… the people he held dear… the places that helped shape the person he was today… all of it gone but never forgotten. He was ready to say good-bye to Melena and make a life with Jennifer if she'd have him. He'd one last thing to do before he left. Digging through his pack he found his radio, turning it on he placed it over his ear ready to communicate with Sheppard when he called.

Throwing his pack over his shoulder Ronon began jogging toward the main road and back to the neighborhood of his youth. Finding the market place once again he stood on the road with his eyes closed drawing on childhood recollections to guide him. Turning to the left he began walking west hoping to find the park he'd spent so much time in as a child.

As he walked through the neighborhood he searched for anything that would spark a recollection of where he was. There'd been far less destruction on this side of town than those parts closer to the city center, the industrial core. The further from the gate the less damage from vandals, he reasoned. Scavengers were predisposed to laziness … furniture, food and resources were much easier to cart through the gate when you only had to drag them a few blocks rather than a few miles.

Ronon had been walking for close to an hour when he spotted an open area up ahead on his right. Picking up his pace he quickly covered the distance and soon stood in front of the expansive recreational area … or what was left of it. During the time of its glory the acres of land boasted several small bodies of water with one larger lake used for boating and swimming. Many times he'd come to the park with his family to picnic and relax for the day. He'd loved this place more than any other.

This is where he'd secretly watched Melena when they were both young … where he'd first lost his heart to the fair-haired beauty. During their teen years they'd wordlessly wandered along the paths holding hands daydreaming about their future together. Here is where he'd first kissed Melena … where he'd asked her to be his mate … where they'd dreamed about children.

Straight ahead he could see what remained of the playground. Surprisingly some of the metal structures were still standing… the swings and play bars stood defiantly against the wreckage bringing a smile to the warrior's face.

Moving over to the swings Ronon sat quietly swaying as he thought of Jennifer and the life he hoped for. He never wanted to forget Sateda or the life he'd shared with Melena. The love he had for her was bore out of his youth … a time when everything was fresh and new … he felt like he could conquer the world. His love for Jennifer was a love felt as a man … passion and need… the hope of companionship and family. With Jennifer he wanted to conquer the world with her by his side… he needed her by his side.

"Ronon … this is Sheppard, please respond."

"Go ahead Sheppard," he answered, pulled from his thoughts.

"Hey buddy, you ready for pickup?"

"Yeah, I'm just south of the drop-off."

"Got you on the detector … I'll be right there," Sheppard stated, deciding to land in the open area he saw on the HUD.

Ronon stood wandering through the play area saying one last _goodbye_ to his world … his family … his past and especially to Melena. It was time to move on … time to love again.

"So … was it what you hoped for?" Sheppard asked as they rose in the air heading back toward the gate.

"It was good," he grunted.

"Did you want to make any stops before we leave … the city … your old barracks … anywhere?" his teammate asked.

"Saw all of that when I was running from the Wraith … I'm ready to go home," the Satedan announced.

"I like the sound of that," Sheppard said smiling.

~OOO~

Laura brought the bags in and started a fire while Jennifer slowly wandered around the house lost in thought. The Lieutenant watched her friend run her hands along the bookshelves while looking at the faces in the picture frames.

Lots of memories in this room, Jennifer thought to herself… the fleece blanket she'd made her dad two Christmases ago thrown over the back of the couch… his flannel shirt on the coat hook by the front door … the photo albums in a stack next to the fireplace. So much to do … she wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle it all.

Laura found her upstairs after she'd talked with the neighbor and stowed their bags.

"Hey … how're you doing?" Laura asked sitting next to Jen on her father's bed.

"This is hard … I can't wrap my head around it."

"Take your time. I just talked to your neighbors … they were worried when they saw the lights on … wanted to make sure you were okay," Laura explained.

"I'll go see them tomorrow," Jen said absently, looking over the items on the dresser.

"Your refrigerator is sparkly cleaned and very empty," the Lieutenant chuckled. But I did find some hot chocolate packets so I'll go make us something to drink and meet you back in the kitchen."

Jennifer went to the walk-in closet and turned on the light, running her hand over the hanging clothes she began to recount fond memories conjured up by the different shirts. So much flannel, she chuckled to herself, but then again they did live in Wisconsin. Several of the shirts she remembered giving him for Christmases and birthdays and several items she remembered seeing her whole life. Walking out to the dresser she randomly opened drawers curious of the contents. Next she looked through the small bookcase recognizing many of the titles … looking at his nightstand she picked up the current book he'd been reading and held it to her chest. It all seemed so overwhelming.

"Cocoa's ready," Laura called up the stairs.

"I'm coming."

The women settled at the kitchen table with cocoa and a bowl of pretzels poured from a bag Laura had found in the pantry. "Have you eaten anything today? Laura asked.

"No … but I'm okay. How 'bout you?"

"I was just coming out of the mess hall when Colonel Caldwell summoned me to his office. We'd just docked an hour before you walked through the gate."

"Thank you Laura … I don't think I can do this alone," Jen whispered.

"How long is your leave?" Laura asked.

"John said to take my time … I may not go back," she whimpered trying to hold back the emotions.

"Oh Sweetie … why wouldn't you want to go back?"

"I feel like my life's sort of in shambles right now. Ronon is with Amelia, and I just can't be friends anymore … it hurts too much. The heartache of the last mission just about did me in but Ronon was there to get me through … wouldn't have made it without him but when we got back reality set in and I realized I'd never be more than just a friend in his eyes. Not sure if I can live in the same city with him right now."

"Don't make any hasty decisions. Let's talk about it more tomorrow after you've had a chance to rest."

Laura sent Jennifer off to take a hot bath while she cleaned up the kitchen. Finding a notepad next to the phone she started making a grocery list hoping to slip out in the morning to buy some supplies before Jen woke.

Jennifer loved the tub in the upstairs bathroom. She remembered how she's begged her father to keep the old claw foot bathtub when he was remodeling a few years back. Before she left for Atlantis she took an extended trip home and laughed hysterically when she viewed all the new features of the updated room that'd been built around her beloved bathtub. Soaking in the water she couldn't help but smile through the tears knowing how much her father loved her. How would she make it without him?

After locking up for the night Laura climbed the stairs feeling helpless … she didn't know what to do for Jennifer to help her through this tough time. She hated the thought of her staying on Earth but knew she'd support her in whatever she decided. She wished there were something that needed to be defused or blown up … then she'd feel useful. Regardless of Ronon's words … or lack of … she still believed the man loved Jen and hated to see her friend give up. Hopefully tomorrow would be better.

Jennifer woke from a bad dream unable to grasp the contents before it faded leaving her awake and agitated. Putting on her robe and slippers she headed downstairs to make herself a cup of decaf tea. She'd noticed when she first arrived that her aunt had left her notes and mail on the side table next to the front door… retrieving the correspondence she sat reading through the pile while she sipped on her tea.

Opening the large oversized envelope she pulled out the contents spreading it on the table. The first thing she noticed was the death certificate. How could my father have died over a month ago and I didn't even know, she asked herself. Shouldn't I have felt something … known something was wrong? Maybe if she hadn't been so self-absorbed in her own personal life she'd have wondered why she hadn't gotten an email or letter in a long time. Maybe if she hadn't been so desperate to win Ronon's affections the past year she'd have made a point of getting home more often. Brushing the tears aside she growled at herself, vowing not to slide into a pity party over circumstances she couldn't change.

Next she unfolded a thick set of documents to find the loan papers on the house. Stapled to the top sheet was the deed to the house showing it'd been paid off several years ago. She made a pile with his social security card, union card, his insurance policy, and bank statements. Looking at the current balance in the account she let out a small gasp at what her father had saved over the years.

The next envelope contained mail that was probably collected by the neighbors … mostly fourth-class junk mail. Moving on she reached for a portfolio that was folded and tied with an attached string holding all her father's investments. He'd planned so carefully for retirement and he'd never get to enjoy it … never get to see any future grandchildren … never get to walk her down the aisle or help her buy her first house.

This was all too depressing she thought. Leaving the papers scattered across the table she picked up her tea cup placing it in the sink before turning the light off. Hopefully it'll all look better in the morning. Isn't that what Ronon told her not that long ago, she reminded herself.

~OOO~

Sheppard lifted the jumper to the jumper bay as the gate shut down behind them. Once settled the men walked down the ramp as John's radio went off informing him he was needed in the control room.

"Lorne needs me … you hungry?" the Colonel asked as they made their way through the corridor.

"Yeah … I need to do something first."

"I'll meet you in the mess hall in thirty minutes," John suggested hoping to talk to him about Jennifer's situation before anyone else blurted it out.

Ronon walked to his quarters dropping off his pack before leaving to find Jennifer. He had so much he wanted to tell her … so much he wanted to ask her as well. Approaching her door he ran his hand over the sensor announcing his presence. When she didn't answer he went through the process again in case she didn't hear the chimes the first time. When again she didn't answer the door he started to leave but on impulse he tried the door to see if it was locked. As the door opened he stepped in calling her name. Curiosity getting the best of him he stepped in a bit further looking around the room.

Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply rewarded with the distinct smell of lavender, strawberries and antiseptic… the smells that were uniquely Jennifer. Looking around the room he felt something was off. Her bed was neatly made but several dresser drawers were slightly ajar. The sitting area seemed a bit disturbed … pillows out of place, paper on the floor, throw blanket tossed aside, definitely something was off. Glancing toward the bathroom he could see towels on the floor next to the toilet, which seemed out of character for Jennifer. Turning back to the sitting area his eyes fell again to the paper on the floor. Picking up what looked like a letter he briefly scanned the contents shocked at what he read. Easing himself down to the couch he started at the beginning and read through the letter twice before bolting from the room. He needed to find Jennifer.

"Sheppard," he announced as he approached the table, "where's Jennifer?"

"That's want I wanted to talk to you about … sit down," he gently ordered. "Her dad died and she gated back to Earth last night."

"Is she alone?" he asked worriedly. He hated the thought of her going through this by herself.

"I'm not sure … she left here alone but I don't know if she met up with family or friends once she got to Wisconsin," Sheppard offered, hoping to ease his teammate's worry.

"I need another favor," the warrior growled.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Laura spread the groceries on the counter and started the coffee. She enjoyed sharing a cup of tea with Jennifer but she needed coffee to get the day started. Finding the teakettle in the cupboard she filled it with water and set it warming on the back burner. The necessities started, she went about making breakfast hoping the smells would wake Jen. Once the bacon was cooking and the blueberry muffins baking she could hear footsteps on the stairs.

"Morning sunshine," Laura greeted, handing Jen a cup of hot water and the basket of teabags. Filling the table with plates of scrambled eggs and bacon, Laura added juice and a bowl of muffins before taking a seat across from her. "I see you didn't sleep well," she added nodding toward the piles of paperwork.

"Yeah … it was a rough night."

"Seems like your aunt was pretty organized … is there anything you need to take care of before we head home?" Laura asked.

"I'm not sure. Keeping the house is such a big responsibility. If I don't go back then I'd need the house or I could sell it and buy something smaller … not sure I'd be able to part with all the memories. But after my fiasco with Ronon maybe a fresh start would be good. What do you think?" she asked her friend, hoping for some good advice.

"I think it's too soon to make any big decisions … maybe you should go back to Atlantis and take the next year to figure things out."

"Can you promise me I won't run into Ronon and Amelia every time I turn around?" Jen asked sarcastically.

"You said he took good care of you on the last mission … what makes you think he's still with Amelia?" Laura asked confused.

"He did take care of me … was very protective and even a bit affectionate. He returned a couple of days before me but left some of his bedding. When I went to return it Amelia answered the door … said he was at the mess hall getting them something to eat," she explained sadly. "I really don't think I'm jumping to conclusions. After all, he could have come and explained when he found the things I'd returned but he didn't. I'm sure he hasn't given it a second thought."

"Doesn't sound like it …but he's not the only guy on Atlantis. Give yourself some time to think things through … what ever you decide I'm behind you one hundred percent."

Laura set Jennifer back in front of the paperwork while she cleaned the kitchen. After refreshing Jen's tea, she poured a fresh cup of coffee and sat down to help wade through all the legal papers Uncle Jared had complied. "From the looks of some of this information it seems rather obvious you'll be well taken care of no matter what you decide," Laura pointed out.

"The last thing I want to do is sit around and do nothing. I guess I need to find a good investment counselor …maybe Uncle Jared can take care of that." Jen mumbled.

"You should probably look through this pile of post-its," Laura urged.

"Then can we take a break … I'm having a hard time concentrating," she sighed.

"Come on … let's go for a walk," Laura suggested pulling her up from the table.

~OOO~

Ronon walked into the gate room with his pack over this shoulder sporting a determined look. He'd taken a shower and packed clean clothes while Sheppard got him permission to gate to Earth.

"Hey … you my escort?" Ronon asked Lorne as he came to a stop.

"Yep …I'll be your tour guide for this shindig. So where're we going, Sheppard never said," Lorne asked, watching John enter the room.

"Doc's dad died … I wanna be with her," he stated quietly.

"Hey … you boys ready?" the Colonel asked as he approached. "Sorry Lorne … I assumed Jennifer would have talked to you before she left," he added seeing the surprised look on the Major's face.

"I take it we're going to Wisconsin," Evan stated, watching the chevrons lock in.

"Check in with Walter when you get to the SGC and he'll coordinate your transportation with Major Marks," Sheppard instructed. "Stay out of trouble boys and make sure you bring Jennifer home with you on the Daedalus."

~OOO~

Jennifer led Laura to a nearby park a few blocks away and they spent time watching the children play…it was good to get some fresh air. She told Laura stories of growing up in the Midwest pointing out her favorite places in the neighborhood as they walked back to the house. Jen felt a lot more relaxed and knew it was time to make the trip to the cemetery and somehow reconcile the fact that her dad was gone and she'd never again feel his loving arms or see his infectious smile. This part of the journey would be the hardest part of coming home and she wasn't sure she was up to the challenge.

"I think I'm ready to walk to the cemetery and see my father's grave," Jennifer sighed, hoping she sounded braver than she felt.

"Would you like some company … it'll be dark soon," Laura offered.

"This is a safe town, I'm sure I'll be fine. I think I need to go alone this first time … maybe we can go together tomorrow." Jennifer suggested. "I'll help you with dinner as soon as I get back," she offered, hugging her best friend tightly.

~OOO~

Lorne pulled into the driveway and parked behind the other motor pool car. Before the Major could even get his door open Ronon was halfway up the walkway. Evan caught up just as they climbed the stairs to the front door.

Ronon felt anxious, uncertain as he reached out to ring the doorbell. He desperately wanted to help Jennifer … wanted to protect her from the grief she was feeling. If nothing else he wanted to be with her to help her through the sorrow. His biggest fear right now was that she might reject him.

Laura quickly dried her hands with a dishcloth on her way to the front door. Thinking she'd find Jennifer on the other side, her mouth dropped in surprise at the two most unlikely visitors she could imagine.

"Major? Ronon? What are you guys doing here?' Laura asked, once she'd recovered.

"Lieutenant … ," Evan started to explain before Ronon interrupted.

"Is Jennifer here?" he asked worriedly, "I need to see her."

"She just left for the cemetery a few minutes ago. Now … what are you guys doing here … not that I'm not glad to see you," she added quickly.

"I'm here as Ronon's escort. Where did you come from … not that I'm not glad to see you either," he chuckled.

"We docked just before Jennifer came through the gate … Landry had me meet her and then I got permission to accompany her home."

"Nice reunion," Ronon said sarcastically. "How do I find Jennifer," he asked again.

"Sorry Ronon … the cemetery is four blocks north to 24th street then turn right and go another two blocks."

"I don't need an escort for this," Ronon said smirking at Lorne.

"Why don't you stay and help me make dinner … Sir?" Laura asked, standing at attention.

"Hmmm … quality time ordering you around the kitchen … I like that idea," he grinned moving further into her personal space.

"Ronon … it'll be dark soon," Laura worried watching the Satedan start down the walkway.

"I'll take care of her," he assured her.

Jennifer stopped at the florist stand near the entrance to the cemetery. In the past she'd always hated seeing the little stand feeling the owners were taking advantage of grieving friends and family. Now she was grateful for their presence as she bought a bouquet of wildflowers, her dad's favorites, and a large bunch of daisies. She walked away from the stand with a totally different opinion of the owners.

Ronon pulled again at the collar of his shirt trying to ease the stiffness he felt around his neck and through his shoulders. He hated the feel of Earth clothes and couldn't understand the design. After turning onto 24th street he noticed his surroundings change… quieter streets, less pedestrian traffic, deeper shadows. The warrior quickened his pace. He could see the large field of memorial markers in the distance but had yet to catch a glimpse of Jennifer.

Caleb was in the back room shutting down computers and straightening the break room as he locked up for the night. The groundskeepers had just left for the day and he was fairly sure all the visitors were long gone. He was surprised to hear the front door chimes ring and hurried to the front desk.

"Hello Caleb," Jennifer smiled.

"Jenny Keller?" he called, surprised.

"It's good to see you … how've you been," she asked.

"Jen, I've been a bit worried about you … I knew you'd be here if you knew about your dad," he stated concerned.

"I just found out," she quietly replied doing her best not to cry. "I was out of the country and it's really difficult to receive any kind of communication where I work … well, except delayed emails," she smirked. "I don't think there's any place in the universe you can go where there isn't email."

"Isn't that the truth," Caleb chuckled. "I heard you were in the Military … but then I also heard you were in the CIA, British Intelligence and meditating high in the Himalayans. You know how small town gossip can be," he smiled. "Exactly where have you been?"

"I know this sounds sinister but what I do is classified. I can tell you I'm a doctor and I work with a group of people from many different countries including a military contingent."

"Sorta like that doctors without borders group?"

"Sorta," she smiled. "So … how have you been?"

"Oh … you know … graduated from UMM with a degree in engineering but missed my small town roots. Sort of at a crossroads right now trying to figure out what to do with my life."

"I'm kind of doing the same thing myself," she confessed. "Caleb, I know you're about to close for the day but would it be okay if I spend a little time at my father's grave … I walked so I don't have a vehicle to worry about."

"Not a problem … say, would you like to get a cup of coffee afterwards … I don't mind waiting?" he asked hopefully.

"Maybe another time … I have a friend waiting back at the house and it's been a long couple of days."

"Take your time … I'll be here for a bit longer if you need me … still need to drive the grounds and make sure everyone's out."

Ronon watched from the shadows as Caleb walked Jennifer outside giving her a quick hug before they both went their separate ways. He figured this stranger was someone she knew but still didn't like someone touching his woman, which is how he'd begun to think of her.

Standing in the growing darkness he didn't like the feeling of spying on her but didn't want to barge in until she'd spent time with her dad so he followed at a discrete distance. Not that she would've noticed if he'd been walking right behind her. Jen had a habit of totally concentrating on the task at hand oblivious of anything going on around her … something he planned on changing when they got home.

Ronon took up his vigil in a stand of trees behind the graves close to the road. He watched her kneel and brush off the dirt and leaves from one marker before placing the flowers around the headstone. He could see she was visibly shaken and wanted to go to her and wrap her in his arms. Watching her rise to her feet he started to leave his hiding place only to see her move a few feet to her right and kneel once again causing the Satedan to move back into the shadows.

Caleb watched from a distance making sure Jennifer was okay. He'd had a major crush on her in his early high school years, before she graduated and headed off to college. He cared about her and wanted to be sure she was doing okay before he left for the night. Seeing a man come out of the shadows toward Jenny brought him out of his truck but then the stranger returned to his hiding place confusing the attendant. He couldn't decide if the man posed a threat so he stood next to his truck around the bend keeping guard with one hand on his cell phone should he need to call in the cavalry.

Ronon took note that he was being watched but didn't see it as a threat … in fact he was relieved to know her friend was looking out for her and standing guard. He could tell by the anguish Jennifer displayed that she must be kneeling by her father's grave. At first her tears were quiet but she'd moved into uncontrolled sobs and he didn't know how long he could keep hidden … she was breaking his heart.

Jennifer felt spent as she wiped her tears with the sleeves of her shirt. She was overwhelmed with the grief of losing her father. Kneeling at the grave markers she felt the full force of being alone in the world. Maybe she should have brought Laura with her, she thought.

This would be the last time she would visit the cemetery … it was too hard for her to keep them alive in her heart when she was presented with the tangible evidence that they had passed. She was cold … she was weary … she was consumed with sadness; it was time to go home.

Ronon watched her stand up. He'd waited as long as he could … slowly moving from his hiding place he covered half the distance between them and stopped … waiting.

Caleb watched the man move from the shadows surprised at how large he was. Opening his cell phone he started punching in the numbers but then stopped when the man dressed in black stopped and Caleb waited before hitting the send button to see what would happen.

Jennifer said her final goodbye to her father and turned toward the road. Taking several steps she looked up to see Ronon standing just a few feet away and gasped in surprise.

"Ronon … what are you doing here?" she asked startled.

"Didn't want you to be alone," he explained awkwardly. There was so much more he wanted to tell her … wanted to ask her … but knew this wasn't the time.

Jennifer walked the remaining steps stopping in front of the Satedan looking up into his eyes, "Thank you," she whispered before surrendering to his care.

Ronon held her while she cried pulling her in closer. From the corner of his eye he watched the stranger put his phone away and silently slip back into his truck. If he ever got the chance he wanted to thank him for watching out for her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know where all the tears are coming from," she mumbled, knowing she was soaking his shirt.

"I'm sorry about your dad … I know you were close."

"He'd have liked you … especially the over protectiveness," she quietly laughed.

"Time to go home," he directed, pulling her in close to kiss the top of her head as they headed toward the road.

Jennifer rested in his embrace snuggled up against his side as they wandered home hoping Amelia would understand.

~OOO~

"Bout time you two got home," Laura chided, as her friends walked into the kitchen. "Dinner's almost ready."

"Thanks Laura … if you don't mind, I'll go clean up real quick."

"So… is she okay?" the Lieutenant asked, slapping Ronon's hand as he picked at the food cooking on the stove.

"I think she's cried out … just needs a couple of days rest."

"Laura and I were thinking of heading back to the SGC … had a few things we wanted to do before catching the Daedalus home. Will you guys be okay alone?" Evan asked.

"We'll be fine."

"I should warn you Ronon, she's been talking about staying on Earth," Laura confided.

"I'm bringing her home," he said adamantly, "save us a room on the Daedalus."

Evan slipped Laura a questioning look wondering what was going on with the big guy … was this about something more than friendship, Evan wondered.

After dinner the couples cleaned the kitchen and then settled in the living room in front of the fire with a good movie. The girls let the guys pick the film and agreed to a "Back to the Future" marathon since Ronon had never seen the movies. Jennifer didn't even pretend to watch the film but snuggled up next to Ronon and quickly fell asleep.

They only made it through one movie having to stop constantly to explain things to Ronon. Everyone agreed to watch the sequels on the return trip to the Pegasus.

"Ronon, I'll grab blankets and a pillow from the linen closet for you … is the couch okay?" Laura asked, knowing Evan would take the room next to her.

"I'll sleep with Jennifer," he announced scooping her up and heading for the stairs.

"What is that about?" Laura asked once the Satedan had left the room. "I thought he and Amelia were still an item?

"I'm confused too … I know they slept together when they were on Reila …" Evan started to explain causing a shocked look from Laura that sent her eyebrows into her hairline. "Not like that! He was very overprotective on that mission and kept her close … it was a hard mission, Laura … she lost a lot of patients," he quietly explained. "Maybe he needs to have her close while she's in so much pain."

"If you get a chance ask him about it tomorrow … Jennifer thinks he and Amelia are still dating."

"Yes, ma'am," he teased, nuzzling her neck, "lets lock up for the night and I'll show you how protective I can be."

~OOO~

Jennifer stood on the porch giving Laura an extra long hug. She still didn't know what she was going to do and needed her friend's approval, "Will you come see me if I don't go back to Atlantis?"

"Every time we dock," she assured, hugging her tighter. "I don't want to think about that so I'm just gonna say _see you on the Daedalus_," she sighed softly. "Love you Jen."

"Come here Shortie," Evan called, dragging her in for a big bear hug. "Let me know if he gets out of line," he teased, giving Ronon a scowling nod. "I officially turn my escort duties over to you," he bowed playfully. "Love you Jen," he whispered kissing her on the cheek.

"Love you back," she returned, choking on the tears. Stepping back into Ronon's chest she welcomed the warmth of his arms as she watched her best friends drive out of sight knowing it might be the last time she sees them for a long time.

For the rest of the day Jennifer worked on all the paperwork and called her uncle. She still felt conflicted over what to do about the house … about her life … about her love for Ronon. Every time she had things figured out about the man he'd step up and do something to change her mind. Time was running out and she needed to make some decisions.

Ronon knew he had to talk to Jennifer … let her know how he felt … what he'd planned. He had to convince her to come home with him of her own free will but one way or another he was taking her home.

He was never good with words and didn't want to make it worse. Late in the afternoon he went for a run mulling over all the life changing decisions he'd made in the past few days… decisions that would change both of their lives forever.


	14. Chapter 14

Jennifer tired of all the decisions that needed to be made … it made her brain hurt. She'd made stacks on the table as she worked through all the information but there was still a large pile of things she'd yet to look through. Her uncle had assured her he would take care of anything she left or had questions about but she wanted to do as much as she could. Maybe a break would help.

Pouring herself a glass of wine she went out to the back patio and started a fire in the pit. It was a bit chilly but she needed some fresh air.

Ronon returned from his run going straight upstairs to shower. Afterwards he walked to the kitchen grabbing a beer before heading outside to find Jennifer.

"Hey … did you get it all done?"

"I wish," she answered sarcastically. "I'm horrible at decision making unless someone is bleeding or gasping for breath."

"Come here," he invited holding his hand out.

Curling up on the wicker love seat she leaned her head on his chest sighing deeply, "You feel warm."

"Just showered … you okay?"

"Having trouble concentrating," she sighed.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"Mostly the house … it's such a big responsibility, I don't know if I'm up for it."

"I like this house … good place to raise a family," Ronon thought out loud. It was a spontaneous observation but true nonetheless. Small town, beautiful tree lined street, huge yard and Jennifer loved it. He could almost see himself on the front porch swing rocking a little one to sleep. Of course it'd have to be after the Wraith were wiped from the face of the universe.

"It is a great house but right now I doubt if I ever get married and have children… it may be too much for me by myself," she worried, tired of all the heavy thinking.

"Have I thanked you yet for coming?" she asked, chuckling.

"Maybe once or twice," he assured her smiling.

"I hope Amelia didn't mind," she sighed, feeling a little bit like a home wrecker.

"Why should she care?" he asked confused.

"Because you two are dating," she answered, puzzled by his insensitive manner.

"What gave you that idea … Amelia is with Rivers."

"You brought her to the last social," she started, turning to see his face while she continued. "I came by your room when I got home and she answered the door … said you were down getting something for the two of you to eat. Where I come from that's dating."

"I lost a bet and had to cook her dinner," he explained.

Jennifer stood and paced angrily… fuming at herself for jumping to conclusions. "I'm sorry. I feel so stupid!" she mumbled. Frustration overwhelmed her as she shuffled her feet, disappointed with herself. "You have a way of reducing me to a blubbering idiot when I'm around you," she stammered.

"You're not an idiot," he growled, reaching for her as she backed up.

"No … I need to get this out. Every time I try to stay out of your life something always happens to draw me back into your arms. It's a vicious cycle… I can't do this anymore. I should just stay here on Earth and start a new life … give you the freedom to start over too."

"Jennifer …," he said, trying to get a word in edgewise before she cut him off.

"I'm awful at relationships … I just never learned the basics growing up. I don't think we can be friends," she choked, trying to hold it all together. "I want you to be happy … I want you to start a new life with someone you can love."

"Jennifer," he said a little louder but once again she cut him off.

"Ronon … I know this all started out as an awful joke and I know you didn't mean to hurt me but when you told me you didn't have any real intentions it tore me apart … I can't get over it if you stay in my life," she finished, letting the tears flow.

"Jennifer … I do!" he stated boldly.

"Do what?" she asked confused, thinking he was agreeing with her. Feeling hurt at his bluntness she turned away to hide her emotions.

Ronon gently took her face in his hands turning her back to look at him, "I do have intentions."

"Oh … well …that's … ah, good," she stammered. "You deserve to be happy," she mumbled, feeling self-conscious with him so close. Once again she felt stupid after ranting on and on. Here all the time he'd already found someone… now she just wanted to disappear.

"I have lots of intentions," he started, pulling her closer.

"I intend to protect you," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"I intend to always be friends," he continued, kissing her forehead

"I intend to take you home," he said kissing one tear-streaked eye.

"I intend to make you my mate," he announced kissing her other eye.

"I intend to have children with you," he added kissing her cheek.

"And I intend to grow old with you," he finished kissing her other cheek. "… in this house," he murmured on her lips as he drew her in.

Jennifer felt swept along on a raging river … it was dangerous … exhilarating … a risk she thought she'd never be asked to take. As Ronon continued to attack her senses she could feel her ability to think slowly slipping away … was this really happening?

"Ronon … ah … do you … are we …," she whispered as he continued to kiss her into silence, "Ronon please," she persisted, hoping to get his attention while she could still remember what she wanted to ask … what she needed to know.

"What," he growled, continuing a path down her neck.

Jennifer worked at loosening the vise-like grip he had on her, hoping to be heard, "Are your _intentions_ for just this moment or for when we get home too?" Again, she felt stupid but she needed to know. She'd loved him for so long and she had a hard time believing what he'd just confessed to her.

Ronon pulled back just enough to look in her eyes, "For always, little one, for always."

Looking at the sincerity in his eyes was all she needed to know nothing could separate them again. "You can resume," she sighed contentedly with a smile that lit up the room.

They continued exploring this new relationship until long after dark but eventually Ronon's stomach growled loud enough to get their attention.

"Hey … you hungry?" she snorted, realizing it'd been a while since they'd eaten breakfast with Evan and Laura.

Ronon looked down with a sarcastic smirk while arching his eyebrow, "Maybe a little."

Jennifer held his gaze for what seemed like a long time before she broke out in uncontrolled laughter.

"You wanna order Pizza?" Ronon asked feeling his mouth salivate just thinking about food.

"I'll order the pizza while you start a fire … if you're not kissing me senseless it seems a bit cold out here… we should probably move inside," she suggested, removing herself from his lap.

"Think we'll both fit in that chair by the hearth?" he suggested grinning.

"Hold that thought … I'll be right back." Jennifer all but floated into the kitchen grabbing the phone book for the number to the local pizza joint. Looking around for the portable phone she found it on the kitchen table … off the hook.

After ordering the pizza she placed it back in the cradle before returning to the living room. "They're really swamped tonight so it may take an hour to deliver. What should we do while we wait?"

Ronon looked at her with an evil grin as he pulled her down into his lap, "Get to know each other better." As his prey snuggled into his chest he heard the front door open.

"Hello … we're home," Lorne called from the front entryway.

"You'd both better be decent," Laura called jokingly as she walked into the room. "Wow! Can't leave you kids alone for a minute. I know you've been her protector, Ronon, but seriously, do her lips really need that much protecting?" The Lieutenant asked smirking.

Jennifer shrieked jumping out of Ronon's lap nearly tripping over her own feet. She felt the heat travel from her collarbone to the top of her head turning her face a perfect shade of red. "You scared me," Jen stammered, frowning at her best friend.

"You both look like you just got caught with your hands in the cookie jar," Laura laughed.

"Radios?…cell phones? Either of those ring a bell?" Evan asked sarcastically.

"Sorry … I didn't think to bring my radio and my cell phone needs charging," Jennifer explained.

"Radio's upstairs… I don't like cell phones," the Satedan declared.

"I even tried the land line but it was busy for like an hour before we decided to just crash your little party," Laura said grinning.

"Someone left it off the hook," Jen explained never taking her eyes off Ronon.

"What's up?" Ronon asked.

"We've been recalled. The Daedalus will beam us back to the SGC as soon as we arrive at the air base."

Seeing the hurt in Jennifer's eyes, Ronon stood and went to comfort her, "I'm sorry."

"You too Jennifer … Sheppard wants you back ASAP if you feel up to it. Seems the Geni and Larrin's people have come to a major disagreement … they've drawn a line in the sand and the Colonel's afraid this may get out of hand. He and Teyla are trying to be the voice of reason but the talks aren't going as well as they could so we're all on stand-by as of 22:00 hours," Evan quickly explained.

"After you pack come back to the table and give me instructions on what to do with everything and I'll coordinate it all with your uncle," Laura instructed. "Unless … you've decided not to go back," she added worriedly.

"She's coming home," Ronon said firmly, dismissing any further discussion.

"Aren't you coming with us?" Jen asked.

"No Sweetie … the Daedalus will be leaving early too but not until tomorrow. I'll get everything done here then they'll beam me right to the ship in the morning.

"Where are the keys to the car? I'll go get it gassed up," Lorne offered.

"On the counter," Jen nodded toward the kitchen.

"Come on … you need to pack," Ronon instructed taking her hand.

Jennifer quickly packed her few clothes then slipped over to her father's room while Ronon was in the bathroom grabbing his toiletries. It was hard to say goodbye … fingering the quilt on the foot of the bed she felt a lone tear make its way down to her chin.

Ronon sat down beside her and pulled her in close, "You okay?"

"Just saying goodbye … it's hard not to feel guilty when I'm so happy."

"He'd want you to be happy."

"I know … I wish you could have met him."

"We have a lifetime for you to teach me all about him," he offered earnestly. "I'll meet him through your eyes."

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" she smiled through the tears.

Ronon leaned down giving her a kiss of approval. Time to go," he said, pulling her up for a quick hug.

Jennifer spent a few minutes instructing Laura on each pile of paperwork she'd made on the kitchen table. She watched the explosives expert take notes on what to leave for Uncle Jared and what to tell the neighbors. Before long Evan had the bags loaded and they were once again saying their goodbyes.

"See you in a couple of weeks," Laura said hugging her tightly. "I'm really happy for you sweetie … he's a keeper," she chuckled.

"Go through my DVDs and pack some chick flicks … I'll have the popcorn ready when you dock," she promised.

Jennifer hurried down the walkway catching up with Ronon as he eagerly paid the pizza delivery guy. "Perfect timing," she giggled as he tucked her under his arm.

Laura waved goodbye then turned back to the kitchen and the chore she'd volunteered for. Before she made it all the way into the room she ran back to the door flinging it open, "Hey … what about the house?" she yelled just as they arrived at the waiting car.

Jennifer and Ronon both turned and yelled at the same time, "We're keeping the house."

_The End_

* * *

><p><em>Thanks again to everyone who read the story … I appreciate the kind words and encouraging input from each of you. <em>

_Thanks to bailey1ak for your wonderful editing skills. I'm off to work on a new chapter for The Rough Thorns!_


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